THE LORD OF THE RINGS (Page 1 of 13)

Ohh Emm Gee!! 

Ill be posting my menu later today so you can cook along if desired.

*salute*

Fun fact? This episode of Down in Front is sponsored by Five Hour Energy and Redbull.

You'll have to point out Bret Mckenzie when he shows up. That should fill a good 30 seconds.

Teague already has my axe.

I want my god damn axe back, Teague!

Also, why I no can donate through paypal with my credit card

Your mom and my balls.

/I am so sorry
//why would I say that

Oh. My god. I am buying that book right now.

LORD OF THE RINGS ALL DAY MARATHON MENU

It's a steady stream of calories.  Rich, but not too heavy.  I know there are several sites dedicated to Middle Earth cuisine, but my goal for this was more practical faire that simply took it's cues from certain scenes and characters.  It's like A Song of Ice and Fire where George RR Martin practically provides recipes for all the food of Westeros. 

I'm doing three mains, two snacks, and a dessert.  Two items from each movie roughly 2 hours apart each.  I will provide the menu today, and recipes tomorrow for those who give a shit.

Fellowship of the Ring

Bilbo's Cheesy Eggs with Butter Over Too Much Toast.  Bag's End welcomes you to a ridiculous degree.  Bilbo prepares his famous British-style Churried Egg, mixed with scallions and Creme Fraiche, over a thick cut of Sourdough...which probably could have used a little more butter.

Saruman's Eye of Palantir Prosciutto Melon Balls What dark mysteries can be foreseen...with this crisp and light blend of spring flavors!  A refreshing, salty-sweet palate cleanser lies in your future.

The Two Towers

Balrog's Battling Burgers of Shadow and Flame. From the depths of Moira lurks a forgotten horror: bold flavor.  Balrog's ground beef patties are forged with thick cut bacon chunks, smoked Paprika, and Sri Racha.  These burgers were too much for Gandalf the Grey, how about you?

Sam's PO-TA-TOES.  Boiled, Mashed, but NOT in a stew (too heavy after Balrog was done with us).  These crushed white potatoes are lightly mixed with Green Onions, fresh crab meat, and a light olive oil vinaigrette.  Served with seared cherry tomatoes, these are the perfect, light, mini meal on the go when traveling with your best friend and his twisted pet thing.

Return of the King

Deagol's "The One That Got Away."  Man, Deagol sure had a big one on the reel.  Had he got it in the boat (instead of finding the one rng and getting murdered) I'm certain him and Smeagol would have enjoyed a crispy skin on Arctic Char with toasted Seaweed Shavings, along with whatever else he dredged up.  Like Toasted Clams a la Genovesse and a micro green salad to go with it.  But no, he went the whole getting murdered route.

There and Back Again: An Almond's Tale.  Welcome back to the shire.  Most everything about your trip sucked, so relax with a guilt free yet delicious dessert of toasted almonds over strawberries and ricotta cheese.  Indulgent, yet low in fat and calories, which frankly, the other Hobbits should look more into.  I'm looking at YOU, Samwise.

So there you have it.  Full recipes sometime tomorrow.

That's a lot of carbohydrates for the first two films, should we expect burpees in between discs?

The menu makes me so happy.

On a much lamer/geekier food note, additional noshy snacks to be provided will be of the "what characters are actually eating onscreen" variety. To include:

-Bilbo's birthday cake
-Lembas bread
-Orc-draught
-Salted pork (ham)
-Denethor's dinner (roast chicken, bread, cheese, cherry tomatoes)
-Various booze (beer and wine)

There will also be champagne to celebrate completion of the quest and, I dunno, donuts and chips and stuff probably.