351

(58 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Finally beat Hotline Miami the other day. I was terrible at it for so long, but for some reason it finally clicked and I breezed through the last ten chapters.

352

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

http://mountainx.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/under-the-skin-poster.jpg

Mas. Ter. Piece. Full stop. See this movie, guys.

353

(349 replies, posted in Off Topic)

No, you misunderstand. It's an ancient Lannister artifact, thought lost for ages after King Tommen II took it on his quest to Valyria and never returned. Trust me, it's canon.

354

(30 replies, posted in Episodes)

BigDamnArtist wrote:
Rob wrote:

It's interesting that baseball seems an easy sport to understand because people often say that it's one of the hardest to play well--hitting a round ball with a round bat is harder than it looks.

Well that's not really anything earth shattering.

Here's a metal stick and a little white ball. Hit the ball into a hole a couple hundred meters away.

Easy to explain, less so to do.

At least in golf the ball is stationary. In baseball someone throws it at you really fast.

355

(30 replies, posted in Episodes)

Basketball is the easiest sport.

Put ball in other hoop for two points. If you put it in the hoop from farther away, you get three points. You can run with the ball, but you can't carry it. You have to bounce it up and down as you move.

That's it. Actually, soccer is probably even easier than that.

356

(5 replies, posted in Creations)

Bahahahahahahahahaha amazing.

Edmund McMillen seems pretty good about not taking down fan stuff. Dunno about the other guy who's on Team Meat. Try sending him a Tumblr ask to make sure it's all kosher.

357

(30 replies, posted in Episodes)

This one's not in my iTunes feed either. Is anyone else having a problem like this? I can download it directly from the iTunes page, but refreshing does nothing. Weird.

358

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I haven't seen God's Not Dead, but I laughed my ass off at the trailer several times so I'm looking forward to it.

359

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

That's funny, because "demo reel" is exactly how I'd describe both Raid movies, especially the second one. At least CGI porn generally has a sense of humor and/or humanity. If you enjoy them, I don't want to take that away from you. But I think that this niche audience can spring for better.

360

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Couldn't disagree more. At least the fight scenes in the first one had a fluidity to them. Everything in The Raid 2 that isn't shot shaky handheld-style puts on a faux-Kubrick symmetry that makes it look "important" or "meaningful" without actually saying anything. Every cinematic element in these films is used for IMPACT and that's pretty much it. The first one is just barely more competent, if only because the camera movement feels deliberate and graceful.

I'm fine with martial arts as a genre. My complaint isn't so much "there's a lot of punching" as it is "there's nothing but punching, and all the punching is identical, and oh god I get it already please do something different."

Also lol at the suggestion that characters named "Hammer Girl" and "Bat Boy," whose names pretty much cover the extent of their personalities, are in any way developed or fleshed out. I sure WISH they were, though. They seemed a hell of a lot more interesting than Boring Invincible Protagonist Who Just Wants To Keep His Family Safe.

More than anything, though, these films are soulless, and I really can't get behind that. The violence is meaningless, and without consequence since every receiver of a punch/kick is a "bad guy" and our Boring Invincible Protagonist can get his fucking leg tendons sliced and still kick the shit out of the remaining bad guys.

361

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Just saw The Raid 2. Just as awful as the first one, and somehow more boring as well. A half hour in I was like, "I get it, he can punch really good and he's awesome because of how much he punches." After that, it turns into a carbon-copy of The Godfather inexplicably, right down to a character who's basically just Sonny without a conscience. Oh, and it keeps up with the punching. None of the fights are the least bit inventive or interesting to watch. I was pretty close to just walking out near the end because I was so sick of it.

But I think the first one's a piece of shit too, so what do I know.

362

(115 replies, posted in Episodes)

This one's still not on iTunes. It's not showing up for me, anyway.

It's the specific use of that language that makes me wonder, though. "Left her for another woman" doesn't feel like something you say about a man who kidnapped someone. It's a phrase you use about a man who has an affair with another woman. I don't think that the show (or the books even) have had characters use similar language to describe that relationship.

364

(115 replies, posted in Episodes)

Doesn't seem to be on iTunes yet.

