201 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I'm gonna be that guy and bump this, because I want Eddie's input and I'm too lazy to get in touch with him privately.

Also, this thread has been derailed.    Anyone do anything testosterony today?

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202 Reply by Kyle

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Can't really help you there.  I've only been knocked out cold twice, both via wrestling, and they're both fairly innocuous stories.  One time a guy clotheslined my fucking brain out of my skull and the next thing I do I was sitting on the mat feeling confused.  The other time a guy kicked my fucking brain out of my skull, and I woke up on the mat feeling confused... then I got up and beat the tar out of him.  Never knocked anyone out, to my knowledge.  Now, if this were a general bodily harm thing, I've knocked a few people's teeth out and recieved my fair share of bruises, black eyes, busted lips, dislocated jaws, and probably a concussion or two.

Eddie's gonna have better stories on forced unconciousness than I, I'd wager.

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203 Reply by Kyle

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Look at Jeff with his ten dollar words.

I'll wait until one of you asks a question in terms I can handle, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

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204 Reply by Kyle

(11 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I still say "Your Penis is better."

"Yeahhh, this is the Deuce here on X103, Indy's rock alternative.  Right now we're gonna be giving out tickets to a sold out show, so just call in if you ever want to see Your Penis ever again."

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205 Reply by Kyle

(4 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I never saw any Lost other than like, the first half of the pilot.  The pilot seems pretty straightforward, and seems like a show I want to see.  However, every other conversation about Lost I've seen/heard/observed in some fashion over the years has left me with zero interest in ever getting into it.  It seems like a meaningless pile of plot twists and confusion that never bothered to tie it all together at the end.

If that's inaccurate, fine, but that's the impression I get very strongly and there's too many episodes for me to commit to giving it a shot anyway.

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206 Reply by Kyle

(11 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Actually, it's much crueler to name your band "Your Penis."

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207 Reply by Kyle

(11 replies, posted in Off Topic)

The Pink Matching Shoelaces.

Da da da da dummmm.

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208 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Hey, while we're on the subject of that sort of thing, I'm thinking about getting into some kind of martial art.  I know I'm a little old to get started by comparison to most, but I'm trying to get in better shape and I'd like something like that to spice up my routine.  On top of that, wrestling/being a wrestler has gotten me into a couple of situations where knowing how to defend (DIFend?) myself competently would have made things a lot less scary.

With that kind of criteria in mind, what would you reccomend?  I know there are general MMA classes and Krav Magra self defense classes in the area, but those seem fairly moneygrabby.  I know boxing is great for getting in shape and getting some power in your arms, but Muay Thai seems like it would provide that along with some flexibility.

Thoughts?  Also, if you ever do shoot that short film, I'd love to be involved in some way, if you'll have me.

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209 Reply by Kyle

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

I approve thoroughly of this derailment, and look forward to what's in SOTRE.

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210 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

You got something cuter?

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211 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I think a new DIF weekly videocast of Eddie teaching loyal DIFenders how to kung fu is a brilliant idea.  Why?  Because I thought of it.

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212 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Matt Morgan.  Now there's a man.  They actually blew his DNA into space (with a rocket, not his dick) so that if any aliens stumble across it, they'll know what an ideal human looks like.

It seriously doesn't get any more credibly manly than that.

Speaking of early wrestling/mma stuff, have you ever seen the Muhammad Ali/Antonio Inoki fight?

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213 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Well sure, but the thing is that even though MMA in a lot of ways was born from pro wrestling, now it's regulated and respected and the guys are all tested and taken care of and paid well.  Wrestling even at the very top is still a very shady, carny thing.  They call their employees "independent contractors" and then don't let them work anywhere else, just as an excuse to not give them ANY benefits.  There's been two or three attempts at starting a wrestler's union in the past and every single person involved was blackballed from the industry.  TNA has a drug testing policy but doesn't punish those that fail tests (and their test results are private).  WWE has a testing policy too, but suspiciously only the lower card guys ever get dinged for them.

And pay is even worse.  Top level independent stars will travel across the country for 75-200 bucks.   And the WWE guys aren't even making as much as you might think, since almost all of them are paying for their own transportation, hotels, health insurance, and all that sort of thing.  A lot of them aren't cracking six figures, and they're international stars.

I ain't denying you saw the crazy wild west scummy days of MMA back when nobody off the street knew a peruvian necktie from a crazy deep throating technique, but at least now they know being in one sucks.  When I'm getting powerbombed, not ONLY do they point out that it looks like I'm rubbing my sack in a dude's face, but they also insist it doesn't hurt.

tl;dr version: Eddie, teach me to kickpunch.

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214 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Exactly.  So you're absolved for the pedicure.

Fun fact- I know at least two wrestlers who intentionally don't wash their gear if they know that the next week they'll be wrestling someone they don't like.

What's it like being involved in legitimate, classy sport, Eddie?

