The man thread. (Page 1 of 2)

Already the lushes and sycophants flock.

[18:42] i eat your emo: I wanna be in the man thread.
[18:42] XKingofShadowsX: Have you chopped wood with an axe?
[18:42] i eat your emo: yes!
[18:43] XKingofShadowsX: Have you been in a fistfight?
[18:43] i eat your emo: sort of.
[18:43] XKingofShadowsX: Have you killed Ryan Weiber with a lightsaber?
[18:43] i eat your emo: I've fought him with a lightsaber.
[18:44] XKingofShadowsX: THEN FEEL FREE TO MAKE A "SORT OF MAN THREAD," BUTTBANDIT.

Oh hi, high school and college. It's been awhile.

How's the whole trying really hard thing?

Oh yeah?

Don't worry, I'm sure it'll work eventually.

Yeah.  Trying really hard to get YO MAMA TO STOP CALLIN' FO' A PIECE.

If Eddie and Mike were here, there would be chest bumps for that one.

Now y'all need to leave this thread before the extra estrogen wafting through the air starts to turn Eddie's perfect pectorals into breasts.

Yah you tell em Jeff. We don't need you and your manly muscle ridden, sweat gleaming rock hard bodies. I have my showtunes.

<Dances off singing La Vie Boheme at the top of his lungs into the nearest theater available*>

*That's a stage theater for all you thick skulled type that seem to inhabit this thread. You know the kind where they put on plays? Yeah that kind.

To wit, the boundaries of fruitiness to swollen-ball-manliness is a fine line.  I'm an Army vet, a lifelong martial artist, and can play most of "Ride the Lightning," on guitar, yes.  This is all true.  But I also love to cook (I make a delightful potato crust salmon), enjoy fine wine, and tivo Project Runway.  Such strange contradictions, us men.

True enough. 

But I am a yin/yang of tough to fruity.  I remember one 24 hour period where I got a pedicure, fought in a Jiu Jitsu tournament,  shot a lever action 30/30 at the gun range, and then came home and made broccoli soup.

Actually, yes it was.

Lots of fighters get pedicures mainly to reduce transmission of bacteria and fungus on the mats.  Getting ringworm in your cudicle really sucks.

Dude, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and MMA in general are only now, after many, many years, being considered by anyone as anything resembling classy.

I started in BJJ in 97 coming from a Kung Fu and JKD background.  When the UFC got the cable ban in 97, the sport went way way underground.  I was at a Neutral Grounds event in 99 in the old Hollywood Athletic Club.  It was billed as a "pro wrestling" event so the police wouldn't shut us down.  After a decision in one of the fights that the crowd didnt agree with, there was a near riot in the place.  My buddy who was fighting got pegged in the head with a glass bottle.

When I was shooting my MMA Documentary, I had to drive 3 hours to whatever Indian Reservation the fight was being held (again, tribal ground was outside of regular law enforcements jurisdiction) and film fighters getting paid as low as 500 dollars for a main event. 

This is all without even mentioning when I tried showing the uninitiated my own jiu jitsu matches, I was often met with giggles and pedestrian gay jokes..  My money move is a Gogo Plata which in no small way resembles my pulling my opponents head towards my junk.  My current school used to be located in West Hollywood and we had no shortage of drag queens making comments whenever we rolled. 

The fact that I knew Charles and Dan from Tapout clothing in 99, and now I see every douchebag wearing it is a serious trip.

Last edited by Eddie (2010-05-22 00:37:17)

My point exactly.  When you feel your arm cracking or yourself slowly going unconscious from a choke, you're not thinking about how funny it looks that a dudes crotch is in your face.  But from the outside...I get how it looks.

Well sure, but the thing is that even though MMA in a lot of ways was born from pro wrestling, now it's regulated and respected and the guys are all tested and taken care of and paid well.  Wrestling even at the very top is still a very shady, carny thing.  They call their employees "independent contractors" and then don't let them work anywhere else, just as an excuse to not give them ANY benefits.  There's been two or three attempts at starting a wrestler's union in the past and every single person involved was blackballed from the industry.  TNA has a drug testing policy but doesn't punish those that fail tests (and their test results are private).  WWE has a testing policy too, but suspiciously only the lower card guys ever get dinged for them.

And pay is even worse.  Top level independent stars will travel across the country for 75-200 bucks.   And the WWE guys aren't even making as much as you might think, since almost all of them are paying for their own transportation, hotels, health insurance, and all that sort of thing.  A lot of them aren't cracking six figures, and they're international stars.

I ain't denying you saw the crazy wild west scummy days of MMA back when nobody off the street knew a peruvian necktie from a crazy deep throating technique, but at least now they know being in one sucks.  When I'm getting powerbombed, not ONLY do they point out that it looks like I'm rubbing my sack in a dude's face, but they also insist it doesn't hurt.

tl;dr version: Eddie, teach me to kickpunch.

Last edited by Kyle (2010-05-22 00:48:59)

Matt Morgan.  Now there's a man.  They actually blew his DNA into space (with a rocket, not his dick) so that if any aliens stumble across it, they'll know what an ideal human looks like.

It seriously doesn't get any more credibly manly than that.

Speaking of early wrestling/mma stuff, have you ever seen the Muhammad Ali/Antonio Inoki fight?

Last edited by Kyle (2010-05-22 01:34:15)

I'd be pretty useless hand to hand, but give me a dialed in M16 and I bet I can still hit a target at 300 Meters.