I first met Mike in prison when I was 27 and he was 8. The first thing he did was come straight up to me and punch me in the face. That was uncalled for, and I said so, but Big Sal said that since Mike was only 8, I was the biggest guy he could conceivably take. That seemed unfair at the time, because I was like 138th out of 192 in ranking on the cell block and most of the guys below me were old-timers and Wee Wendel, who was a dwarf with no legs, so I was like "What is he even in for?" and they said "Wire fraud" which is pigeon shit, but they said impersonating a member of Congress for the purpose of obtaining free postage privileges was even more pigeon shit. So he became like mascot of the cell block, and I became 139th out of 193 EVEN THO I BAKED BROWNIES FOR EVERYONE WHICH SHOULD COUNT FOR SOMETHING.
Anyway, we lost touch after he made parole, and it was nice to catch up to him on the Friends in Your Head forum, even tho he pretends those days in Manatee County Jail never happened, let alone those day trips to Cockroach Bay Aquatic Preserve and that crazy plan we hatched to catch alligators and ride them past Dung Islet, thru Hole in the Wall Pass, beyond Snake Key, and up the coast thru Little Cockroach Bay to overnight on Negro Island and then on to freedom after going around Goat Island to the Devil's Elbow to get to Paradise Mobile Home Court.
But we never did it because he had this crazy notion to go SOUTH to Bishop Harbor, overnight on a nameless islet in Hell's Half Acre, slip into Tuberculosis Bay, steal a camper from Frog Creek Campground to get to Honor Thy Pet Cremation Services, because he had an uncle that worked there, and then what? Drive north on Tamiani Trail RIGHT PAST MANATEE COUNTY JAIL?! That's bullshit.
Last edited by Zarban (2014-10-02 02:23:01)
Warning: I'm probably rewriting this post as you read it.Zarban's House of Commentaries