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215 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Yeah, but was the Pedicure FOR the Jiu Jitsu tourny?

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216 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Yeah, but you're allowed to do that sort of thing after you QUALIFY for your scrotum's contents, y'know?

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217 Reply by Kyle

(19 replies, posted in Off Topic)

On topic, I'm surprised nobody has mentioned Be Kind Rewind, but I never saw that.  For me, the biggest disparity between trailer and movie was Clash of the Titans.  What I thought I was going to get was an awesome, blood and guts, sandles and swordplay 2010 update of the original, and instead what I got was Pussious and his merry band of redshirts being boring and stupid and raping mythology.

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218 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

If we manlies have offended, think but this and all is mended: that you've merely menstruated here, while these biceps did appear.  And this sweet and rockin' thread?  No more yielding than your bed.  Queerbait, do not reprehend, if you pardon, we will mend.  And if now we have unearned luck, now to 'scape your mother's tongue, we will make amends 'ere long.  Or else the Kyle a rad bad rootin' tootin', jet flyin, limosine ridin', kiss stealin', wheelin', dealin', bicep pumpin', heavy metal thumpin', lightning pissing and thunder shitting SON OF A BITCH call.

See if you can fit my stage left and my stage right in your mouth at the same time.

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219 Reply by Kyle

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

1. Buy them.  I'm thinking Finifter is just the right combination of pretty and helpless to be kidnapped and sold into sex slavery.

2. Make Eddie tap out.  I imagine I could do this, because I'm a pro wrestler, and obviously one of the world's elite in the ways of grappling.  I think I'll use the figure four.

3. Let Teague go a whole episode without correcting him once, then do it all at the end, interrupting him between "goodnights."

4. Trick Dorkman into thinking he's defeated you, then kill him with a clone of yourself.

5. http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a13/CreativeMountain/OMG074.jpg


Top five celebrities you'd like to make a guest appearance on DIF.

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220 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Yeah.  Trying really hard to get YO MAMA TO STOP CALLIN' FO' A PIECE.

If Eddie and Mike were here, there would be chest bumps for that one.

Now y'all need to leave this thread before the extra estrogen wafting through the air starts to turn Eddie's perfect pectorals into breasts.

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221 Reply by Kyle

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

1. Abu the monkey.  Unfortunately I can't give the top spot to Scooby fucking Do, since you said the movies.

2. Timone and Pumba.  Hakuna Matata.

3.  Alan, from the Hangover.  He counts as a child.

4.  Donkey.

5.  The bad guy's Pug from Pocahontas.

Close, but disqualified include the Candlestick from Aladdin,  Chewie, Mini Me, and Gollum.

Top 5 ways to make your death the best thing EVER.

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222 Reply by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Already the lushes and sycophants flock.

[18:42] i eat your emo: I wanna be in the man thread.
[18:42] XKingofShadowsX: Have you chopped wood with an axe?
[18:42] i eat your emo: yes!
[18:43] XKingofShadowsX: Have you been in a fistfight?
[18:43] i eat your emo: sort of.
[18:43] XKingofShadowsX: Have you killed Ryan Weiber with a lightsaber?
[18:43] i eat your emo: I've fought him with a lightsaber.
[18:44] XKingofShadowsX: THEN FEEL FREE TO MAKE A "SORT OF MAN THREAD," BUTTBANDIT.

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223 Topic by Kyle

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

This thread is for myself, Eddie, and Dorkman.  Why?  Because the rest of you are pretty freakin' fruity.  You MAY submit an application if you are capable of growing a full beard (and we'll need photographic evidence) but it isn't a guarantee of admittance. 

Otherwise, stay the hell out with your swishy fruitbooties.

So, fellas.  How are your abs doing?

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224 Reply by Kyle

(19 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Buncha god damn queers.  If you need me, I'll be in the manly thread with Dorkman and Doty.  Later, cocksuckers.

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225 Reply by Kyle

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

DorkmanScott wrote:

Yeah, the Hitchhiker's movie was pretty awful.

Kyle, you know handful of the bits where the movie would show an entry from the Guide and it was weird and quirky and just the way things were phrased and constructed were hysterical? The books are like that the entire time.

That's what I've gathered.  Still though, I have to say I enjoyed the movie on its own merits.  It may not have been the best adaptation, but you throw the guy from the office, Sam Rockwell, Zoey Deschanel, Bill Nighy, Mos Def, and Alan Rickman in a film together and I'm probably going to have a great time.

And I loved the SPIRIT of the movie.  If that same "y'know, the universe is pretty ridiculous and probably way more ridiculous than we know" spirit is at the core of the books, then that was conveyed totally to me.

I really do need to get around to reading them, though.

TrowaGP02a wrote:

Original King Kong anybody?

I'm guessing nobody has that DVD.  I don't know how you feel about Nostalgia Critic but he recently did an Old vs. New for the original and latest Kongs, it's pretty good.

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