Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Keep piling on that weight! Thanks for the update. I was in the NHS system a couple of years ago - best health service in the world. Whatever your decision, you're in good hands.

not long to go now...

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

I am inclined to agree being that I trust them with my life (a touch over-dramatic... maybe). I have to doff my cap to the nurses - elbow deep in peoples piss, shit and blood daily, and most do it with a smile. It takes a certain kind of person to do the job they do and it's not something I think I could do. They are legends, and their staying chipper, no matter the situation, makes the whole thing a lot more tolerable.

As an update;  the surgery I was trying to avoid, will be next week at some point. I've lost weight the last three weighings and staving off surgery was conditional on gaining it. If they seen that my health/weight plateaus or declines they are more encouraged to operate. It would have been sooner but the surgeon assigned to me has gone on holiday. The NHS must be paying well... lols. At this point, I just want it done - lets get this ball rolling. The sooner the better so I can move past this chapter and eat solid food again. *Sigh*

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Being forced into some major operation by one's own body is the kind of nightmare I have yet to encounter.

(Winter is coming, I know.)

At least you got to hit the snooze button for a minute, I guess? Bought a bit of time for mental preparation.

...

Eh. No. It just sucks.

In any case, it does sound like you've got your head screwed-on straight about it, so that's something good.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

It has been decided. Surgery on Wednesday.

My bed was ambushed by a gaggle of surgeons. The slicker one of the swaddle? did all the talking while the others loomed-imposingly. The slick one declared, and with such conviction, that I wasn't sure that it wasn't scripted. "It's going to be an open surgery. That means we will have to cut you open and not the proposed keyhole surgery. It will be a vertical opening...". at this point, he made the gesture of unzipping a zip the lengh of his stomach. "We will remove the infected Crohns part of the bowel. We will fit an Ileostomy until your health improves and we have the disease under control. Then somewhere down the line, we will reverse the Ileostomy."

So that's the plan. I am to be gutted come Wednesday. Literally and figuratively. I feel like I am just about to reach the top of the roller coaster, filled with anticipation and anxiety, and peaking over the crest screaming 'everything is gonna be okay'. Which it will. And no doubt, in six months.... to years... (to possibly never...) have the Crohns under control and the Ileostomy reversed, I will look back at this thread and laugh. With a glass of gin, laugh. With a glass of gin and a medium rare steak, laugh. Baby steps. It all depends what they find in the surgery. 'Nothing's a guarantee', I keep being told though I keep asking for them. Lets just get the show on the road so I can move past this speed bump.

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

This post contained oodles and oodles of information, and I appreciated every word of it.

Have you ever had surgery before? General anesthesia, etc.?

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

I had my tonsils out as a kid and was under a general anesthetic but all I remember of that is the 'magic cream' they put on the back of my hand and being told to count back from ten. Which, yeah I never got far counting back. Four weeks ago when I finaly dragged myself to the GP who sent me straight to hospital -- 11pm that night; I had a general anesthetic to have a drain fitted-cut open the abscess and stuck in what looks like a hand full of drinking straws-poking out and dribbling blood and puss into a bag glued to my abdomen. They've since removed the straw things, which were super uncomfortable, and I'm left with the fistula hole about 2 inches wide in the area where my appendix is. It's still dribbling periodically into a bag on my abdomen. P.S. The bags suck. Fuckers keep leaking and I end up with puss and blood filling my crotch. But they are the only times.

Other than that, I had skin grafts on my feet 'cos I burnt them; that's a story for another day. 'Gromit's' or you guys might call them 'tubes' put in my ears but I cant remember if I was knocked out for those (crafty anesthetists). A few stitches on my knee from playing 'blind mans buff' and fell down an open manhole that no one warned me about. A piece of fiberglass removed from my eyeball from touring a biscuit making factory. And plastic surgery on my ear lobes 'cos I had flesh tunnels and one split but I was awake for that. Some asthma, a few broken bones and a period of chronic migraines rounds out my medical history. [EDIT] Now with the addition of Crohns.

When I was lying on the bed in the anesthetists room, and may I say that it's awfully odd to be then handed the consent form and being asked 'do you know what is about to happen to you', right before they pump you full of drugs and send you off to cloud cuckoo land, I thought they were trying to kill me. One held a mask over my mouth and asked me to basically hypoxiate (is that a word? *shrugs*) myself by taking giant panic breaths while another injected something into a canula with a comedy sized needle and another gripped my wind pipe. I was worried it wasn't gonna work and ZZzzzzzzzzzzz The easy way! I woke up 2am on the recovery ward. I have sketchy memories of that. Drifting in and out of consciousness. Some disembodied voice saying my name and asking if I'm okay. A few morphines later I was on a different ward and being asked if I would like a cup of tea and some biscuits. I'd say that that might be the best cup of tea I've ever had but I'm reserving that title for when I I'm not on a water and Modulen only diet. Lets just get this done and over with already so I can have that cup of tea.

Last edited by Regan (2019-04-08 18:28:03)

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

He's just dropped me a message to say he's out of surgery and waiting for sensation to return to his legs.

Presumably in the back of a pussy wagon.

Extended Edition - 144 Detective Pikachu
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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

in the ICU mainly for observations and the epidural. The epidural didnt work and only effects my legs and not much of my bowel. so they pumped a hell of lot more in. Means im in agoney and cant feel or move my legs. Its a horrifying thing straining with your mind to wiggle your big toe/ legs and nothing happens. They removed a lot more than the first planned of my bowel cos it was i flamed.not gonna lie. This painful. Aaarrgg.

