When you finished the last episode, did you notice how this season was identical to season 1? I did. The rhythm of the narrative was exactly the same. Peter became Doug, and the Vice-Presidency became the Presidency. At least in season 1 it was clear that Frank had a plan to become the VP. He becomes President through a convoluted, coincidental, and difficult to swallow series of events. In season 1 he had to work for it. In season 2, it falls into his lap. Are we supposed to be happy for him? If so, sorry, no dice. Walter White was a monster, but at least he was an emotionally compelling monster whose crimes always came back to bite him. Frank Underwood is a monster who gets away with everything, and the show goes out of its way to make sure that there's no possibility of his evil deeds becoming known. Hell, we spend half the season watching Lucas get oh so close, before getting locked up, never to be seen again. But maybe we're not supposed to pump our fists when he wins. The final shot of the season is fantastic. Even in victory, he's still ready to pounce, and you feel like he's about to reach through the screen and tear your throat out. He's a figure to be feared for sure. If this is the case, then the show is trying to make a point about how this is a morally bankrupt world and the good people all fail because they have honor. Game of Thrones does that too, but a lot more intelligently. And at least GoT has characters who are fun to be around. This grim vision of America isn't nearly as interesting as the show thinks it is, because it's so cartoonish and ridiculous. Raymond Tusk is a mustache-twirling baddie of the highest order. He crushes a bird in his fist because it wouldn't stop squawking. He's supposed to be Frank's only match, but the two don't face off all that much overall. He's just there to be evil, and so that we'll have someone to compare Frank to who can make Frank look better.

And don't even get me started on the ending of Chapter 24, because it's the exact moment when this show crossed over into Shitsylvania. Not only is it totally out of character for all three of the people involved, but it has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on the rest of the season. It's just there to be shocking. Speaking of which, Zoe's death was another shock value scene that was ultimately meaningless. It gave the whole season a sense of dread, and I was genuinely on the edge of my seat at certain moments. Too bad nothing ever actually happened. I felt so cheated at the end. There was nothing surprising about this season after Zoe fell onto those tracks, even though that pretended to herald lots more surprises to come. Frank becomes President. So? He's practically a superhero, is this supposed to be surprising in the least? And like I said, it's the exact same thing that happened last season. Oh, and by the way, what was up with all the dropped subplots? It's like a totally different writing staff took over for this season, and they wanted to correct the things they all hated about season 1. The woman who's suing Claire? Gone after one episode, never mentioned again. Zoe? Dead and forgotten by everyone except Lucas. Lucas? Away in prison for a long time, never mentioned again after he gets locked up. Hell, Peter Russo's extremely suspicious "suicide?" No one cares anymore. But apparently they really liked Rachel Posner for some reason I can't possibly fathom, so we spend an inordinate amount of time with her in a plot that has no bearing on anything else that happens. Funny thing is, though, I actually enjoyed her subplot best of all. It wasn't exactly original, but at least it was recognizably human. Everyone else on this show is a robot or a sociopath. Or both.

This was just so boring, looking back. Frank had been built up so much last season. I wanted him to face some real, genuine stakes in this one. I wanted characters who were real matches for him, and who had the means and the will to take him down. Watching Frank's political gamesmanship isn't interesting at all if he keeps winning. It's like playing a video game after you've unlocked invincibility and unlimited ammo. Sure, it's fun at first to have a crazy, unrealistic amount of power. But without any challenge, it gets old real fast. After the triumph of the Underwoods in season 1, you'd expect that it would all come crumbling down in season 2. Like, oh, I don't know, a FUCKING HOUSE OF CARDS.