In all seriousness, I've said so privately, but this is outstanding work.  It's things like this that make me proud to be part of this community.

Oh here we go, my favorite episode of Tokes and Stokes was when in the cold open, Tokes and Stokes pull over a speeding sedan and find that the driver had actually stolen plans for a top secret missile that could wipe out an entire city. 

Later, a young officer named Rick Nichols reports to Lt. John LeGarre for assignment with a martial arts group named "Force Seven". Shortly, the Force Seven group gets an assignment to recover a stolen missile.  We learn that Rick is actually a black belt in Tae Kwon Do AND Karate.  Lt. LeGarre (played by former Oakland Raider Fred Dryer) gives Rick his new uniform and tells him that Force Seven doesn't use guns.  He is introduced to the rest of the team: Officers Cindy Davis and "Sly" Angeletti (and Sly's puppet "YinYang").  Rick bristles at the thought of having to work with a team, but as he explained earlier, he has nowhere else to go. 

Before we know it, the Force Seven team is sneaking into a warehouse looking for clues.  Angelleti asks what's so special about Rick.  LeGarre suspects that he posses "chi," and is capable of great things.  When Rick makes some noise, they're discovered and have to escape. That night, they try again (their Force Seven Uniforms are reversible Ninja outfits, you see) and are discovered again. They fight the employees and win. After the victory, an old friend of LeGarre, named Nakura (JOnathon Rhys-Davies), appears and captures them. After the Force Seven members escape, Nakura sets his plan into action and arms his stolen missile.

Nakura sends a taped message to the mayor and threatens to use the missile unless his demands are met. By examining the stars in the background of the videotape, Force Seven figures out where Nakura is hiding his missile.

The next morning, the Force Seven team sneaks into Nakura's compound using some pretty nifty martial arts skills. With 15 seconds to spare, they get Nakura to tell them the abort code of 666.
After the commercial, Nakura realizes that the warhead's armed to go off in one minute. Rick uses his magic Chi powers to disarm the warhead just before it detonates.

Later, at Central, the Chief meets Tokes and Stokes in the hallway and congratulates them for discovering the confidential papers which led the police to "the crazy" with the missile.

Dazed and Confused is in my top 20 of all time.  I'd be more than happy to do that.

I have a lot of love for The Departed.

That's why you hear people talk about immaculate conception and virgin birth as separate concepts.

I played electric guitar in a band that opened for Eve 6 in High School (They were called Yakoo back then).  Shockingly, I in fact received no pussy, and was still treated like a dork in high school.

Jarm Logue, the author in that second letter I linked to, endured far worse than Solomon Northrup.  The following is pretty disturbing, and 100% historically accurate.  Jarm was 14 when this particular event occurred.

"Blazing with alcohol and Hell within, he picked up the long wedge, and swore the boy should swallow it. As if to compel him to do so, he ordered Jarm to open his mouth. Jarm instinctively demurred to the absurd proposition, but Manasseth was inflexible. So soon as Jarm hesitated, his enemy struck him a blow on the side of the head, with his fist, which brought him to the ground.

The brute, with increased passion, leaped on him, and held him down--and in that condition charged the boy to open his mouth, on peril of his life--at the same time pressing the wood against his lips and teeth. Jarm, fearing he would break in all his teeth, opened his jaws, and the wretch immediately crowded the wedge in until it reached the roof of his mouth, before he could stop it with his teeth. He began to pound it in with his heavy fist. Not withstanding Jarm held on with his teeth, the wedge driven into the roof of his mouth, and mangled it frightfully. The blood flowed down his throat, and profusely from his mouth.

So soon as Jarm found his teeth were likely all to be broken, and that there was no hope of sympathy from the intoxicated wretch, he obeyed the instincts of nature, and by a sudden and powerful effort, he seized the wedge and the hand that held it, and turning his head at the same time, delivered his mouth from the instrument, and turned it towards the ground--resolved, if he was to be murdered, he not be murdered in that way. The heartless man then commenced punching the boy with the sharp end of the wedge, on his head and mouth, making bloody gashes--Jarm dodging, as well as be could, to avoid the blows...

This experience was valuable to Jarm, for it revealed to him his positions and relations to slavery, which he ever afterwards remembered with perfect distinctness. He was now about fourteen years of age, of excellent strength and health, and saw there was no other way for him, but to bear his trials with all possible discretion --and if an opportunity occurred to escape, to embrace it at whatever peril--but if doomed to remain a slave, to die struggling with his tyrant, when driven to the last extremity. To this resolution he was always obedient--ever mindful of the occasion that induced him to make it."