My Penis wasn't smooth or soothing. It was unapologetically hard—even ugly. But it could rock whole stadiums full of screaming girls for hours and leave them wanting more. And the mess My Penis made of hotel rooms was legendary. It was really only when My Penis met up with Shirley Temple's Pussy that it finally settled down.

Well that was very entertaining, but of course not really the same as a regular commentary. A good first run, for sure. It was tough to stay in sync, given the video drift and lag. Matt figured out how to fix the audio once he realized it was so bad people were bailing; that's cool. And once we got into a rhythm of non-time-code sync cues, that was helpful.

Uh, what else? We can't really see your facial expressions, and there's a good bit of blurring in fast motion moments. Just something to be aware of... MST3K did pretty well, and they were just silhouettes...

I love Orson Welles, but Citizen Kane does nothing for me beyond the early newspaper scenes and the aside about catching a glimpse of a girl decades before.

But I love genre films, and it's a pure drama character assassination of a real person. The only way to get further away from films I'm interested in is to go to, say, a heartbreaking tale of a teenage girl rebelling against her mom.