Oberyn says that Rhaegar "left Elia for another woman." Rhaegar + Lyanna pretty much confirmed. Also, Daario gives Dany a blue rose. Dropping bits of that foreshadowing all over the place tonight.

But wtf was up with the Thenns? They aren't cannibals in the book. Aren't they supposed to be more civilized than the Wildlings? Seems weird to introduce them this way.

366

(349 replies, posted in Off Topic)

So that was pretty sweet.

367

(65 replies, posted in Off Topic)

That ending! Can't wait for next week. This season is a roller-coaster ride.

368

(349 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Digging this thread out in preparation for the new season, and also to shamelessly pimp the podcast that my friend and I just started. Just posted our first episode, talking about the first three seasons and what we expect going forward.

If you're looking for gimmicky hooks, I've read all the books and he hasn't read any of them, which means I found myself tiptoeing quite a bit in this episode. NO future spoilers in here, non-readers. I promise.

MAJOR FUTURE SPOILER, BOOK READERS ONLY Show
At one point he mentions that Catelyn's death was spoiled for him after someone mentioned "Zombie Cat," not knowing that she literally comes back as a zombie later on. I chuckled nervously.

369

(24 replies, posted in Episodes)

Thirteen feet?!? Do you live in the Batcave?

370

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

dj_bakerman wrote:

"The War Five Kings" Top Five:

1. Stannis Baratheon
2. Rob Stark
3. Renly Baratheon
4. Balon Greyjoy
5. J̶o̶f̶f̶e̶r̶y̶  Hodor

sorry but

http://i.imgur.com/OIiLlex.gif

371

(115 replies, posted in Episodes)

I love everything about all of this.

372

(3 replies, posted in Movie Stuff)

The funny thing about religious texts, including the Bible, is how much of human nature they take for granted. When Abraham is told to kill his son, the text doesn’t say that he was wracked with indecision for days. There aren’t really any characters in the Bible. The people spoken of are always conduits for God’s word or will and not much else in terms of personality. In fact, the most complex Biblical characters are the ones who don’t obey the word of God. Consider Cain, who is driven by greed and jealousy towards his more successful brother. Is he evil? No doubt. But his motives are more relatable than, say, Moses’, because I’m guessing most people reading this haven’t literally been contacted by God for a personal mission.

What I’m saying is that it’s difficult to make a Biblical movie about a Biblical hero without diving a little deeper and, yes, taking some liberties with the source material. Noah is told that everyone on the planet is going to die in a flood, and it’s his job to let them drown. When you think of Noah not as a character but as a person, you realize how damaging that must have been to his psyche. Most retellings of this story focus on the building of the ark, the herding of the animals, and the finding of dry land at the end. In Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, all of that takes a backseat to the human drama that surely must have happened if the story is to be believed. What must have been going through the minds of the people on that ark, the last members of a species apparently so sinful that they are worthy of mass extinction?

Well, actually, the movie takes a little while to get to that question. Noah is really two films, both of them in modes that Aronofsky is comfortable in. For its first half, Noah is an epic adventure of the Lord of the Rings variety, with the cosmic flavor of fantasy rather than the medieval one. There are breathtaking wide shots of desolate landscapes, ferocious sword battles fought in the rain and mud, and even mythical monsters in the form of fallen angels who are imprisoned in earthly bodies made of stone. Aronofsky displayed this genre previously in The Fountain, which in my opinion is his best film to date. That’s all while the ark is being built, but you can’t have a movie about Noah’s Ark without spending some time on that titular vessel. The second half of the film switches gears completely, and turns into the kind of intimate family melodrama that might remind you of his previous film, Black Swan. The movie pivots on a beautiful montage retelling the Biblical story of Creation, which takes place halfway through. The sins of the first humans weigh heavily over Noah, and they factor heavily into his actions in the film’s second half.

