I'm with Eddie.

Literally. I'm going to the movie with Eddie.

Eddie, you're driving.

I will want Twizzlers.

277

(169 replies, posted in Episodes)

I hadn't heard anything about the Max Landis GB3 idea, but holy cow is that a terrible idea. It has the Ghostbusters forgotten again, brings back Gozer (CAUSED by a failed Ghostbuster), and features a slick Michael Bay Ghostbuster team to be rivals with the blue collar heroes (Twister, anyone?). I was actually kind of okay with the opening that revealed some of the origin of Ivo Shandor and Slimer, altho it's not necessary.

The James Bond stuff is interesting. The early Bonds were spy movies, not action movies, and modeled closely on real-life spy stuff from WW2 and the Cold War. EON struck gold with Goldfinger and never looked back. But the Mission: Impossible TV show feature COPIOUS amounts of sneaking. There are endless scenes several minutes long with no dialog; just snare drums and sneaking.

Also, it's so weird how you guys meant to say "The Monster Squad" but you kept saying "The Goonies" for some reason.

/never say die

Will do on Friday.

279

(209 replies, posted in Creations)

PERFECT! I will arrange for the orchestra!

280

(209 replies, posted in Creations)

WHAT?! There's haunting. There's snaring. There's sirens. What more do you want??

281

(209 replies, posted in Creations)

Holden! There's something wrong with the forum! No one is congratulating me!

(don't worry. Holden will fix it)
pimp

282

(209 replies, posted in Creations)

LatinAlice wrote:
Teague wrote:

(Alice, if we're not doin' Broadway Babe, gimme sumthin' to write a song about, jeez.)

Simmer down, Chrystie.
She needs a rather haunting, ensnaring sort of siren song. Does that interest you?

WAIT LET ME TRY

[hauntingly]
Come, my little pretty,
I will take you to the city
to keeeep

I will stalk you with my gun
with a needle that will stun
you to sleeeeep

Your legend is so great
All the villagers you ate
Confirmed the rumooooor

But you're really just a monkey
who's frankly kind of skunky
with a glandular tumooooor

You walk about the jungle
And you smell a little fungal
but you're boooooold

I will catch you in my trap
I will make you take a nap
in my hooooold!

And I will get the filthy money
in the land of milk and honey
called New Yooooork (note: make "New York" rhyme with "hold")

WHOOOOOoooooo WHOOOOOOOooooo WHOOOOOOO
BWA BWAW BWA BWAH BWA BWAH
(THESE ARE SIREN SOUNDS)

Oh no! You've gotten loose!
My neck will be in a noose!
if you aren't stoooped!

Now the planes are in the sky!
And they shot you in the eye!
And in the street you flooooopped!

IN THE STREEeeeEEEEeeet you (really high) FLOOOOOOOPPED!

(It's about King Kong)

Ooh. I like the idea that the challenges are linked to the prize. The foundation of the idea is that it's a way of choosing a great leader, and the rest become human sacrifices, so as long as that stays intact, the back story would still make sense. The prize should really be a prize, but you're right that the ancient Indian idea of a prize could be very different from ours, and infamy is still fame.

And YES the last movie needs to bring back all the artifacts at once and go crazy. The fans should be like "But they used up all five artifacts in the first four movies, so what are they going to do now? Invent a new one?"

My What-if show pitch made me remember another idea I had that has a game element to it. It needs a better title, maybe, but the idea is that it is a series of horror movies in the Final Destination vein but with a back story and a thru-line more like Saw.

Now, I lack the gene that makes people enjoy splatter movies, so my initial try at an outline has a lot of blank spaces that say "And then XXX dies horribly somehow." But I thought this forum might enjoy helping to figure out the overall thru-line.

THE BACK STORY doled out over the first couple of movies:
1000 years ago, a South American Indian empire developed powerful magic to produce champions worthy of leading the empire... also: human sacrifices. This takes the form of contests in which several candidates activate a magic artifact that is conveniently shelf-sized and highly collectible by fans of the series.

Once they activate the artifact, the contest begins, and the candidates are supposed fight each other to the death. But whenever they aren't actively trying to kill the others, they also experience mortal dangers: falling rocks, cave in, animal attack, etc. The lone survivor gets a magical prize that depends on the artifact (picture these as small idols along the lines of the Raiders Hovitos fertility idol):

  • Tcholu—provides the survivor great wealth

  • Myamo—grants the survivor genius

  • Cozu—grants the survivor great fame

  • Tleza—grants the survivor irresistible charisma

  • Kpanyo—guarantees the survivor long life

THE MOVIE PLOTS:
The protagonists of the first movie just stumble across one of the artifacts when helping at an archaeological dig and activate it by accident. In later films, the characters sometimes purposely seek them out.

