Topic: So I watched The Normal Heart. And I'm angry.
(Disclaimer: this is a personal post. I don't know why I'm posting it. I just had to tell someone, and there's no one around.)
The Normal Heart (2014)
This is not a review. If you want a film review, I guess I could say that it's an emotionally shattering piece carried by outstanding performances, and it beautifully adapts what is a fierce and important play.
But I don't want to critically examine this movie. I want to cry for a few more hours, because maybe then I won't be able to cry anymore and I can finally get some sleep.
This film made me angry. I hear that angry people usually run to the internet, so here I am.
I'm angry because I loathe to see people do nothing. I loathe to see people in power do nothing, while small communities rally to do anything and everything. I loathe to see people need help and be denied it. And I loathe to see people be treated as less than human.
The moment that really stabbed me through the heart was this description of what happened after an HIV-related death (before we knew it was HIV).
"The hospital doctors refused to examine him to put a cause of death on the death certificate, and without a death certificate the undertakers wouldn't take him away, and neither would the police. Finally, some orderly comes in and stuffs Albert in a heavy-duty Glad Bag and motions us with his finger to follow and he puts him out in the back alley with the garbage. He says, "Hey, man. See what a big favor I've done for you, I got him out, I want fifty bucks."
It's an affront to human dignity and it pisses me off.
When the film ended, I kept crying. I'm still crying. It's not just about the movie, either.
My best friend is really sick. I saw her today, and she's practically translucent, and her sweater clung to her rib cage, and the doctors still don't know what's wrong with her.
I am terrified. I can't tell her how terrified I am. I'm angry that there is nothing I can do.
The prevailing sentiment of the HIV/AIDS crisis, especially in the beginning, was "Why will no one help us?"
It's so much easier not to care. I wish I didn't care. I wish I didn't care so goddamn much because it's hard, and it hurts, and sometimes you fight for the things and the people you care about, and you lose. It is so much more onerous than the alternative. And yet, I still have to believe it is the better choice.
I think The Normal Heart is one of those movies that you should see, you know, as a human being. For me, at least, it was cathartic. I got to cry without having to explain myself to anyone.
I hope it makes you angry. I hope it breaks your heart. It made me inescapably aware of my humanness, and of all the virtues and flaws inextricably tied to that.
tl;dr The Normal Heart should be required viewing for all humans and I am very angry about the HIV-AIDS crisis. Among other things.