The rock monster angels of the first half are interesting theologically, but they really need a whole movie to themselves because Noah spends barely any time establishing them. That’s true of a lot in Noah, in fact. For a movie that’s nearly two-and-a-half hours long, multiple characters feel underdeveloped. It’s the rare long movie that actually needs to be longer to be more successful. It’s a shame, because there’s a lot of untapped potential in some of these undercooked characters and subplots. Noah’s son Ham (Logan Lerman) ostensibly has a major role in the climax, but the movie puts more focus on the things influencing him than how he reacts to those influences. The same goes for Noah’s oldest son Shem (Douglas Booth), who is a complete non-presence despite being one of only a handful of characters in the second half. The villainous Tubal-Cain (Ray Winstone) lays out his motivations pretty clearly early on, so we don’t need to delve into him that much, but even he is occasionally forgotten by the film.

To be fair, the film is called Noah, and at heart it’s a character study of him. Russell Crowe is a huge asset to the film, and he handles Noah’s slow slide into fanaticism with equal parts grace and intensity. The only other characters who are given real complexity are the female ones. Noah’s wife Naameh (Jennifer Connelly) struggles with her complicity in her husband’s actions, and is not afraid to fight him when she knows what he’s doing is wrong. Because Noah is so set in his ways, Crowe can’t give Connelly a lot to work with when they come into conflict, but Connelly is still very good. Surprisingly (to me at least), the co-lead of this film turns out to be Ila (Emma Watson), a girl taken in by Noah when she was a child who grows up to be Shem’s wife. Ila is found injured in the burning wreckage of her family’s camp, with a wound which renders her infertile. This aspect of her character is vital to the events of the second half of the film, and to its overall themes.

Many have taken a message of environmentalism from Noah, and while that’s certainly present, it’s really just one piece of a larger them. Noah is about man’s power over his surroundings, and whether or not humans have the right to do with those surroundings as they please. Noah starts out believing that man has no right to kill other animals for food or destroy the Earth for personal gain. He sees nothing special in humanity, at least nothing that makes them more important than any other animal. Tubal-Cain disagrees, stating that the lack of recent communication by God (or “The Creator,” as the characters say) means that humans have free reign to do whatever they want, and that The Creator created them to have dominion over all. Is either side necessarily right or wrong? Biblically, no, which is what makes their conflict interesting on an ethical level. When Noah reveals why he decided not to let any innocent people on board the ark, Tubal-Cain starts to seem like a more reasonable guy. Then again, his camp is an awful place where people trade women for meat, so it’s not exactly black-and-white.

These moral questions form the meat of Noah, even though they don’t really appear in the narrative until the ark starts floating away. There’s a ton of setup in this movie, and while it pays off everything that it promises to, there’s a lot more potential that it leaves untapped. For me, the things I liked about Noah outweigh the thinner areas of the script, but I can see why some people might be annoyed that there’s not quite as much depth to the material as they might have expected.

So maybe now you can see why many fundamentalist and literalist Christians are opposed to Noah. Not only is it a violent film, but its ideas about faith can easily be taken as an affront to religion itself. Do I even need to argue that this is a narrow-minded way of looking at both art and the world? Hopefully that’s obvious to you. Any outrage from religious viewers really comes from the fact that Noah doesn’t reinforce what they already believe and challenges them to more carefully consider the role that faith has in their life. On top of that, Noah really isn’t a movie about religion at all. It’s a movie about humanity, and how people should live their lives. It’s not pro- or anti-religion in any way, but it does act as a rebuke to the idea that morality can only come from religious faith. Aronofsky may have a penchant for grim films, but Noah‘s message is ultimately a positive one: Love is more important than faith. And no matter what your beliefs are, surely that’s something all good people can get behind.

373

(0 replies, posted in Movie Stuff)

There’s been a minor debate over the proper way to review Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac. While it was released in Denmark in a full-length five hour cut last December, the film has been split into two volumes for its American release. However, the volumes are being released in theaters two weeks apart from each other. To add to the confusion, each volume was released on video-on-demand services in advance of its theatrical release.

Is it acceptable, then, to review each film individually? Or should the film be considered only as a whole, despite it being nearly impossible to see it that way at the cinema?

Nymphomaniac is so firmly episodic in structure that it might indeed be better to review each chapter individually. Although the ending of Vol. 1 is abrupt and arbitrary, there is something to be said for viewing these films as two separate entities. There are things that they each do differently, a contrast that becomes much more palatable when the film is broken in two.

