Now I feel bad for trying to be funny instead of helpful. Sad-face emoticon.

Speaking as a consumer — NOT A PAID ENDORSEMENT — I have to say that the last one of these was really surprisingly easy. You go to that there page Teague just linked and sign in with either your Twitter name, your Facebook name or an arbitrary nickname. Then there's picture and sound, and it's surprisingly good quality for what it is.

It's Flash, though, so you have to have that in order to play.

Heh hem. Scroll up slightly.

Now read what I wrote.

Also, if I were gonna refer to celebrities by a neuter pronoun, it'd have to be "they." Cause boobies come in pairs.

At the risk of sounding condescending, it entertained me. Again, I'm not saying it was great. I'm not even going so far as to say it was objectively good. But I preferred the experience of watching it to the experience of watching, say, "300." No accounting for taste, I guess.

I do not, however, remember anything about the advertising. Maybe I'd be right there with you if I did.

I agree with every word in that sentence except "unforgivably." Again, recall that I didn't pay money to watch it. I probably would have been harder-assed if I had.

See, we're in opposite places on that, I think. I have no quarrel with "The Sixth Sense," but I didn't think it was as good as "Unbreakable." The fact that I have never seen "The Sixth Sense" again except for that once in the theater and that I own and re-watch "Unbreakable" regularly if not exactly often sums up, I think, the difference in my opinions. Neither sucks, but I prefer one decisively.

I failed to keep score as well as I should have, but I think it broke down like this:

Teague: right.

Everybody else: wrong.

"Synecdoche, New York" is, at the very least, a good movie. It might be a great movie. I'm not sure. I saw it months ago and I'm still processing it.

Okay, so, here's the thing.

I do like it. I honestly and truly do. But at the same time, saying I'm gonna like it just makes me want to dislike it out of spite.

We're beyond the looking glass here, people.

Also, my date for tonight canceled on me at the last minute, so HI I AM COME TO ANNOY YOU ALL.

Yawn.

Brian, my friend from another time zone. The theme of the show was "What is it that makes us — rather than them, whoever them happens to be — worthy of survival?"

The finale answered that question this way: "Learn from your mistakes."

I will let you slide if you say you just don't buy that, for whatever reason. But to deny that that's what was going on, when the writers practically tattooed that question and answer on the actors' foreheads, would be tough for me to accept.

Oi.

I will not stand for Battlestar badmouthing.

Quibble with it all you like, but (a) in the context of its time and (b) taken as a body of work, that shit was tight.

Yeah, it's kind of been their thing.

You know who had really really good episode titles? Battlestar Galactica.

Well, I haven't watched that episode in a long time, but I don't really recall it being that narrowly defined. The Mythbusters guys tend to take a pretty holistic approach to their premises. As I recall, it was more along the lines of, "Could a ninja really have done that shit?" Not, like, in his back yard with a lot of preparation and practice, but in a setting where it would actually mean something.

Basically, we now have scientific proof that ninjas are pussies.

Karen Gillan. Google her up if you like, but pictures don't do her justice. She's got this eyebrow twitch thing that just drips sex.

My comments on the Transformers films (and Batman Begins, on which I don't think I've yet had flimsy pretense to pontificate here) notwithstanding, I'm pretty forgiving of stupidity in movies. Maybe it's because I'm just not very smart myself, but if I'm sitting in a theater engrossed in a story, absurdity has a decent chance of flying right past me unnoticed.

But my thing with Surrogates was that it just wasn't a very good movie. It wasn't interesting or exciting, and at no point did I care that much what happened next. I've seen safety videos on airplanes that were more captivating.

I've got more love in my heart for a film that deeply offends or infuriates me than I do for one that fails to engage my emotions at all. After I watched Surrogates I popped in my DVD of Episode II just so I could feel something again.