HOLY SHIT!!! I just now noticed that the poster on the main page for this commentary is actually The Shawshank Redemption with Wanted on top of it, in awesome photoshop spectacularity!!!! SWEET!!!

Somewhere between 2 hours to 2 hours and four minutes, the commentary skipped ahead a bit. Not sure if that's an issue in the file itself or if it's some kind of problem on my end.

Also, "That alien butthole just exploded!"

I'm not a fan of some of the editing in DePalma's "Carrie". It's sometimes abrupt, choppy and downright unnecessary. Early in the picture, while a Teacher is talking to the Principal about Carrie, we cut to a shot of Carrie sitting outside the office, and then quickly cut back to the interior. It feels like a mistake to me, or maybe done to cover up a problem in the scene. Later, Carrie's mother declares, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" and then BOOM, we slam cut to the next scene! It takes me out of the movie every time and I'm left wondering why they didn't just do a nice dissolve?

Zarban, in the chat, didn't you say we should record our own Zombieland commentary for Sofa Dogs? I haven't received an email from you on the subject. Please get back to me when you're able so we can schedule a date and time.

Also, my birthday is coming up (the 23rd, I'll be 32) and DIF will be on hiatus. I am sadness incarnate.

When you guys are talking about the color correction process and digital intermediate, Trey says, "Lord of the Rings was the first film to really work at it and make it a process, whereas before you would just crank the orange knob to make something orange."

I so wanted to be there in the chat so I could make a masturbation joke. "My mom says if I crank my orange knob too much, I'll go blind."

Also, "If your stickling lasts longer than four hours, consult your doctor."

11 minutes into this commentary, I head desk out of frustration when Teague goes, "In the chat room..." and isn't able to finish, as I'm almost certain he was going to say, "In the chat room, johnpavlich mentions 'Roger Ebert didn't like this film, mainly because he felt it was a 2-hour, FX demo where everything happens.' He then asks, 'Why does that have to equal a bad film that's not worthwhile? By that rationale, you could call T2 a bad film.'"

Thankfully, I can now express this and pose the question to you all here. I find this film very creative, original and entertaining. I also think it's some of Michael J. Fox's best work. The Director's Cut is mostly unnecessary, as what was cut from theaters is just extended gags by the VFX team, being done basically because they could. However, the big scene with Jeffery Combs and his back story I feel is very crucial to understanding the character and the performance. That's the one moment where I feel the Director's Cut is superior over the more familiar version.

Hey DiF (and those who may also be interested),

Before the start of the episode proper, Dorkman was talking about my Screaming Pile of Crap art. I was just curious, but can you clarify which of the two versions you said you preferred? The original has a dpi resolution of 72 pixels. My main reason for redoing it was when Teague brought up the notion of putting it on a shirt (which kind of blew my mind, in a good way). He'd asked for a higher resolution to that end, so I figured I'd make one. The revision has a dpi resolution of 300 pixels, for cleaner line work that's not so jagged and pixelated. Plus, since I was working with a much bigger canvas this time (3600x3600 vs. the original 700x700), it allowed me to get more detailed and nuanced in the brush strokes. I made the teeth yellow to add an extra bit of color to the image and because I figured, "It's a pile of crap, of course the teeth are going to be kind of nasty!" I also added a glint of light to the eyes to make them look more like eyes, and less like nostrils (the shape of the top of the "head" seems to support this, accidentally so).

In the end, I'm pretty proud of both versions and I'm especially happy and surprised that DiF seemed to unanimously respond quite positively to it. I'm especially curious and excited about the possibility of this becoming a thing that someone would wear on a shirt! I only hope that if the original version is chosen, it meets the resolution requirements to look presentable on said shirt. Just because it IS a pile of shit, doesn't mean it should LOOK like shit. I can just imagine someone stopping one of you in the street or something, pointing at it and pulling a James Cameron, asking "What in the hell is that, and why is it so emo?" I only wish I could see their face when it's revealed to be a big, screaming pile of shit!

These "doodles" of mine take hours of time to do. Being that I'm declared legally blind by the state of Texas, I tend to work in increments, very close to the screen, lest my eyes become bloodshot and fatigued (which does happen to me when I'm editing podcasts for long stretches of time). In addition to having glaucoma, I also have a lazy eye. The optic nerve (which connects the eye to the brain) is twisted, so my eyes are not "set" right. I have to concentrate to use both eyes to look straight ahead. It's like being asked to flex a muscle and then hold it forever. Because of this, I am unable to watch films projected in 3D, though from listening to DiF (specifically on Avatar), it sounds like I'm not missing much. Besides, I like paying less than $10 for a movie ticket. On top of all this, I also have what's called a nystagmus, which is a persistent, rapid, involuntary and oscillatory movement of the eyeball, usually from side to side. Remember the scene in Fight Club when Tyler is addressing the audience and the frame/image starts shaking back and forth? Basically, it's like that. There's an actor named Pruitt Taylor Vince who also has it, and has managed to use it to great effect in Identity and Constantine.

I share these bits of information so you'll fully understand that these artistic eccentricities I do for DiF are done completely out of love. I'm a film nerd and a commentary enthusiast. Down In Front has provided me with so many hours of insight, entertainment and just plain laughs. It's helped me to better understand the medium of film that I love so much and to also become a better storyteller in many respects. I believe DiF has also made me better at my own podcast. As I'm about to begin my fifth year of commentaries in April, I will continue to turn to Down In Front in lessons on how it's done.

Above all else, DiF has introduced me to some wonderful people! Most other online communities tend to be highly populated with immature, cynical snobs riddled with an undeserved sense of entitlement. They're so negative most of the time, I have to wonder if they even LIKE movies! Down in Front is different. The people here are open-minded, friendly and supportive, ready to have discussions, not just arguments and they're smart enough to know there's a difference. Story time: Popping into the live chat for Legion, I discovered I was actually quite late to the party, catching the end of the discussion. Then, Teague announced there was no second commentary that day. I tend to plan my weekends around DiF when I can, so I was beside myself with nothing to do for the next 3 hours. In the chat, Miki and Ewing had the same problem, so we started a Skype conference and started talking movies. Before i knew it, the three of us were on Skype while streaming The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo on Netflix. The discussion was fun and it was as if I'd known these folks for years. The movie? Not so much with the fun. In fact, I kind of hated it but I digress.

Ewing had made the suggestion that we should have been recording during our impromptu "commentary". I decided to invite them along for an episode of my podcast. After sifting through Netflix, we settled on The Craft. You know, that teen horror about witches from 15 years ago? And while my cohorts may look back on that excursion in shame, I myself was actually quite happy with the end result for that episode. CUT TO: A little over a month later, I'm in my apartment, dreading the next few days before pay day, as I've run out of food and money. I posted my thrilling tale of woe on my Twitter and Facebook pages (like ya' do), really just to lament, not exactly talking to anyone. I figured I was just thinking out loud about my shitty situation.

Barely the next day, I discover a tweet from Miki, offering to order a pizza for me, so that I may live to Fight the Frizzies another day! After a quick question and answer session with Miki on Skype, I was stuffing my face with Papa John's Pizza within the hour! Let's review, shall we? Because of a chance encounter in the DiF chat room, I made friends with someone who barely knows me and we've never met in person, but still went out of her way to feed someone in need! How insane and wonderful is that?! And it all started with Down in Front! You won't find that kind of support and compassion in the Ain't It Cool News Talkbacks!

Nowhere near as concise and efficient as my Pulp Fiction story, but there you go.

These will do nicely, thank you. Anniversary present coming very soon.

Nachos? ....I don't think so.