I would love to hear the thought process of anybody who thinks the Kill Bill things were films period, much less the best of anything.

Just for the record, I was only being a wiseass.

"Most of?" That choice of words seems kinda conspicuous.

I think "this was not the movie I expected or wanted" can be a legitimate criticism. Everybody has his or her own reasons for liking or disliking things, and that one's as good as any.

"They changed it now it sucks," on the other hand, is not a legitimate criticism. There's gotta be a "because" in there someplace.

Is it just me, or does that stuff totally smell like cucumbers?

Or so I've … to hell with it. Or so I've smelled.

Oh! HA! I GET IT!

We now return you to our regularly scheduled riff, already in progress.

So I says to Teague I says, "There are several over-the-counter creams that'll clear that right up. Also, use a fresh razor blade for god's sake."

I'm somehow tickled by the prospect that I got there first.

Lemme see. The one in question was my age minus a year or two, so she'd be in her mid-30s now. Sound familiar?

Be it funny or chauvinistic, I bet they'd all be flattered to know we still think of them.

Your pokemons will beat my pokemons, I'm sure. (Is that how you say it? I am aware of, but unfamiliar with, the whole pokephenomenon.)

The one I'm thinking of was about five four, black hair down to her ass, and if she was a hundred pounds I'll eat my shoe. Just on this side of the slender-bony divide. Cute enough, I guess, in a conventional way, but beyond that for reasons I couldn't explain even then she just charmed the hell out of me.

And that was before I learned … the things I learned about her. Oh yes. There were things.

Of course, that was also back when I could keep up with her, so y'know, it worked. Until I got stupid and started treating her like crap all the time. I'm not sure which of us I was ultimately more annoyed at: me, for being a right jerk, or her for letting me get away with it as long as I did.

My most recent ex emailed me a few months back. She was in town for the weekend and wanted to get together. Fortunately I had the flu, so I was saved the trouble of figuring out what "I'd love to see you" meant.

You're a very attractive young man. All the girls must surely swoon for you.

That girlfriend, by the way? The one from that summer? The one who went commando? I googled her not that long ago. She's married now.

I wonder if she lets her husband do all those things she let me do…

I was 19 years old. I had a beat-up horseshit-brown Toyota station wagon, a girlfriend who never wore underwear, and Pretty Hate Machine on cassette tape.

It was a good summer.

Yeah, I sussed out the meaning eventually, but I think it's a sort of testament to the kind of day I've had that it took some time.

I haven't listened to the new track yet, but I saw it on Twitter earlier and meant to, and now's a perfect time. Off I go.

And now I'm back. I'm really glad I listened to that; it's great. It reminds me of something, but I'm having a really hard time figuring out what.