"Fugue For Zarbans"

*clears throat*  *blows pitch pipe*    A-five six seven eight...

You bet on John MClane
or you'll get buttf*cked, Dwayne
He's got a Zippo that can detonate an aeroplane.
Die Hard
Die Hard
The FBI's a bunch of friggin' tards
But McClane is a real Die Hard
Die hard
Die hard

And now here comes Hans
He wants those bearer bonds
He brought a multi-ethnic strike team and two German blonds 
Just so
Theo
can crack the giant safe with all the dough
But McClane he just says ho ho ho
Uh oh
Bye, bro

Ellis ain't no white knight
Powell crashed his black and white
McClane's got no shoes and he's afraid of heights
Yip-pee
Ki-yay
You're about to have a real bad day
If you make fun of John McClane's toupee
Yip-pee
Ki-yay

You will regret you laughed
You'll soon be understaffed
When McClane's up in your ventilator shaft.
Die Hard
Die Hard
You can call him Roy Rogers, pard
He doesn't care if he gets bloody and charred
Die Hard
Die Hard

I tell ya, this McClane
He can be inhumane
Just ask the Russian ballet dancer hangin' from a chain
Die Hard
Die Hard
That dude is a real Die Hard
Even when his feet are full of shards
Die Hard
Die Hard

And if you touch his wife
McClane will end your life
With just one bullet, like Barney Fife
Die Hard
Die Hard
So if you ever drop your guard
You'll be a stain on Century Boulevard
Die Hard
Die Hard