1,676

(208 replies, posted in Episodes)

Based on the events in the movie, apparently all you have to do is stand in one spot for more than thirty seconds and someone will give you command of the Enterprise.   Most likely as they're headed out the door at a full run.   Aieee, YOU do it! 

As I said earlier, that struck me as amusingly odd from my very first viewing of the movie - it's like being captain is cancerous or something.  Hell, we even see TWO people voluntarily submit themselves to certain death at Nero's hands rather than stay in that chair.

Starfleet in general seems awfully lax about a lot of rules - I agree that the whole Bones-sneaking-Kirk-aboard injection scene, while kinda funny and slapstick, is also clearly court martial bait.

But even with all that, I have to say that I didn't find it outlandish that Kirk got the captain job.   Of course that's not how it works under normal military protocol, but there is such a thing as a battlefield promotion, even in our era.   

There are even such things as battlefield commissions, in which enlisted men become instant officers as a result of heroism or circumstance, without ever spending a day in OCS.     And the movie shows us plenty of hints that Starfleet is in *ahem* a bit of disarray that day.     

There's the additional wrinkle that Kirk finds out from Old Spock that he MUST become the captain, and has to do it sooner than he might have otherwise.  So he's got motivation to grab the chair however he can get it. 

It's also implied that when the crisis has passed, Kirk still keeps the job at least partly due to the behind-the-scenes machinations of Old Spock.

Again, while the details can be quibbled about, the general spirit is very original Trek - those guys were always breaking the rules left and right, it's just that they kept saving the galaxy by doing it and so Starfleet tended to look the other way.  Crazy kids.

1,677

(208 replies, posted in Episodes)

DorkmanScott wrote:
maul2 wrote:

So I guess in the end, I can ask, what makes you think you know what makes Trek, Trek, than a man who has had a key role in making Trek, Trek?

...If you understand why this is a bad argument for SW, you understand why this is a bad argument for ST. If you think this is a valid argument for SW, then I have nothing to say to you.

Actually, it's not quite the same, and in fact the analogy between the decline of SW and ST is pretty darn valid, because it's the same reason.

Original Trek and Wars both were created by guys who had enjoyed some success but were still struggling to make a buck in showbiz.  They both acquired just barely enough clout to get to make a project that they really wanted to make, and lo and behold, both projects became This Huge Thing.

Cut to: decades later and both Huge Things got rebooted, with the original guys still in charge.   Which sounds great, except both those guys had become wealthy and complacent and both of those Huge Things had acquired decades of baggage from all the movies and books and merchandise that had been spawned.   

So now neither of those guys were trying to craft a piece of entertainment - they had become the caretakers of The Huge Thing That Was Beloved By Millions And Was Really Important And Meaningful And Stuff.

I've never been in that position, but I can see how that could really screw up a person's judgment.

Star Trek soldiered on for years with Roddenberry at the helm of all the various permutations, and then after his death it was continued further by People Who Had Known Roddenberry And Would Continue His Vision Faithfully.   

By the time it finally died a merciful death with Enterprise, the darn thing had simply grown too big and complicated and beholden to its own history to actually DO anything.

But then, after a suitable period of mourning, somebody else got handed the Star Trek franchise and did exactly the right thing - cherrypicked the tastiest bits from its corpse and set up a new version that quite literally said "All that stuff you're clinging to from all those old versions, the stuff that's stopped Star Trek from trying anything new for decades?  Well, it's a new timeline now, so THAT STUFF NEVER HAPPENED."   

Which, I gotta say, was pretty much a genius idea.    Otherwise Star Trek would still be a grey whale laying on a beach, feebly waving its flippers because that's all it can do.

Now, I'm not saying that George Lucas has to die...

but...

... wouldn't it be kinda awesome if somebody else got a shot at doing the same for Star Wars?     What if somebody (not just anybody, it'd have to be somebody talented, obviously) got to grab hold of Star Wars and shake the dust off it,  strip it back down to what made it successful in the first place, and then send it off in a new direction, freed of all that baggage it's dragging now...

well...

I think that might be pretty keen.

1,678

(208 replies, posted in Episodes)

maul2 wrote:

I find it interesting that one of the original cast members and someone who has seen and had a large part in the formation of this franchise, seems to like the movie, yet the fanboys can't seem to get to get it together.

This is why I wish in retrospect that I'd been in the room after all.   'Cause I was a Trek Fanboy before any of y'all and I agree with Nimoy that Abrams' Trek put the franchise back on course after a regrettable (and lengthy) detour.

