2,276

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

DorkmanScott wrote:

I wouldn't mind doing a BLADE RUNNER commentary so someone can explain to me what's any good about it -- without discussing the art direction or visual effects.

The film is about mankind coming to grips with the fact that we can create something genuinely greater than ourselves—perhaps even deserving of supplanting us. Its form is a film noir—where no one is entirely innocent—which allows its hero to fail and its villain to gain redemption without destroying the story. Great, great movie.

Except for the fucking unicorn. The unicorn is evidence that Ridley Scott is some kind of retard.

2,277

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Kyle wrote:

5.  George Thorogood and the Destroyers- I Drink Alone.
4.  Pat Benatar- Invincible.

George Thorogood became the King of Rock and Roll in 1977 the day Elvis died and held the title until REM killed rock and roll in 1988 with Green.

Pat Benatar doesn't get enough credit because of all the synth. There should be a whole album of cover songs of straight guys doing chick rock. And it should include "It's Raining Men".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGLZqDXau98

2,278

(1,019 replies, posted in Episodes)

beldar wrote:

Also, today's my birthday. 10/10/10. Eerie.

Are you also 10 years old? That would be eerie.

My sister turned 7 back in 7/7/77.

2,279

(93 replies, posted in Episodes)

Jeffery Harrell wrote:

As long as Shifty doesn't chime in, your question mark should have gone inside all the punctuation marks. As in:

"How many 'shits' could a shithead shit if a shithead could shit 'shit?'"

Question marks and exclamation points stay attached to the question or exclamation.

Teague asked, "Did he just say 'shit'?"

Was his response, "I'm going to the store"?

They all said "yes"!

My Penis played "Keep Your Hands to Yourself"?!

However, in linguistic writing, words-as-words are more usually put in italics rather than quotes.

Last, apostrophes never form plurals.*

I heard two shits. Learn your ABCs. Watch your Ps and Qs. Cross your Ts and dot your Is.


* Anymore. That was common 20 to 30 years ago, along with indented paragraphs.

Except for the piano miking, that's pretty much as good as anything needs to be.

2,281

(9 replies, posted in Off Topic)

That new press room link is spiffy.

pimp

2,282

(9 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I've already converted all the links on The House of Commentaries to the new form. However, I notice this glitch: if you click on a movie then click on its poster, you indeed get the permalink. But if you then click on another poster (or pretty much anything else), the URL doesn't change to the new permalink. This will inevitably lead surfers to sometimes link to the wrong commentary.

I say defeating the ancient HTML URL structure only results in heartache.

2,283

(35 replies, posted in Episodes)

Good work, guys! This was a terrific movie. The opening prepared me perfectly well. I don't buy that we'll be mining the moon for energy or that there will be good AI for a long time, if ever, so human cloning fits with that just fine. The magic beans are that this is a future where stuff you've heard about on NPR Science Friday maybe being possible has been made practical (altho what they're doing is really human copying, as you point out, which is less believable even than good AI).

I had a problem with the amount of sunk cost in the clone depository, tho. If you count the bays, there seems to be about 150 pods. There's no way they'd need that many clones before figuring out how to eliminate the need for a human operator. Given how difficult it is to move around and stay alive on the moon, it makes far more sense to remotely operate semi-autonomous robots from earth.

2,284

(15 replies, posted in Off Topic)

beldar wrote:

I suggest that Dorkman should scan the Cinefex's and turn them into PDFs. I'd love to read them. Or has some website already done that?

Teague never answered my question in the chat during The Core when Cinefx was mentioned: what is that stupid font they use? It's a display font being used for block copy; I used to have a knock-off of it ages ago, and I've always thought it was a bold, but decidedly unsuccessful, choice.

2,285

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Top 5 excuses to not attend school today.

