I'll ask Mike, I'm assuming we're using his because I'm assuming he has them.

Okay, I just got back from seeing this piece of shit, and the more I think about it, the worse it seems.

There are a few general problems: the underwritten characters, the awful comic relief that makes you want to crawl under your seat in embarrassment, the Joel Schumacher-esque action scenes that are edited in such a way that you can't tell what the fuck is happening half the time.

And I have a few very specific problems as well . . .

Why, after establishing in the opening that Mary Jane can't sing for shit (how badly does Sam Raimi want to direct a musical?), does he then go on to have her sing again at the end? And who exactly dubbed in her awful singing voice? Because that sure as hell sounded nothing like Kirsten Dunst. Did they hold auditions? Wanted: girl with a tiny voice whose singing style sounds like reading from a phone book.

In the comics, Peter went to the bell tower to get rid of the symbiote because he knew the sound would drive it off of him. In the movie, he goes there because . . . well, because that's where it happened in the comics. No reason for it.

Is there anyone in the city that hasn't seen Spidey with his mask off at this point? Christ, he even stands right above a crowd that's waiting for him and watches with his mask off. Never mind that it makes no sense for him to remove his mask there, or that most of the crowd was looking up hoping to spot him on his way. Hell, they're all looking to the right, and he was off to the left, so I guess his identity's still safe.

Okay, so Peter forgives Sandman for killing his uncle. So he just lets him go? Doesn't he still have to go to jail for all the rest of the shit he's done? He escaped from jail, and killed who knows how many people in his rampage through the city. But no, Peter sorted out his own personal shit with him, so that's all that matters.

Put it this way: I own the first two movies on DVD. I bought them as soon as they came out. I'm not even renting this when it comes out. What a fucking waste.

am I right in assuming the next release will be Kill Bill 2?

No sir!

I mean, it could happen, but what if one of these four commentaries is awesome? What then? I make no promises.

This week we record: Inception.

I have yet to see anyone really capture Douglas Adams tone on film, which is a shame because I think that if we could find someone that could translate it well it would be an incredible thing to behold.

Is this one supposed to be showing up in iTunes?

Because it's not showing up in mine.