So Brian - it's not that the movie itself is perfect.  Oh no no, it's absolutely full of plotholes and inexplicable character motivations  (I'm looking at YOU, Nero).   

Brief aside:  My personal fave is when Old Spock finally emerges from the wormhole and Nero tells Lackey #1 "Oh, we're not going to KILL him" and Lackey seems surprised.  Really?  In 25 years the topic of "what are we gonna do when Spock gets here" just never came up?

It also cracks me up that apparently nobody wants to command a starship - how many times does somebody get handed command and then toss it to someone else as fast as possible - ten, fifteen times?   It could be a drinking game.   

Tho I do wonder if  that was deliberate.  It might have been an intentional setup  so when Kirk finally says (in essence) "Geez, you pansies - I'm practically an Academy washout but if none of you want the job then I'll frickin' do it" and takes the chair, it makes us in the audience think, "finally, somebody who'll DO the job for a change".

Aside over.

No, the argument I would have made - and will make here in truncated form - is that all your complaints that "this isn't Star Trek" are invalid.    Because it actually IS Star Trek, and what YOU think is Star Trek, isn't. 

The simplest and clearest analogy is Star Wars, and really, it's exactly the same scenario.    There was a franchise that I loved, and decades later there was joyous news that it was going to be revived.  And then when I saw what they had done to it, I was appalled.     They threw out everything fun about the original, kept all the lame boring parts and made them the focus of the whole thing.

That's right, you heard me.  Star Trek: Next Generation is The Phantom Menace.   

And just like Phantom Menace, we original fans complained like holy hell - but you goddam kids just ate that crap right up and insisted it was good.

So lemme tell YOU what Star Trek is.   Star Trek is about a crew of folks exploring parts of the galaxy where no man has gone before.   They're so far out there on their own that they're pretty much winging it every day, in a ship that's part battleship and part exploration/flagship.  Which is why it's okay to have some non-essential doodads hanging off it to make it look cool.     

The Enterprise's original mission was to park over a new planet and check out the natives and - if they were advanced enough to make contact - say "Hi, we're from the Federation of Planets which is totally badass.   Seriously, look at our ship, it's frickin' sweet!   You should join up!   (PS We're also heavily armed, fyi.)

And if the planet wasn't advanced enough, they had this thing called the Prime Directive which said they should stay hidden and not interfere... but if you're running a Nazi planet then screw the Prime Directive, we're coming down to  fix THAT shit right now.   And then just to be dicks we're also gonna punch you in the head and sleep with your girlfriend, the greener the better.   And then... we're gonna move the hell on,  lol, cya!   

That, son, is what Star Trek is.  It just hasn't been that in your lifetime, you can't be faulted for not knowing that.

So it's fine by me if you or anyone else didn't care for Abrams Trek, and it's even fine if you think that Next Generation was good.  I just object to the idea that Abrams' version "isn't Star Trek".    It may not be YOUR Trek, but I had it before you did and I says it IS.   

It ain't a perfect movie, but at least Abrams got back to what I liked about Star Trek - traveling in a sweet spaceship, punching dudes, seducing chicks and breakin' rules whenever possible.   All I know is that I enjoyed the time I spent watching that movie, and I haven't enjoyed much of anything with a Star Trek label on it for over forty years.  So you can imagine my relief.

1,679

(208 replies, posted in Episodes)

In retrospect I regret my decision to let you guys do New Trek without me.   Nah, go ahead I said, have fun.   Now after listening to the end result I wanna write a rebuttal so huge it feels like I'm gonna give birth.   

But I got work to do, so I will just have to keep my legs crossed and try to breathe deeply.

Short version, of course Brian's wrong.  I just wish I'd been there to explain how wrong.    For starters GAAAHHHH CONTRACTIONS  SOMEBODY GET ME AN EPIDURAL

1,680

(21 replies, posted in Off Topic)

In lieu of posting my own response - whatever I'd probably have said has been said already by someone or other - I present you with Food For the Eagle.   

It's the text of a speech Adam (Mythbusters) Savage gave this month to the Harvard Humanist Society.

As supernatural worldviews go, the eagle-food model makes as much sense as any other.  Actually, it makes more sense than many...

1,681

(68 replies, posted in Episodes)

My vote is still officially Abstain because I don't think DIF must be any one thing or other - we started out geared toward FX-heavy discussions because it's kinda sorta what we all do for a living, but we've moved away from that over time.  There's no reason it can't swerve back in that direction at whim, tho.

