God, I hope this is in 3D.

I wonder if it would have been eligible for the 'Best Original Song' Oscar, given the transformation they made to it. I hear Malkovich is annoyed that he won't be eligible for 'Best Supporting Actor', just because he was inside Andy Serkis the whole time.

I still think he could have done it with rubber noses, duct tape and some careful lighting, and spent the money he saved on another million ducks.

Okay, I managed to get all the principal shots processed down to about 125MB; they're uploading now.

Next, I'll be going through the driving-around shots, and I expect to upload those within a few hours.

You might have to pull moving silence from the window shot, as the only explicit silence we captured was background noise while parked, since we inadvertently shot one of the scenes with the door open.

By the way, Teague, if I were to upload everything I have, it would be around 12GB.  Is that a problem for you, server- or bandwidth-wise?

I'm planning to pare it down and organize it according to your suggestions anyway, but I'm still pretty fluey, and it's tiring, so I may not get it as cleaned-up as I'd like.  I don' t know what kind of internet plan you're on, but if it's anything like the kind of cell-phone plans you have in the States, I don't want to be blowing your caps or burning your money more than necessary.

Am off to do my remaining shooting now -- three (!) people are helping.  It's like I have a film crew. Ideally, I won't cough up a lung while on camera, but you can cut that out, right?

Shot some test out-the-front driving footage today, driving through the English countryside, with some villages, towns and faster roads. Actually have about an hour already, and I'm probably going to stick representative bits on the server for Teague's comments.

Not that happy with some of the video quality (shot on a phone allegedly capturing at 720p, its compression algorithm really doesn't like trees), but the weather was nice.

Expecting to knock off the speaking bits either this Sunday or next, dependent on stuff.

Also expecting to shoot some out-the-window footage in central London, doing the Hollywood tour, perhaps -- Big Ben, Tower Bridge, London Eye, red buses, punk rockers, Lady Di,...

Still haven't decided where I'm going to do the getting-out part yet.

How do you know that wasn't why he was at the bottom of the Mariana Trench the other day?

That's it. I'm filming mine on the Moon.

Also, how about props?  Can I wear a hat?  In one of my quiet shots, could I be checking my twitter or eating a banana or doing a Rubik's cube or fiddling with a sonic screwdriver?

Dependent on how this was phrased, I'd suggest he mentioned not selling it on eBay to plant the seed that a quick profit was possible.

Not only is it more subtle than telling you outright that selling it on eBay could be profitable, it's the kind of comment that's designed you make you feel like you're smarter than the other guy. Cons rely on you developing this feeling, because then you think you're in charge.

I've been approached a few times over the years in and around London by suave jokers in flash cars telling stories like this: "I've got these items left over from a trade show that I've got to get rid of to make my sales quota", "I'm going to the airport, and I don't have room in my bags for these leftover clothing samples", et cetera.

Ultimately, it always boils down to: "I've got to get rid of desirable item X in a hurry, can you afford just £Y to do me a favour, mate?"

I always tell them to get lost before I call the police. They always get lost.

Scamming didn't start with spam, unfortunately. A friend of mine got a hand-written scam letter from Nigeria in 1992, long before they were ever using e-mail to waste everyone's time.

I'm sorry you were stitched up; don't take it personally.