The interesting things about this are that A) there's an explanation for the predicament that can be figured out by the archaeologist. B) Some clues can be communicated by terrifying magic visions. C) The guarantee of a single survivor who gets a fabulous prize encourages the characters to turn on each other. There's fun to be had with:

  • Who is in the game and who isn't

  • Who knows the rules and who doesn't

  • What counts as playing the game the "right" way and avoiding mortal dangers

  • What counts as being "dead"

  • What happens if there are two games going at once

  • etc.

Since our heroes in the first film don't fully understand what's happening, most get killed by the mortal dangers before 1) they figure out they're supposed to kill each other and 2) someone gets greedy for the prize.

In later films, things get more interesting. The winning of the prize from the first or second movie doesn't stay secret. And a Richard Branson type gets some mercenaries to go after an idol of his own. Of course, he plans to ruthlessly kill off the other "players" immediately, but his plan goes awry....

In another case, maybe some soldiers stumble on an icon and make a pact to play the game "right". Or the winner of an earlier game comes back and purposely plays or intervenes in a later game. Maybe in the last movie, an ancient winner turns out to still be alive because his prize was long life; and now he's the president-for-life of the whole country. Maybe he's been in the series the WHOLE TIME.

THE QUESTION:
So my question is: what is the overall thru-line for the hook in each film and the prize in that film? Should the first movie's prize grant money? Or fame? Is charisma not good enough for one group of players and they activate a second artifact and play two games at once? Should the prizes be changed?

285

(164 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Doctor Submarine wrote:
Herc wrote:

It has taken me far, far too long to give Bob's Burgers a try. ... I heart H. Jon Benjamin's voice.

Seconded. Tina Belcher is one of my favorite TV characters ever.

I love Louise and Gene, then Bob and Tina, then Linda, Teddy, and the supporting cast.

Also, I love that they get stand-up comedians to do infrequent characters. It gets great talent and also supports people in what tends to be a feast-or-famine career. I also like that they don't use many celebrity guest stars; they almost always suck on The Simpsons.

286

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Trey wrote:

In the end, it's a surprisingly pro-Army movie.

Right! I was struck by how the sergeant was even 100% in the right the whole time until he invites Murray to take a swing at him. Even then he's not really doing anything fundamentally villainous; it's just our cue that it's okay to hate him. And then he comes back at the end and is basically a hero!

It was a weird time when America was a superpower and yet might invade your country using tourist maps (Grenada, 1983).

287

(7 replies, posted in Pitches, Fixes, and Rewrites)

Yeah, that's it. I don't remember them being ethical scenarios. But I do remember the moderator constantly changing the scenario. I found that annoying, but it was useful for the purpose. "Hard cases make bad law" tho, as they say.

For my TV show, it would be a looser format (not a real-time discussion in one room) interspersed with video enactments and animation to make it not so boring. Plus, you know, aliens and cavemen instead of telling someone their husband is cheating.

288

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Invid wrote:

You also have to consider it as a male reaction to Private Benjamin, and know the state of the US army about that time. As for the third act, it is almost as if they realized the basic training movie they wanted to make was only going to fill fifty minutes, and quickly flailed around for something else for them to do.

Yes! I think of Private Benjamin as an 80s comedy and Stripes as a 70s comedy, but PB was actually 1980 and Stripes was 1981!

Heartbreak Ridge, Full Metal Jacket, Police Academy all had the same problem, solved poorly (sending them to Grenada), well (sending them to Vietnam because the movie was set in that time), and adequately (sending them to help quell a riot).

The state of the US Army could have been played up a bit more even (the Army might just take a couple of 29-year-old losers in 1981 because Vietnam loomed large in the memory and recruitment was way down, just like the 2000s). But there's only one gag (albeit a very good one) where Cruiser introduces himself and says that his father and uncle (I think) were in the army, so he thought he might as well join before he got drafted. And Ramis and Candy share a hilarious look, and the sergeant painfully explains that there is no draft anymore (I think it ended in 73 and we exited Nam in 75).