If we do get around to Firefly/Serenity, easily my favorite scifi franchise of the past 10 or maybe even 20 years, I can't wait.   But my love for it has absolutely zero to do with its visual effects -  the story and characters and themes are what I would want to talk about.   

So the guest can haz my chair if there's an fx-based Serenity commentary, I have literally nothing to contribute to that discussion.    But if we decide to tackle it as a movie, no power in the 'verse can stop me from showing up for that.

1,682

(56 replies, posted in Episodes)

I bet she could cast a hell of a snake trap, tho - know what I mean?  *




*actually, I myself do not know what that meant, it just sounded dirty.

1,683

(56 replies, posted in Episodes)

Only the terribly uncool people.   Tauren hunters rule.

1,684

(68 replies, posted in Episodes)

Abstain

1,685

(56 replies, posted in Episodes)

While it's fair if you got that message from the scene, I don't think that was the intent.  I read it as a demonstration that Ellie was already who would continue to be as an adult - pragmatic and logical, and not interested in vague pseudo-answers like "God moves in mysterious ways".   

I think if the movie wanted to give us a heavy-handed message like you describe (and many a less-deft movie has), we'd have seen a scene of her going to church with her dad before he died.    Or more likely, given Zemeckis' tendency in these matters, religious memorabilia on her wall, revealed in a slow tracking shot. 

So if there'd been a crucifix and a plaque reading "Honor Student at St. Mary's Catholic School for Spookily Devout Girls", that'd be one thing.    Instead, the patented Zemeckis introduce-character-via-their-home-decor tracking shot in Contact shows that Ellie is already obsessed with radio and astronomy, etc. long before her dad's death.  He's raising a little scientist, not a little Christian - I don't think there's any indication that she had any religious beliefs to lose.   

Of course, I probably see that because that was my life too - I didn't "reject" Christianity any more than I rejected Zeus or Buddha or Cthulhu, I just wasn't trained to believe in any of them and religion has never been a factor in my life.   

I suppose you're right that a religiously-inclined person might interpret that scene the way you describe, but we already know that sort of person interprets a lot of things in the darnedest ways anyway, regardless of whether there's basis for it or not.     They make plenty of movies targeted for those people, but  I don't think Contact is one of them.

1,686

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

Imagine my surprise to discover there was a Disney "classic" that I'd never heard of...

But now I get it - Internet.  Ironic tone.  Never mind, move along.

1,687

(15 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Jeffery Harrell wrote:

Okay, so I just got around to watching "You Have 0 Friends." And it's fucking brilliant.

Oddly enough I just discovered theoatmeal.com today, and so I can contribute  this to the discussion.

1,688

(9 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Invid wrote:

Actually, now that I think of it, given which came first shouldn't we call films like Night of the Living Dead 'Zulu movies'?

Well, now that _I_ think of it, Zulu was just a "Fort Apache" movie...

1,689

(9 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Invid wrote:

Hmm, is ZULU also a zombie movie?

I would say yes.   

Also qualifying as an undercover-zombie movie, I submit Assault on Precinct 13, both original and remake.

1,690

(52 replies, posted in Episodes)

Geezus, is it too soon for a reboot on Transformers?   'cause that idea is genius.

*puts on development executive hat*

I just have one note:

Jeffery Harrell wrote:

And then the President gets on TV and is all, "Uh, yeah. What do you think, that we're stupid? That we can't tell the difference between a turbine generator and a giant freakin' robot?"

And then we cut to an aerial shot of a 747 cargo plane transforming into a giant fucking robot and opening up a can of whoopass on the Decepticons.

How about - and then live on TV the Decepticons attack, and right behind the President Air Force One transforms into a giant fucking robot?  Because of course he'd travel with the baddest Transformer of all, just in case.   

Then, whoopass, etc. etc.

I think you got a movie here.  Here's a hundred million, start on Tuesday, I'll call Burger King.

1,691

(52 replies, posted in Episodes)

Twig24 wrote:

how they work, why the autobots can only be cars, why some cjan change what they turn into. At some point dont you think shia would ask? I know i would.

See, there's a scene that might have been really fun, in either movie.     After a lot of running and exploding, there's a brief lull, and Shia could have his own refrigerator moment:

                             SHIA
So Optimus, I've been meaning to ask - why cars and trucks?  How does that work exactly?

                           OPTIMUS
Well, I'm glad you asked, because it's really quite a fascinating -

Suddenly SOMETHING EXPLODES.  They RUN.