  1. Already attended a different school today.

  2. Got the day off for helping the police catch some counterfeiters.

  3. Going to Space Camp at NASA, only they said that we are really going to the moon.

  4. Uncle died, and I have to go to the funeral and pick up his Ferrari, which he left to me.

  5. Donating part of my liver today so they can clone it and give it to Steve Jobs, because the doctors said I have the best one they've ever seen and his old one is rotting because he swallowed a spider and it was pregnant and laid eggs in his stomach and the baby spiders ate his liver.

Top 5 top science crap Hollywood keeps getting blatantly wrong.

Kyle wrote:

Whoah whoah whoah, Zarban.  Alcohol isn't especially addictive?

Sure, alcohol has serious physical addiction properties, but its ability to addict is pretty limited compared to hard drugs. Worldwide, a couple of billion people drink alcohol from time to time, and only a small percentage become alcoholics. Imagine a world where 2 billion people took cocaine now and then. You'd have about two billion junkies.

2,287

(1,019 replies, posted in Episodes)

johnpavlich wrote:

I remember hearing from Joss Whedon that he had a picture from The Blob of Shawnee Smith with a machine gun...

I always figured that guy had a weird porn collection. hmm

2,288

(50 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Brian Finifter wrote:

I love LOVE LOVE Edinburgh. Someday I will be rich enough to pick up and move the entire city - climate and all - to where ever I'm living at the moment.

I recommend moving it to Kentucky. Kentucky needs a big city; it's gorgeous, has about the right terrain, and mild weather. I've long said the only thing wrong with it is that it's filled with Kentuckians.

However, I want to make clear that while I fully support your plan, I will not be present when James Bond comes to stop you.

Some substances need to be controlled because they are severely addictive, because addiction takes away the free will that allows you to exercise good judgment and remain a responsible and productive member of society. It's one thing to be stoned for a couple of hours in a location of your choosing; it's something else to be sober but desperate for a fix and willing to do anything.

Anything that is not especially addictive—including marijuana and alcohol—should be legal. Anything that is highly addictive—including Oxycontin, cocaine, and heroin—should be illegal.

I'm flexible about nicotine on principle because hardly anybody ever went in for prostitution or armed robbery to get cigarettes, but as a product you sell to consumers that takes away their ability to choose not consume it, it's a comically bad product that amounts to purposeful fraud.

2,290

(3 replies, posted in Creations)

Ha ha ha! I'll buy that. But it can't be gladiatorial battles every time. The monster needs to have a little back story and a lair (the bonus there is that you can make up your own monsters and not be limited to folklore). And then you could sometimes have guest warriors help take down the particularly nasty ones.

Maybe one monster is dragged into the arena, but the next has to be lured out of its cave to fight in an open field. Another has to be gone after in its underground labyrinth. A werewolf might be disguised among guests at a party and have to be discovered and fought in the virtual mansion. A ruins, a factory, inside a car, under water—the possibilities are endless. Maybe he has to fight a minotaur in a china shop!

Oh, and the monster has to win sometimes. Rematch!

2,291

(68 replies, posted in Episodes)

johnpavlich wrote:

"I've never heard it described that way, but you've perfectly crystalized The Fifth Element. It's Blade Runner as done by Cirque du Soleil. It's wet, and French, and gay and on fire!"

In fact, I think that one deserves to be on the quotes page at zarban.com smile

It is. It gave me high hopes for something in the Belgian to Japanese range, as I have come to expect from Down in Front. But once I got to "There's not much to say about this movie" and "Now we're just quoting lines again", it was pretty much over. It wasn't bad; it just wasn't French, and nowhere near double-French (yes, my scale of 1 to French has a bonus rank).

2,292

(15 replies, posted in Off Topic)

downinfront wrote:

Heh. We had this conversation a week or two ago, about if aaaaaaanyone used the iTunes feed to get a file that they weren't going to watch on an iPod or in iTunes. People laughed me out of the room.

You can download the MP3 from the website, links occur weekly on Twitter, if you prefer to be notified.

