Intermission 008 - Best Worst Movies (Page 1 of 2)

I'm not actually in this one, despite the cast list...

Oh, you're right.

...

Get out of there Trey, you are not an Eddie. You are a Trey.

Youuuuuuuuu sonofabeetch.

Darkplace!

Everything has its own wiki

I'm still happy that I picked the topic! 

http://www.bradmays.com/bacchae_movie.html (NSFW)
Oh god, it ... it burns!

I have a few bad movies that are so bad their good. Jaws the Revenge, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Troll 2, Jaws 3, Godzilla 1998, Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones, Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith.

Last edited by SeanH (2011-11-07 04:25:58)

OK, I'm gonna talk about a few movies here. I used to watch a lot of bad movies as a hobby. Recently it's gotten hard to do this, as the rental store I used to buy them at has gone belly up, so I've been trying to find them online. These are the straight to DVD movies that are actually trying to be decent movies, or at least trying to be fun to watch. Some of them are up there with The Asylum in terms of "so bad it's good", while others are just painful to watch. I will, of course, include trailers and such in this post.

1) US Seals 2
I already posted this in the netflix thread. If you've not already seen it, it's on netflix instant right now. Stop reading this and watch it. It's one of my favorite B movies of all time.

2) Megasnake
This is Asylum fodder, though it was made by the now defunked First Look Studios for the Sci-Fi Channel. For those who don't know them, they're about on the same level of the Asylum, except they actually tried to make decent flicks and occasionally succeeded. They picked up "Transsiberian", "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans" and "Paris, Je t'aime" among others that were pretty well recieved. They also released "Mega Snake", "Retrograde" and a bunch of other low budget flicks. Or maybe they just had the distribution rights for Sci-Fi channel films. I dunno.

Megasnake is about a snake that gets really big. See, this family used to go to one of those snake wrangling churches where they'd dare the poisonous snakes to bite them and trust god to prevent that from happening. The father of this family died of a snake bite, and the two sons of this guy grow up. One of them is terrified of snakes, the other is obsessed with them. The obsessive one buys this rare poisonous snake from some dude. The terrified one is upset about this.

Then the snake gets really big and eats people.

The acting and special effects aren't good, but there are a few things that make the movie watchable and interesting. First, the dialogue can be decidedly odd and poorly delivered. The snake itself actually looks really good in some of the early shots, but once it's bigger it looks hilarious. The final awesome thing is the climax which takes place at an amusement park and has one of the most hilarious tilt-a-whirl scenes I've ever seen.

3) The Shepard: Border Patrol
Directed by the same guy who directed US Seals 2, and set in the same town and sets as the town in Mega Snake, this film is actually pretty watchable. There are some decent fight scenes, there are some funny line deliveries, there are some weird twists that come out of nowhere. It's actually not all that bad if a little slow in some scenes.

In fact, Florentine, the director, would probably be a decent action director if he could manage to tighten up his movies to prevent them from lagging in parts. US Seals 2 has this problem with some of the earlier scenes while this film and "Ninja", his most recent film, get slow around the middle. All of his movies have some pretty nice fight sequences, which goes without saying when you realize that this guy's previous job was fight choreography and being a stunt man.

So yeah, check this one out. It's pretty good.

4) Invasion.
This is probably one of the worst films ever made. Show this movie to someone who thinks Gigli is a bad movie and it will blow their minds. Hell, show it to someone who thinks your average Asylum film is bad and it will blow their minds. And it's not really the sort of bad you can make fun of, either. Oh, it's got it's moments to be sure, but it's a hard sit. It's not like The Room or Birdemic. I dare you to watch this movie.

Made by one Albert Pyun, famous for the earlier Captain America film, as well as Bloodsport 2. His most successful movie? Time Cop. This guy made fucking Time Cop. If you wanna see what he's been up to lately, watch Invasion. It's also sometimes called "Infection", which cause some problems for me as there's another B-movie called "Infection" that I now own as a result of my first attempt to get my hands on this film. That movie isn't any good, either.

The one notable thing about the movie is that the main section of the film (the dash cam footage) appears to all be done in one take. I dunno if they maybe used some clever cuts here or there that would let them do a cut, but it appears to be one solid take. Which doesn't make it good, but makes it at least interesting. There's some subtle stuff that you probably won't notice going on in the background as well. I only noticed it while I was rewatching the movie for the third or fourth time back when I was planning on doing a video on bad movies.

But if you wanna see some truly terrible modern B-Movies, look at the B western genre. My god, so many bad movies. It's hard to give a suitable example, but I'll post the first one I ever watched.
5) Bounty:
This film can be hysterical, but only if you're drunk. There are so many problems with this movie it has to have broken some kind of record. The plot goes all to hell, the sets are cheap as hell, the 'jail' has bars that don't go up to the ceiling. The buildings don't look like buildings. Each interior looks like someone took the same 10x20 foot shed and stuck some furniture in there to make it kinda look like a bar or a jail or whatever.

And then there are things like power lines in the background of this period western. Stuff like that. I don't even know if this should be considered a recommendation. More like a "Hey guys, this movie exists!", and this isn't even the worst of them. Or the most entertaining. Check out "Shoot First And Pray You Live" if you wanna see what it looks like when you're a director obsessed with Quentin Tarantino and you make a bad western. Or check out "All Hell Broke Loose" to see what kind of movie you can shoot if you own some horses, have a DV camcorder and have access to an actor like David Carradine.

Bounty is a terrible / funny movie.

The only reason I post this is because that you can occasionally find some really amazing movies by dredging the bottom of the barrel. Some movies seem to just get buried down there for no reason. Examples:
1) Dolan's Cadillac.
Supposedly based on a Stephen King story, it's about a guy out for revenge after Dolan, this vegas mob guy, has his wife killed. I just randomly picked it up one day for a few bucks and was surprised by how good it is. There's definitely some weaker shit in the movie, but overall it's pretty good. This trailer does it no favors. There are some pretty clever bits in this movie. It is kinda cheesy at parts, but it's overall fairly decent. There's definitely a good movie in here, it's just a little unpolished.

2) The Horseman.
Fucking great movie. Another revenge movie. This one has a lot more depth going for it, due to the nature of the inciting incident that causes the main character to want to seek revenge. It's not just a black and white movie, and it ends up turning into something else by the end anyway. Great fight sequences that are mostly short and brutal and feel like real fights and not overly choreographed movie fights. Main actor pulls out a really good performance. Definitely watch it.

3) Interview.
Steve Buscemi co-wrote, directs and stars in this movie about a political reporter who, having stepped on someone's toes apparently, is forced to do what he considers to be a fluff piece interview with some ditzy third-rate actress. It goes to some pretty interesting places pretty quickly. The ending is kinda 'meh' but it's a pretty interesting movie overall, and Buscemi is as good as ever.

There are others, tho. Linewatch isn't half bad. Puerto Vallarta Squeeze is pretty good.

Welcome to the forum, Chris. Hopefully you like the show and us.

That you've been on repeatedly and known for ten years, respectively.

Haven't seen that one since it was in theaters. Does what I hate most in a movie: has five minutes set in an interesting future/fantasy world, then sends them to present day where it's cheaper to film. Only Terminator actually managed to pull it off well It's also sort of a bait and switch, as they had the rights to the toys and not the cartoon and thus were kind of limited in what they could do. No Orco, though, which was a good thing.