in the ICU mainly for observations and the epidural. The epidural didnt work and only effects my legs and not much of my bowel. so they pumped a hell of lot more in. Means im in agoney and cant feel or move my legs. Its a horrifying thing straining with your mind to wiggle your big toe/ legs and nothing happens. They removed a lot more than the first planned of my bowel cos it was i flamed.not gonna lie. This painful. Aaarrgg.

Been thinking of you all day, mate. The only way is up from here!

Hell yeah! High! Good!

SOLID FOOOOOOOOOD! YES!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...well to this first part of the process. I have to admit, and most probably down to the epidural drugs making me super emotional in the ICU, I couldn't see an end to all this. It's the lowest I think I've ever felt. But being back on the ward and eating solid food and drinking all the cups of tea - ALL OF THEM, I feel fantastic. Though, I'm still getting used to having 2 feet of my guts being removed and I'm a bit iffy on my feet. The evil physiotherapists are kicking my butt getting that sorted though. The only thing keeping me in hospital now is getting my weight and strength back up, being able to walk up stairs ('cos I live in an upstairs flat) and being signed off by the Ileostomy team after proving I can cope with it by myself. Then, I'm home bound. Woooooooooo.

If all goes well, some time down the line, an ileostomy reversal. This is providing that the Crohns has died down and doesn't flare back up. Then, normality... ish. I'm gonna have a life of keeping the Crohn's in check. Either, and this is how I intend on going, drug free and regular tests to make sure it doesn't flare up (and a return of Modulen) or, a series of steroids which have their own issues and side effects to deal with. At least, I should be home soon.

Edition: the meal replacement isn't completely gone... the dietitian is having me drink this high energy high calorie Fortijuce stuff but since I weigh 48 kilograms I'm not gonna argue with him.