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Hang in there bud. You'll be done with this whole thing soon.

Sébastien Fraud
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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Been thinking of you all day, mate. The only way is up from here!

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

REGAN.

HOLY GOD.

I'm so sorry about the pain. I hate uncontrollable pain.

I can't imagine how much this has sucked.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Aaaagh, that is the worst. Get better so you can wreak your vengeance on epidural administrators everywhere.

Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Owen_Ward wrote:

The only way is up from here!

That's what his doctor said.

amirite.

k.

Sébastien Fraud
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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Cheers chaps. I have to say I'm quite miserable. Ive found the limits of keeping a stiff upper lip and that's drug induced paralysis. One good thing about the ICU, my glass room becomes opaque at the touch of a button. Its sort of like a Westworld set inn white. Am I a robot? Why would they make me to feel pain? Lols.I should really stop being a misery guts wink

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Oh no, the Reganbot has become self aware. Once it realises the true extent of its power, all of humanity will be doomed!

Fun fact: Circa 1999/2000, some guy on AIM tried to convince me that I was a robot and posted everything as a series of chat transcripts to his Geocities site.

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Is that you, Z?

Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.

Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

I cannot afford to fly to the UK and spend a week making dick jokes in a hospital room right now.

I just... cannot afford it. In terms of money or time.

But, dude — seriously — I'd be there in a heartbeat if I could. I'd literally book a flight and literally book a hotel and literally spend a week hanging out and making dick jokes in that room, and it's driving me insane that I can't.

My heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you're going through this. Lemme know if there's anything I (or we) can do.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

We don't envy what you're going through! Hang in there bud!

Did any of you catch Operation Live (re: Right Hemi-Colectomy) on Channel 5 late last year? Jaw-dropping operation. Still available if you know where to look. There's a preview here...
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/ … ramme.html

not long to go now...

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Im out intensive care. Im high as a kite, but thaks you gys. Ill update later better wen I'm not in super slow mode and flying. Thanks

Last edited by Regan (2019-04-13 18:33:32)

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Hell yeah! High! Good!

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

5 weeks in hospital.
5 weeks in stockings (DVT stockings)
5 days in intensive care.
3 different hospital wards.
3 CT scans.
1 diagnosis of Crohn's disease.
1 bout of sepsis.
2 Surgeries.
5 Surgeons.
1 Bowel Specialist.
2 Dietitians.
2 Physiotherapists.
2 feet of bowel removed.
20 centimetre vertical scar on my belly with-
20 staples.
1 abscess-fistulating with drain fitted
1 Ileostomy
3 days with an epidural oopsy induced paralysis that only worked on my legs.
2 days of being 'Nil By Mouth'.
A never ending liquid diet/a gajillion scoops of Modulen. (Fuck Modulen)
Uncountable 'sharp scratch'-es (injections).
Unrecordable amount of vials of blood taken.
1 flock of heavenly nurses. (NHS: please pay them well, they deserve it)
1 'Nurse Ratchet' type Sister on the ward.
Ones dignity... depleted
The ratio of 'People who have seen my junk to not' has seen considerable changes.
All of the pain killers. ALL OF THEM.

Monetary cost to the NHS... considerable.
Monetary cost to me... none.

~Bed baths included free of charge

Last edited by Regan (2019-04-16 17:21:09)

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

SOLID FOOOOOOOOOD! YES!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...well to this first part of the process. I have to admit, and most probably down to the epidural drugs making me super emotional in the ICU, I couldn't see an end to all this. It's the lowest I think I've ever felt. But being back on the ward and eating solid food and drinking all the cups of tea - ALL OF THEM, I feel fantastic. Though, I'm still getting used to having 2 feet of my guts being removed and I'm a bit iffy on my feet. The evil physiotherapists are kicking my butt getting that sorted though. The only thing keeping me in hospital now is getting my weight and strength back up, being able to walk up stairs ('cos I live in an upstairs flat) and being signed off by the Ileostomy team after proving I can cope with it by myself. Then, I'm home bound. Woooooooooo.

If all goes well, some time down the line, an ileostomy reversal. This is providing that the Crohns has died down and doesn't flare back up. Then, normality... ish. I'm gonna have a life of keeping the Crohn's in check. Either, and this is how I intend on going, drug free and regular tests to make sure it doesn't flare up (and a return of Modulen) or, a series of steroids which have their own issues and side effects to deal with. At least, I should be home soon.

Edition: the meal replacement isn't completely gone... the dietitian is having me drink this high energy high calorie Fortijuce stuff but since I weigh 48 kilograms I'm not gonna argue with him.

Last edited by Regan (2019-04-16 18:31:23)

Hurroo

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Very excited!

Witness me!

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

I had another kidney stone a couple weeks ago, so I went to the ER. They gave me a CT scan — "yep: I see a dot; he's not lying" — pushed two doses of some opioid into my IV, and gave me five hydrocodones for home.

After insurance, my bill was $4,000 — or £3,063.

...

Meanwhile, this guy.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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Re: Thread for Regan To Be Embarrassed About Later

Also:

REGAN IS NEW REGAN. PREPARE FOR NEW REGAN.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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