I think you make a very good point - there is a difference between explaining the magic beans (which by definition don't need an explanation, they're just magic) and explaining how the magic beans WORK.     

For example, we never know exactly how the deLorean does what it does, but we DO know that it needs 1.21 gigawatts for the time circuits, and needs to be moving at 88 mph,  because these became key elements of the plot.

or Kyle Reese's limited understanding of time travel -  he explains HOW it works, enough so that we understand why the Terminator doesn't have futuristic weapons, etc.  But when it comes to explaining WHY, he can't because he "didn't build the f**ing thing!"   

Or the arbitrary Gremlin rules - they're ridiculous, but hey, those are the rules, and then the story proceeds based on those rules.      And so on.

I think that's a big missing piece in Transformers (and from listening to the commentary, apparently in Tran2 as well) - what the hell are the ground rules with these machines?   It doesn't have to make SENSE per se, but at least tell us what the rules ARE.   

Without that, we're left with robots punching each other until ILM runs out of money.

1,692

(52 replies, posted in Episodes)

Gregory Harbin wrote:
DorkmanScott wrote:

Which excuses the first viewing...

And the second one can be excused by the fact that this is Japan and it was the only American movies in cinemas and I was girl-less and bored.

I was certainly playing some Solitaire on my iPhone during the non-giant robots parts.

I believe that does constitute a valid excuse.   Especially the iPhone part.

So this episode finally gave me the opportunity to listen to a DIF commentary without watching or ever having watched the movie in question - which apparently some of our listeners do, and which I couldn't understand why someone would.

I just had to wait for a movie I had no interest in seeing, and thus had no fear of being "spoiled" by the commentary - to see what the experience was like.

Oddly enough, I get it now.  The podcast still works even with no knowledge of the movie.    Whaddaya know.

Tho really, could there have been any such thing as a "spoiler" for Transformers II?   "What, something blows up?  You've ruined it for me!"

1,693

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

Aha, well - while those things are improbable (really, nearly everything that happens in any action movie is improbable), they're not impossible or literally magical, which is really what Double Mumbo-Jumbo is describing.     

i.e. the movie wants us to accept the existence of a could-never-have-existed rocket pack, so okay fine.   If then at the beginning of Act III, a wizard showed up, or the archangel Gabriel or what have you, that'd be double-mumbo-jumbo - two unrelated inexplicable/impossible story points in one story.  But there's nothing impossible or magical about Nazi's secretly hiding out in Los Angeles, or hiring local goons to do their bidding.   

But it's certainly okay if you didn't buy the idea, that's entirely fair.   Me, that's my favorite part of the movie, it comes right from the classic movie serials that Rocketeer was emulating.   Just as Star Wars was partly an homage to the Buck Rogers serials, Rocketeer was an homage to RocketMan and Spy Smasher, etc. 

And in those, boy, there were Nazi's and mob bosses hiding behind every bush in America.   Which kept Spy Smasher pretty busy, as you can imagine.

1,694

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

I thought Primer was an amazing achievement, but I don't think there's a person alive who fully understood it after one viewing.   I certainly didn't, but I was intrigued enough to search online, and sure enough somebody had mapped out the entire thing.  (I think it was in the forums of the movie's official site, if that's still online.) Even then I didn't fully "get it", but I accept that it actually does fit together.

Primer actually would be a really good one to do, I'm just not sure how many of the rest of the gang have seen it.  Guys?

1,695

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

At the risk of spoiling Rocketeer for those who may not have seen it (and if not, you should), I'm curious what you think the "second magic trick" is in Rocketeer, I've never noticed one myself.   

The one trick I can think of would be "somebody invented a working personal rocket pack in the 1930's" which isn't even anywhere near the magic-trick level of  "Guy uses a ham radio to talk to his dead dad in the past" (Frequency) or "Sandra Bullock can send letters through time to Keanu Reeves" (The Lake House) and so on.   For the record, I liked both of those movies too - they both explored the ramifications of their magic trick pretty well, I thought.

Where's the double hocus pocus in Rocketeer, in your opinion?    You could rock my world here if you've found one. 

As for Bill Campbell, I liked the guy myself.  Always thought he should have had a bigger movie career, though he's done pretty okay for himself, just never became a household name.

1,696

(9 replies, posted in Episodes)

Apparently Kevin Smith had a bit of a Twitter-fit about the negative critical response to his latest movie "Cop Out".     So here's a fun - and I think, well-argued - response from a movie critic.   

The reason I post it here is because the critic rather ingeniously turns Kevin' infamous tale of The Giant Spider against him. 

