Doh. I didn't even think to check if Netflix had it on instant.

And as for the Mac thing Mister Smuggy Guy, I watch Netflix stuff on my MacBook Pro and on my iPad all the damn time, so suck on it.

Okay, so this is awkward.

See, some years back I mined my own first-love experience for a book I was writing. I mean I changed the names and everything, and made up this whole plot to go around it, but the hook was the story of my first love, and I turned it into this big stupid thing.

So now here I am trying to tell the real story of what really happened, only I keep wanting to quote my own best lines of dialogue from the story I wrote.

It's frustrating as hell.

So I'll just say this. Her name was Lauren, and she was perfect, and I loved her from afar until I couldn't any more. Also there was a guy named Greg involved, and he was a dick. He's probably really fat now. Like morbidly obese. Like one of those people you see on TLC where the firemen have to chainsaw out a chunk of wall the size of a swimming pool so they can forklift them out of the house and drive them off to the hospital in a special ambulance with a reinforced suspension. Yeah, he's probably totally like one of those people now. I hope.

(I told the story better when I was pretending it was somebody else's.)

Not personally. But it was just this past weekend that I listened to the fxguide podcast he did with Mike Seymour last fall.

(I'm totally just assuming it's the same Zap. How many Master Zaps could there be?)

There are two ways to convert from God's frame rate — 24p — to PAL. You can either run the show through a hardware standards converter that does a frame-rate conversion without altering the total running time, or you can just conform the playback rate, which has the effect of shortening the film by about two and a half seconds per hour.

Maybe they're doing more of the former for Blu Ray and less of the latter?

</tv_nerd>

Always? I thought I remembered hearing you'd done roadshows.

Either way, drinking game yes, overdoing it no, live show yes, pictures of you and Brian and Dorkman gettin' it on hells yes.

Any other polls being taken at the moment? I'm feeling opinionated.

I'm put in mind of … oh, god, which one was it. There was one commentary where it sounded like you, Teague, were really gonna be hurting in the morning. Princess Bride, maybe? I can't remember now.

Whichever it was, it was a fifty-fifty split between really funny and "wow, I hope he's okay."

THREEWAY. NOW. POST PICS.

(Hey, your forum cleverly rejects any posts that are entirely in capital letters. I will temper my enthusiasm with a parenthetical, then.)

Aw, man. I was hoping they'd keep yelling at each other louder and louder until finally they'd pause, out of breath, and then kiss.

Really? I really liked the whole in medias res thing, I guess because it didn't scream "hey look we're trying to start a franchise."

Until you get to the end of the third one, where Trillian gets all serious and philosophical. And then the fourth one is a drama with a tearjerker ending, and in the fifth one everyone dies.

But up to that point? Hilarious!

EDIT: Oh, but Bill Nighy as Slartibartfast was pretty great. Quibble all you want with everything else in the movie, but I thought he was just perfect.

Like one and a half. I'm tempted to say one, but I can't because it was still better than Transformers 2.

I think it's Roger Ebert who says that his base criterion for judging a film is whether watching it is a more worthwhile experience than staring at a blank screen for the same length of time. By that metric, I'd say 300 failed.