South Park

Grr. South Park is one of those shows that really ought to be higher on my radar than it is. They serve it up online for free, for crying out loud. But for some reason, I find myself spending months totally unaware that it exists, then going on all-day-Sunday archive binges to catch up on whole seasons.

Maybe I'm in the low-expectations crowd. I've always liked South Park but never loved it, if you know what I mean, so it never really lets me down. It's an amusing 22-and-a-half minutes or whatever.

Also? If Cartman's cover of "Poker Face" doesn't win some kinda Nobel peasy-prize, there's no God.

Shut the hell up, Teague.

It's okay to be mean to me if you want. At least then I'd feel something.

cut cut cut

Okay, so I just got around to watching "You Have 0 Friends." And it's fucking brilliant.

It's also a keen insight into why I don't have a Facebook page. Because I so gravely fear having 0 friends.

Ohgoddammit. The correct answer is "Oh, you should get a Facebook page, Jeff! I'd totally be your friend! And we'd play Mafia Wars or whatever Facebook people do."

And then I'd be all "Oh, no, no, you don't want to be friends with somebody as plain and dull as me."

And you'd be all, "I don't think you're plain. In fact…" and you'd reach out and let my hair down, and take off my glasses, and the music would swell…

But you. You blew it. You're stuck going to the prom with that shallow cheerleader with the big boobs who always puts out, instead of sitting on the damp grass in the park with me and drinking champagne from the bottle you stole from your parents' fridge before you put your tuxedo jacket around me and I lean my head on your shoulder while we watch the sun rise over the mountains.

Wait. What were we talking about?

Thanks to that, I now realize I'm Stu Maschwitz's Twitter rash.

Ok that was fucking hilarious.