Topic: Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012) review by Jimmy B (mild spoilers)

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Director: Matthias Hoene           Screenwriters: James Moran, Lucas Roche
Cast: Rasmus Hardiker, Harry Treadaway, Michelle Ryan, Alan Ford, Honor Blackman, Richard Briers


Plot: When their beloved Grandad's old folk's home faces closure, brothers Andy and Terry decide to rob a bank to get the cash to save it. Little do they know, though, a couple of inept construction workers have found a cursed tomb that unleashes a zombie plague that soon makes it way through London. Eventually, the brothers have to make their way across town to rescue their grandad and the near-dead from the undead.

Review: Let's get it out of the way from the off- Cockneys Vs Zombies is a bloody stupid title. It's one of those titles that makes you roll your eyes and instantly think the film that follows is a crappy spoof or laugh-free 'comedy'. The fart joke that hits at the two minute mark does very little to quench those fears but once a dude gets his bottom lip ripped off three minutes later, you realise just what kind of ride you are in for.  Hardiker and Treadaway play the brothers and quite good they are too. Hardiker is Terry, the smart one and Treadaway is Andy, the not so smart hot-head and they are joined by one time Doctor Who ‘companion’ Ryan as their sexy and smarter cousin Katy. The real stars of the show, though are the OAPs which includes former Bond Girl Blackman and UK TV comedy legend Richard Briers who very nearly steals the show as Hamish. Especially when he is involved in the slowest chase scene ever committed to film complete with action music.

There are problems, of course, a couple of the emotional beats don't hit and there are two, count 'em, two potential antagonists that basically go nowhere and are dispatched quite quickly. This means whatever tension there may be vanishes quickly as it really just becomes 'kill the zombies'. Some good ideas fall flat (a character has a steel plate in his head.....) and a romance comes out of nowhere towards the end but I'm willing to give it a pass for being so fun. Especially the scenes at the retirement home, they are a blast. Also, it’s as subtle as drop-kicking a zombie baby that hits a ‘stop child abuse’ billboard but it has enough funny moments to keep you going for 88 minutes. Like the aforementioned zombie baby abuse.

Conclusion: A fun and at times bloody low budget Brit-flick that has some great tongue in cheek performances, Cockney Vs Zombies while not quite up to the likes of Shaun of the Dead is still worth a watch. Sadly, like Attack the Block before it, people avoided this at UK cinemas but hopefully, like the aforementioned Muggers Vs Aliens film, this will fair a bit better on DVD/Blu Ray.

3/5

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Re: Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012) review by Jimmy B (mild spoilers)

Say no more! Say no more! I'm all arseholes and elbows! Flibber me gibbet, gov'nor!

Warning: I'm probably rewriting this post as you read it.

Zarban's House of Commentaries

Re: Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012) review by Jimmy B (mild spoilers)

Yeah, there's a bit of that going on. There's actually a running gag about one of the pensioners being bad at rhyming slang big_smile

Silly English and their nonsense talk...........

(joking my English friends, we talk a load of shite too, at least rhyming slang had a purpose smile )

Last edited by Jimmy B (2012-10-24 01:53:52)

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Re: Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012) review by Jimmy B (mild spoilers)

Jimmy you burke! =P

Extended Edition - 146 - The Rise Of Skywalker
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Re: Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012) review by Jimmy B (mild spoilers)

Jimmy B wrote:

Especially when he is involved in the slowest chase scene ever committed to film complete with action music.

A bit of preview of Indiana Jones 5 then?

not long to go now...

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Re: Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012) review by Jimmy B (mild spoilers)

Faldor wrote:

Jimmy you burke! =P

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q6aOvLyYSfM/UDAVc4VJSrI/AAAAAAAAAHw/sYJ_WTzdylw/s1600/AliensBurke.jpg

? big_smile

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Re: Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012) review by Jimmy B (mild spoilers)

http://markohanlon.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/db_berk51.jpg

Extended Edition - 146 - The Rise Of Skywalker
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