I dare you, sir, I dare you, to name a single motion picture with a more finely crafted, more sublimely executed SOTRY.

Cause you can't.

Dude. "Hackers." It'd be perfect.

*snicker*

I think there's a word I don't know, or if there's not, there ought to be.

You know how sometimes you meet a chick (or a dude, for those of you into that) and you just really wanna nail her (or him, and here my white liberal male heteronormative guilt ends, so sort out the pronouns for yourself), and it's all physical attraction and hormones?

And then other times you maybe aren't viscerally attracted to a chick, but she's just really interesting and smart and she makes you think and even if you can't ever really see yourself hooking up with her, you just kinda wanna sit and talk with her all night?

I think that post made me feel that way about Teague. Only, y'know, not like boy-girl. Or … see, this is where there oughta be a word.

Good on you, son. Well said.

I used to wonder whether truly smart, truly thoughtful people can ever be truly happy all, or even most of, the time.

After what Teague said, though … I'm starting to wonder if he's smart or thoughtful. Cause being happy all the time just ain't natural

Pff. I don't have time for your Internet nonsense anyway. I'm a very important person. I carry typewritten papers in a sack, and I have a special hat that I wear.

Now I'm off to sit in cars with girls!

Cham-paggen?

It was Ray Charles' version of "Old Man River" that did it for you, wasn't it?

Has it been enough pages since I suggested "Joe vs. the Volcano" that I can bring it up again?

(Actually I don't remember if I ever suggested "Joe vs. the Volcano." I just know I intend to keep doing it as often as I think I can get away with it.)

Oh yeah! That's a really good example. I ignored it when it was in theaters 'cause I thought it was Tarantino being Tarantino, but watching it at home I found it to be a very different film from what I expected.

I think that movie worked for me despite Tarantino, but that's another conversation.

You have one seriously messed-up love live, Fig. These are my actual first five songs on my actual Monday morning playlist:

1. "Ride," Liz Phair
2. "Johnny Appleseed," Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros
3. "Sugar Free Jazz," Soul Coughing
4. "Beautiful Day," U2
5. "Guerilla Radio, Rage Against the Machine

Top five animal or child sidekicks in the movies.

Either fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, the basement of the West Wing looks nothing like what was depicted on TV. It's really boring offices.

The Oval Office is a hell of a lot smaller in person than on TV, too. I don't know whether it's an optical illusion or whether they built the set bigger; I've never been on an Oval Office set in person.