Von Trier anticipates this split early on in Vol. 1 when he references the number eight with a simple equation: 5+3=8. Here he refers to film’s eight chapters – five in Vol. 1 and three in Vol. 2, each with its own name and introductory title card. Even when viewed as a whole, von Trier tips the audience off to the fact that there will be a shift after the first five chapters. By the time Chapter 6 comes around, protagonist Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg) begins naming the chapters herself, cheekily adding her own titles in order to brighten the film’s tone.

Initially, the chapters and the title cards establish the filmmaker’s control over these characters and this story. But once the main character begins naming the chapters herself, that control is turned on its head. It’s in Vol. 2 that Joe begins to call out her companion, Seligman (Stellan Skarsgård), on his constant digressions; meanwhile, those diversions were the foundation of their dynamic in Vol. 1. In the first volume of Nymphomaniac, Joe is played in her flashbacks by Stacy Martin. In Vol. 2, Gainsbourg herself takes over that role. Again, there is a clear transformation between the two halves of Nymphomaniac.

There’s also something to be said for not reviewing this film at all. Von Trier doesn’t hide the fact that Joe is his avatar, and that Seligman is an art critic. Joe’s story is deeply personal, but Seligman is an intellectual. In his digressions, he attempts to relate Joe’s story to real life activities that he understands like fly fishing. There’s a not-so-subtle implication that approaching an emotional work with an intellectual eye is something to be frowned upon.

The final scene makes this far more explicit. In fact, von Trier seems to be teasing people who want to dive deep into the minutiae of his work. For instance, the film tosses out a handful of references to the number eight, as well as five and three, but none of them are connected and they don’t seem to have any relevance to the film. It’s as if von Trier is laughing at people who take him seriously.

It’s an odd way to treat the audience. After all, the people who are going to seek this film out are the sort of people who like to look at films on a deeper level. But Nymphomaniac is a comedy at heart, and a lot of the humor seems directed toward von Trier rather than at the audience. Each chapter is unique stylistically and formally. He shoots the entirety of the fourth chapter in black and white, and in the third chapter he switches to the Academy ratio to emphasize the claustrophobia of the scene. It feels as though von Trier is deliberately making the film as fragmented as possible so that we, the audience, can’t get ahead of it.

That goes back to the idea of the filmmaker relinquishing control to his characters, as von Trier does when Joe starts diegetically naming the chapters. It’s also evident in Seligman’s digressions, which von Trier takes care to visualize onscreen. This forces our attention away from the story, not only because Joe is halted in her retelling, but because the viewer is taken out of the flashback. Nymphomaniac is an unruly beast of a movie in every conceivable way, and von Trier doesn’t even bother trying to reign himself in.

Does the chaos ultimately come to anything? The fascinating thing about Nymphomaniac is that it doesn’t reveal itself until the bitter end. I’ll admit that the final scene initially infuriated me. It seemed to be a betrayal of all the thought I had put into the film up to that point. And then I realized that if Lars von Trier saw my reaction, he’d burst into laughter. Nymphomaniac is a joke. I don’t mean that as a negative adjective. I mean that it is literally constructed as a joke; there’s four hours of setup and then a punchline.

There are some extremely funny scenes in Nymphomaniac despite its otherwise despondent tone. But the real humor is entirely for the enjoyment of von Trier. Everything that this film has to say is geared towards how von Trier expected the audience to react to it. Its argument about how people hypocritically judge female sexuality is based entirely on the fact that we are asked to judge Joe’s actions from the very beginning of the film.

Von Trier wants so badly to get a rise out of people, and he allows his audience to laugh alongside him at the outrageous results. His punchline is a cynical appraisal of human nature, but the film remains deliciously pleased with itself. As wild as Nymphomaniac is, it’s hard not to get onboard for the ride.

374

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

The Social Network is a modern classic, and will be remembered long after the boring, poorly-directed King's Speech has been forgotten.

375

(26 replies, posted in Episodes)

I saw Patton Oswalt last night, and a comedian named Myq Kaplan opened for him. He joked that they should re-release this movie, but advertise it as "Groundhog Day 2."