I had a lot of fun with it tonight. It's quite goofy in spots, particularly the key climactic moment that was right out of a cartoon.

I actually feel like they didn't nail ANY of the main characters. Star-Lord was a little too goofy and self-aware for someone who grew up among pirates. Gamora was a little too nothing. Drax just didn't quite nail the acting. Rocket was fine, but I second the feeling that something was off and that Buscemi's nasally drollness would have fit better. Groot worked best, but the I-only-say-my-name thing made him basically Chewbacca (altho his stuff certainly gives the movie heart). And something about Ronan kept making me go "Nope. He's not selling the monstrous bad guy thing. He's just a guy in a costume."

The plot was such sci-fi babble that I didn't even understand what Benicio del Toro was talking about WHILE he was actively explaining it. (There's a small stone that will destroy a planet if it even touches it, but you can hold it in your hand for a little while?) And yet, I got the idea that Magic 8-Ball=bad and all those guys who want it are bad, so it ultimately worked okay.

I tell you one thing that I like a lot, and that was Karen Gillan as Nebula. I kept thinking "Who is this gorgeous, exotic babe playing the badass blue chick?"

And then you've got Djimon Hounsou, Michael Rooker, Glenn Close, John C Reilly, Peter Serafinowicz... They're like five Lando Calrissians. They're for us, they're against us, they're important, they're a distraction... I don't know.

Like I said, I ultimately liked the movie and want to see more of these characters. But it was all a bit spongy and too often crossed the line to being goofy, a line that Firefly (which this reminded me quite a lot of, as well as Doctor Who) skirted and always managed to avoid crossing.

I so agree. This should have been a pure horror comedy. Instead, it tries to become some kind of social commentary where the audience is asked to think about its need to witness gore, except it is 25 years behind the times and is attacking movies made in the 1980s and 90s instead of the kind of torture porn made more recently.

Plenty of people, like me, didn't even see this because we love gory horror; we saw it because Joss Whedon was attached.

Do your own thing, i guess, if it doesn't make more work for the editor. Feel free to provide takes in your native language for the international release. 

I'll look at the raw footage. The only things that come to mind are:

1) More lightsabers is better. Hooray! If you can manufacture another clash-and-lock moment, that would be great.
2) In the scene where Straya slips away from the probe, I was hoping to create a gag where she sneaks away, but then when she's gone, the probe slyly slides back into the frame and we know it spotted her. So, if there's a take where that gag works better, let's try to use it.

EDIT: wait, there's got to be a better take of Niken taking off his robes. And one where Straya delivers her first line more smoothly

It's certainly not a shame to lose most things, since most things stink. But (like the rainforest) there's no telling what might turn out to be of historical or artistic (or medicinal) value.

It's fun just to think of people 1000 years from now really getting into, say, MASH or The West Wing. We have only tiny snippets of most cultures from 1000 years ago. Scholars write whole books on Anglo-Saxon riddles. What will they make of 25 years of The Simpsons? ("We postulate that there once was a 2D film called Showgirls that was about female dancers and was considered a laughingstock. Sadly, this film has been lost to history, so we can't fully appreciate Homer's reference here.")

Here is the rough shot list in order.... I can update the storyboards if that would help.

01.    Opening crawl.
02.    Tilt down to planet Dantah.
03.    Straya sneaks along stone wall from left to right
04.    Straya calls master at stone wall ("It looks abandoned"). Tilt up to base.
05.    Probe droid flies in sky.
06.    Straya hides from probe droid at wall, slinks away. Droid reenters frame.
07.    Niken’s ship flies in space.
08.    Niken is awakened from meditation, activates wrist comm.
09.    Probe droid delivers message (OS of Niken).
10.    Niken dismisses droid message, reports to Darth Voyne.
11.    Voyne answers (OS of Niken).
12.    Niken reports. (“...probes have succeeded.).
13.    Voyne orders destruction of Straya  (OS of Niken).
14.    Niken confirms. (“She will not escape this time.).
15.    Straya creeps thru forest from left to right.
16.    Niken’s ship comes in to land in clearing.
17.    Straya stops to report to master. (“Too late! Engaging!”).
18.    Straya stands in woods (OS of Straya, “May the Force be with You.”).
19.    Niken’s ship lands. Niken exits, removes robes.
20.    Straya confronts Niken (“Your mission is foolish!”).
21.    Niken activates lightsaber.
22.    Straya removes robes, activates lightsaber.
23.    Niken attacks (quick exchange OS of Niken).
24.    Straya counters (quick exchange of OS of Straya).
25.    Niken presses but they break off (OS of Niken at first).
26.    Niken uses Force lightning (“...the power of the dark side!”).
27.    Straya resists Force lightning.
28.    Niken presses Force lightning. (whip pan in there somewhere).
29.    Straya fights off Force lightning (“...taught me to counter it!”).
30.    Straya Force-pushes Niken and stabs him.
31.    Straya starts to call master, hears Niken’s comm.
32.    Straya answers Niken’s comm.
33.    Voyne starts to speak (OS of Straya, “I am impatient...”).
34.    Straya replies (“Niken has failed.”).
35.    Voyne makes her an offer while Stray starts the tracking (“Join me.”).
36.    Straya refuses, trace is complete (“I will never join you.”)
37.    Voyne reacts angrily and ends comm (OS of Straya).
38.    Straya looks away. Tilt up to sky.
39.    Credits.

Sorry we didn't slate each take, but they are more or less in order. There are a couple of shots involving a gazebo thing that we abandoned, BTW.

Don't do this.

You will drive me mad with power.

/"separated"
//see? already pedantic with power.

That's utterly fantastic.

Change "evil Sith Lord - DARTH NIKEN" to "evil Sith lord DARTH VOYNE and his young apprentice DARTH NIKEN." Correct the spelling of "separated". And change the final paragraph to "Straya, a Jedi Padawan, has been sent on a mission to investigate a smuggler base on the remote planet of Dantah, unaware that her nemesis is once again on her trail...."

EDIT:

P-p-p-p-p-pleeeeease?

FASTER! MORE INTENSE!

There was brief consideration of a speeder bike chase....

I really had no idea what i was in for. I expected to shoot the storyboards in 3 takes. But there was an overwhelming number of great ideas and 50 crop-dusters and a bowl of cocaine and microphone problems and no spaceship ramp.

DEWBACKS AND GUNGANS

No wait A PODRACE