So check it out, see what you think

1,697

(9 replies, posted in Off Topic)

DorkmanScott wrote:

I will say, I like that he calls them "the Penguins." I'm using that.

That is a good one.   But it doesn't replace my own fave phrase which I learned from a co-worker twenty-some years ago.

We were on the set working, the door opened and a gang of suits walked in.  My buddy turned to me and said "Uh-oh... squirrel farm."

Why squirrel farm, I have no idea, but I was still stifling my laughter when they left an hour later. Somehow it just fit.

If I ever have a job that involves regular dealing with studio people, I look forward to being able to say, "Gotta go, I got Squirrel Farm at 3:00".   

Or you may see it IN AN EMAIL THAT'S ALL CAPS.   

SQUIRREL FARM!

1,698

(9 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Just like everything else that Mamet writes, what's missing is back story.    For all we know, he sent that after reading a dozen godawful episode scripts - clearly something triggered an overpowering urge to reiterate the fundamentals of drama to the staff.   

And there's also the issue that he's right, which doesn't excuse all behaviors, but does buy the cuttage of a certain amount of slack in my book.  (See also Cameron, James;  Tippett, Phil)

1,699

(36 replies, posted in Episodes)

You're right that ticket prices aren't directly tied to inflation - the Boxofficemojo list is actually based on a formula that calculates ticket prices in a given year.   And for extra fun you can adjust it to any year - Avatar's 1939-era gross is just over 22 million dollars, Gone With The Wind in 2010 comes to more than 1.5 billion, and that's just in the US.

And it's true that GWTW and other pre-1980's movies ran for longer than modern movies - while Gone With The Wind wasn't in release for 30 years, it didn't even go into what we'd now call "wide" release until 1941.   When I was a kid, the local theater ran The Sound of Music for well over a year - so long that they painted a big mural of Julie Andrews on the side of their building.    And Star Wars was in theaters for more than a year in its first release as well.

But although in the olden days movies stayed in the theaters longer, they also ran on fewer screens in a country with a then-smaller population.     The movie multiplex didn't exist until the '60's, and was still a rarity when Star Wars opened in a whopping 12 theaters nationwide in 1977. 

So it was months before you could just walk up to the one theater in Washington DC where Star Wars was playing and buy a ticket for the next show.  Until then you were lucky to get a ticket two or three shows in advance, if the whole day wasn't sold out already by the time you got there.    And if it was, your only option was to hop on a plane to New York, which was the next closest theater where it was playing.   Believe it or not.

Nowadays movies open on thousands of screens at once, so people have easier access to new releases - but if the movie's not a blockbuster then most of those seats are empty.    So I still think older movies' popularity can be validly compared to modern ones.  In them days we were just accustomed to having to wait a few months to see the latest popular flick, so while they ran longer, they also made their money more slowly.  And they only ran longer if the audiences kept showing up.   

Really, the reason that Gone With the Wind can never be beaten is it didn't have to compete with television and home video and the internet for its audience.   That's a handicap that no modern movie can overcome.

By the way, I'm working on a plan to make a movie and charge a billion dollars per ticket.   Sure, that's high, but I only need to sell one ticket to tie with Avatar for the biggest movie evarrr.

1,700

(10 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Malak wrote:

William Goldman in general (care to choose?)

First of all, none of Goldman's books are "screenwriting books" per se, they're either personal memoirs or collected essays about film.  But along the way in all of them he talks a great deal about his theories of screenwriting.

Adventures in the Screen Trade was his first, most infamous memoir, about his career up to the point when he wrote the book in 1983.  So it discusses the making of Butch Cassidy and other early works of his, but not Princess Bride which hadn't been made yet.   The book was infamous because Goldman told tales of his experiences and actually named names - if he thought someone was a d-bag, he said so. 

Which Lie Did I Tell?  is the followup that covers his career since writing the first book - the chapters about Princess Bride, Ghost and the Darkness, and Year of the Comet are especially memorable.

The Big Picture, on the other hand, is mostly a collection of magazine articles, including many of his annual Premiere magazine reviews of the Best Picture nominees.    In which he explains why - in his opinion - Titanic was a great movie, Private Ryan was a badly flawed movie, Shakespeare in Love and Life is Beautiful weren't very good at all, and so on.  Also some interesting insights into why Jim Carrey is important to movie history, and other fun topics.

They're all great books, but if you want to get the flavor of Goldman, then maybe Big Picture, being a smaller book with bite-sized chapters, might be the place to start.