I didn't laugh! I gave concrete examples of why I also want the MP3. And then you and Invid called me crazy.

[sniff] Just sayin'.

Gregory Harbin wrote:

*the more you know* it's not BEAST-iality, it's BEST-iality. Yup, pronounced that way too. *the more you know*

"Restaurateur" is like that. No N.

2,294

(1 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I don't know if others really know about these or care, but as a guy who really likes both cars and firearms, I find the Internet Movie Car Database and the Internet Movie Firearm Database really fun to browse.

I mention it because I just added links to the commentary entries on Zarban.com to both of those, via cute little car and gun icons, and I think it's kind of cool.

So now when you're on a commentary for The Matrix, you can instantly get a rundown of all the firearms used in the film. Or when you're on Transformers, you can instantly see the various vehicles used in the film. Even a lot of more fantastical sci fi films (Fifth Element) have entries that explain what weapons were the basis for the fantasy guns in the movie.

I figure, if you're interested in the nuts and bolts of a movie enough to listen to fans talk about it, you might also be interested in the cars and guns used in it.

This thread seems to have brought out the true level of nerdism of its posters.

Count me as another pot teetotaler (teepotaler?) who supports legalization. I don't have a vision of what a truly marijuana-tolerant society would look like but it can't be worse than one with beer commercials. ("Try Lucky Strike Green! The natural choice of discriminating smokers who appreciate a great-tasting mellow! Please smoke responsibly.")

2,296

(68 replies, posted in Episodes)

johnpavlich wrote:

Excellent commentary.

Really? They spend the whole time quoting lines and explaining the plot to Teague. Michael read the IMDb trivia page, and Trey is pretty good at guessing actors and art designers (and making smutty jokes).

[folds arms] On a scale of one to French, I give it a German.5. Hmmmph.

2,297

(54 replies, posted in Episodes)

BrianFinifter wrote:

It's Matrices all the way down, is what I'm saying.

Well, then he's actually in a Mandelbrot set, then isn't he? And, as a wise man once said, that's one bad-ass fucking fractal.

Seriously, tho, I'm totally on board with any version of Matrix 2 and 3 that brings the sexy back: computer hacking, parasitic bugs that are tracking devices, running away from things....

Also, as I see it, you have three choices as to what to do with Smith:
1) Make him the same super-villain as before
2) Make him a super-duper-villain
3) Make him turn friendly
bonus) hand-wave him away as deleted or corrupt

All these choices have problems. 1 and 3 are too easy on the protagonists; you pretty much have to amp up the danger for the heroes in act 2, and the sequel generally becomes act 2 in a larger story. So the villain of any sequel is almost always more powerful than the one in the first movie—but of course it doesn't have to be the same villain.

DoctorSubmarine chooses 1, and the Wachowskis chose 2. Lucas chose 2 for Vader. The Pirates movies chose 3 for Norrington, then changed to 1. Cameron chose 3 for Terminator.

I think 3 would work best for Matrix, provided that you actually had Smith be reassigned or reprogrammed and Neo went to him instead of going to the Oracle (which was all BS in the first place and which the sequels don't need), and Smith was actually weirdly neutral and basically harmless. How freaky would it be to see your nemesis from the first film essentially lobotomized in the sequels? Of course, Neo then needs a different foe in 2 and 3, and that, of course, is Smith's boss.

2,298

(1,019 replies, posted in Episodes)

Moon AND Chinatown? Awesome! Throw in Twins for a genetic-identity-mystery triple play!

2,299

(96 replies, posted in Episodes)

Aw yeah. Timothy Hutton is all "You loved Brain Bug more than me!" and Mary Tyler Moore is all "Yeah! Why can't you be more like Brain Bug!?" and Judd Hirsch is like "M.I. does the dying. Fleet just does the flying."

2,300

(4 replies, posted in Off Topic)

You're totally ripping off Surrogates with that photo.