289

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I watched Stripes this afternoon and realized that if you didn't live thru the coke-fueled, unfunny comedies of the late 70s and early 80s you might not be able to fully appreciate this hard-won victory for comedy. Murray and Ramis are gold, and John Candy, PJ Soles, and and Sean Young assist, but the script is up and down and off in different directions for each act. The premise is paper thin (two wise-cracking losers try to get their lives together by joining the army), and the third act is ridiculous. The wonderful Warren Oates and John Larroquette are under-written heavies. But the wise-cracks and many of the gags really are sharp, and no one delivers a monolog like Bill Murray.

Still love it but not as much as some others.

290

(7 replies, posted in Pitches, Fixes, and Rewrites)

Invid wrote:

In the 80's, PBS would occasionally air these shows...

Oh! I remember those. It was Bill Moyers, i think. I liked those a lot. I think they were mostly political scenarios.

Invid wrote:
Zarban wrote:

There has to be some "winning" scenario of course; but it would underscore how tricky it really would be to handle such a strange event.

Disagree there. There can be outcomes some define as "winning", but as in real life that could be different for everyone.

I just meant that it shouldn't be designed as a Kobayashi Maru. My two examples were both failure outcomes. But it's quite reasonable to posit that no encounter with aliens with hostile intentions would have a happy ending.

Happened to catch a show called "Alien Encounters 2" that posits a particular kind of alien contact and how the world might deal with it. It occurs to me that it would be kind of fun and perhaps funny to make a show in which a group of experts and/or regular people are presented with some off-the-wall scenario like the arrival of aliens and they basically role-play what they would do.

The producers would handle what happens as a result of the "players" actions based on the predetermined goals of the aliens or whatever. It would be interesting to see some people welcome the aliens and get their brains sucked out (there would be some animation and/or enactments of some kind) and other people attack the aliens and get destroyed. There has to be some "winning" scenario of course; but it would underscore how tricky it really would be to handle such a strange event.

Another scenario might be the discovery of dinosaurs or maybe a tribe of homo habilis on some remote island or something. Do we bring them to civilization? Study them in place?

Or maybe an asteroid is headed for Earth. What do you do?

292

(7 replies, posted in Off Topic)

iCatcher is actually the thing that convinced me to get an iPhone. I got the iPad and realized i wasn't limited to iTunes, and iCatcher had every feature I had always wanted in a podcatcher app, like autodelete and multiple playback speeds. It's even free.

293

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

http://newswatch.nationalgeographic.com/files/2014/03/the-grand-budapest-hotel-uk-quad-poster.jpg

Grand Budapest Hotel. Wonderful. Wes Anderson's take on an Ealing comedy, perhaps, but dripping with Old World style. This is the sort of thing that won't make a huge impact but will be treasured for decades by cinephiles. This is why I love film.

294

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I believe Mike might be willing to give the contrarian view of this cinematic masterpiece. I think the bold and adventurous child that once lived inside him is long dead, as with your friend.

On the other hand, I would be happy to explain the numerous and cavernous failings of The Monster Squad on request.

Oh, that's the one I'm thinking of then, not the sequel.  big_smile

I've heard that this is one of the good ones (altho no one has done a fan commentary for it). I've been meaning to catch up with it and the other early Godzilla movies.

Thanks!

I think I've said here before that Boondock Saints has long been on my check-it-out-at-your-convenience list, but it seems like the same people recommending it also recommended Bottle Rocket, and I hated Bottle Rocket*. But now it sounds like it has to be different and also interesting for other reasons.

Great episode!

* Sorry, Wes. I loved about everything else you've done.

I was astonished at how good Godzilla '14 was. Not that it was THAT good, but I was expecting Pacific Rim or less, and Gareth Edwards made a solid film.

The film tries a little too hard to get us to like the protagonist and not quite hard enough to get us to like Godzilla himself. (That ending is hilarious: the news ticker says "KING OF THE MONSTERS. SAVIOR OF OUR CITY?" And then Godzilla smashes his way across the city to get to the ocean.) But I couldn't pretend that I could do better myself.

299

(6 replies, posted in Creations)

Pretty charming in small doses. How scripted is this? On a scale of 1-10, I'm going to guess 3.

300

(8 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Interesting article about Victoria. It's sad to see so many politicians' knee-jerk reaction to innovation is to ban it and fine it (see also: Tesla in New Jersey).

"Uber could have avoided all of this if they had just come in and seen us three weeks ago" sounds a lot like "Do they not know we can be bribed with campaign contributions?"