Topic: Found Blackbox

A few days back, I brainstormed an idea to make a sort of story out of nothing but the radio transmissions of a crew working on something in space.
A found-transmission story, if you will. So I wrote a short intro script, and made a recording out of me, me, me, and me, to get a feel for the idea big_smile

I welcome, welcome, welcome any ideas you can throw at me. Let me know what you think could make it better. I'd like for this to really be interesting. Audio, dialogue, or character-wise.

Also, anyone who's interested (I know a few of you mentioned it), tell me if you'd be interested in recording dialogue for the full story (or maybe the first episode;)

Here's the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B34wSs … sp=sharing

Witness me!

Thumbs up +1 Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

That was fun. Clarity of purpose might help; the actual things that are actually happening, not a mystery-boxish "what are they talking about?" monster vibe, but, like, "sir, the wing fell off," and having that happen quick.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

Thumbs up Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

Teague wrote:

That was fun. Clarity of purpose might help; the actual things that are actually happening, not a mystery-boxish "what are they talking about?" monster vibe, but, like, "sir, the wing fell off," and having that happen quick.

So do you think a 5-minute character intro is too long? Just clarifying.

Witness me!

Thumbs up Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

There's two ways to approach it. One is the approach of people who get mad at anyone with a short attention span, and they'd tell you "just tell the story you want to tell, and if that requires a slow start, so be it!" The other way would be my approach, which would be to embrace the reality of asking people to listen to an audio thing — which unlike all other forms of media cannot be scanned at-a-glance to determine what it is and where it's going — and assume "whatever this is, it needs to be at its clearest and most-interesting in the first sixty seconds or nobody is going to make it to the sixty-first."

*shrug*

It is my opinion that, unless you're giving them a free audiobook or otherwise longform piece of audio content, people are considerably less likely to stick with audio fiction than fiction in other mediums. So I'd be playing defense against that principle.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

Thumbs up +1 Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

Aha! Yes makes sense

Witness me!

Thumbs up +1 Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

My ears are burning... 4.32. Lolz. (I jest) Not half bad this.

Hurroo

Thumbs up Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

Regan wrote:

Not half bad this.

Thanks! Any specific suggestions for improvement?

Last edited by Writhyn (2016-05-01 01:15:52)

Witness me!

Thumbs up Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

I expected... nah, wanted something to come from the manic laughter in the middle. I know it's short. But I like   the style. More please

Hurroo

Thumbs up Thumbs down

Re: Found Blackbox

Sorry it took a while, but I'm glad I finally got around to this! It was fun. Took some time to get used to who was who and where all the players were. In a final version you'd need either more time spent establishing characters (hahaha Fingers man, that shit was priceless) or a quick dramatis personae before it gets going.

Immediate engagement is an issue too, like Teague said. You want to arrest attention in the first sixty seconds, even if it's something toward the end that's big and exciting, then some officious-sounding bureaucrat saying, "Roll the tape back," so you can then take the slow-burn approach but the audience knows that it's working toward, "The wing fell off!"

Or in this case, that a bunch of guys are trying to leave somewhere, apparently unauthorized.

Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.

Re: Found Blackbox

Man that is fun to listen to now, knowing how it's evolved.

Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.