(109 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Could have got Ian Holm. Could have got Lance Henriksen.

Would have made more sense than old man raisin-face makeup.

I prefer Red Planet on account of the cute robot dog. The dog is my favorite part of the movie.

Rover. That's hilarious. See, cause we call them 'rovers' cause they...  rove...  but "Rover" is like a cliche name for a dog, see... so... "Rover"...

And Val Kilmer.

Just watched Dante's Peak. Having never seen it before, I can confirm that it is indeed better than Volcano, in much the same sense that Transformers 3 was better than Transformers 2.

Well, it was the movie "Contagion", so I dunno how happy the ending would have been...

I ended up watching the 1997 classic "Volcano" starring Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Heche instead. She needs to be in bigger movies, cause I like her.

Man, how come random movie-killing scratches on DVDs always happen right at the end of the fucking movie?

You would feel different. A lot of it has to do with what movies you grew up on and were surrounded by. I grew up on Star Wars, Close Encounters, ET, Alien and Jaws. If you grew up with Jurassic Park, ID4, Stargate and Home Alone, then Episode One probably fits right in.

But, personally, while I like Jurassic Park (for the most part), I hate every single one of those other ones. Just a totally different approach to how to tell a story. There's a fundamental difference in those movies, beyond just acting or editing or whatever.

EDIT: But then, I don't know how old you are, either. That's just my own history.

I still haven't seen the Apes prequel, but I think X-Men First Class was easily better than any of the star wars prequels.


(109 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I kinda liked Cowboys Vs Aliens, to be honest. Aside from the side characters having really cliche arcs and the unnecessary revelation of a second species of alien, I dug it. It's not a great flick, but it's not insulting or anything. I would like to hear a DIF commentary about that flick so I can understand better why people dislike it so much.


(133 replies, posted in Off Topic)

That is an interesting read, but they've sacrificed their story on the alter of empty metaphor. Even if all of that is true - and it seems likely - why are you telling me that? Why are you making all of these connections between prometheus, jesus, the engineers and shaw? Just putting them there doesn't mean anything in itself. Why did you try to cram that into the alien mythos when you could have made it a completely different movie and probably had it make more sense?


I'm guessing they used Pearce as Weyland so they could later have a younger Weyland in one of the next movies? Or maybe his son? Or maybe a robot that looks like him or something?



(109 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Yeah, it would be cool to try to take the various elements of this movie and rewrite it into a movie that does things properly. There's no sense of things spiraling out of control, no building of dread throughout the movie. These are things that the first couple of alien movies did amazingly well. Every scene upped the stakes more and more. In this film, there are scenes that have a sense of terror to them, but there's not really a single thread of dread going through the whole thing. Things don't escalate. The stupid people do something stupid and something bad happens. Then they do something else that's stupid and something bad happens again. It really is typical horror film bullshit.

The first alien had them trapped first on a planet until they fixed the ship. While doing that they investigated these ruins. Then one of their guys was... injured or something, and they let the biological weapon thing onto the ship. While they monitor their injured friend, they finish repairs and take off.

Then the creature seems to die, their friend seems no worse for wear, and they all kindof assume that the worst is behind them. Have a nice meal, take a shower and head back to hypersleep so they can get back on the road to wherever they were originally going.

Chest burst. Stuck on a ship with some kind of creature that keeps getting bigger and deadlier, crawling around in vents and shit. Kill this guy, kill that guy. Robot goes bonkers. Fine, let's get on the emergency pod, blow the ship and be done with it. YOu guys get the supplies, I'll blow the fucking ship. Oops, you guys died. Sucks. I'm still going to the pod. Oops, the alien is between me and the pod. Well, maybe I should delay the ship's self destruct until I get an opening. Oops, too late. Now I've got a ticking clock to get to a pod that we all know has an alien right in front of it and then I have to get far enough away that the resulting ship explosion doesn't blow me to shit.

Oh hey, the alien seems to be gone. Oh wait, it was gone because it got onto the fucking pod! Now I'm trapped in a tiny fucking pod with a thing that will kill me if it realizes I'm here. Let's build tension for the next five minutes before - oh shit it saw me! HIT THE BUTTON! Blown into space. The end.

In this movie:

Oh no! The ship is.. no wait, the ship's fine. We land ships great.

Oh no! There's a sand storm! well that was tense for a minute. Good thing it had no other effect on the ship or crew at all!

Oh no! A couple of guys got attacked by a thing and killed! Well...  we can't be bothered by that cause this dude's sick, and OH NO He's turning into some kind of no...  no wait, we just burned him. OK. cool. But the other guy comes back and starts fucking some shit up and oh wait...  yeah, we burned him, too. OK...

OH but now the girl is sick and the evil robot is...  uh...  actually, his plan is kinda sensible. We can't do the operation and should hypersleep you to earth where you can be fixed...  yeah...  ok, that's actually a good plan...

But fuck that plan, I'm going to have a machine do my surgery! And it does, and then... that's over now. I've just had a massive hole cut into me and had a bit of me ripped out. Let's go hiking back to the ship! I can totally run, why wouldn't I be able to? I've got some painkiller sticks. Totally fine.

The ship is crashing. Let's run in the worst possible direction to ensure that both of us die! Oh, wait, that's a dumb idea! I'm gonna roll to the left a bit! But then the ship lands on Rooney and she's saved by a bit of rock that keeps the ship from crushing her to death. Uh..? So if someone drops a battleship on you in the desert, just find a little rock formation to lay next to. You'll be fine.

And then there's another scene where an alien thing goes after Rooney, but then is attacked by another alien thing and literally fucks it in the face to death.

Each of these scenes is entirely isolated. There's no build of tension throughout, it's one tense scene followed by another tense scene, and the tension is defused by the end of the scene. Things only start getting really difficult toward the end of the film. They could just fly the fuck away at any point up until they crash the ship. The aliens have made a bunch of things that have killed several of your people, not to mention killed the guys who made it in the first place. RUN THE FUCK AWAY! Oh there's one of them still alive in cryosleep? RUN FASTER!

Oh, the alien was decapitated by this door. That's interesting. Oh wait, why the fuck are they running? Are they being chased? By what? Did the rest of them go into that cargo hold thing? If so, where the fuck are they? They're not in the cargo hold where the one guy got his head cut off. Why do they have a panel on the wall that is able to play back a single chunk of horrifying 3D interactive video bullshit? Why is the panel covered in goo, and what does that goo do? Is it part of the panel? Does it make the panel work or something? Like oil? If it's a panel to record shit, who the fuck hit "record"? If it records everything, why the hell did they only get playback for that one bit?

This movie is like a brain virus that I can't stop. Someone make it stop!

I can see Lindelof and the other guy working on this, and their ideas are kinda sound. The whole bit about how humans get uncomfortable when robots do things humans can't? Then the reaction that the Engineers have to the humans they made? Cause they're not exactly the same? Get it?

The part where the guy's all "I wanted to ask why they made us" and the robot's all "Well, why did you make me" and the human's all "Cause we can". Great bit. I like that idea. But then the robot's all "wouldn't you be disappointed if that's what you heard from your creators" and the guy's all "You're a stupid robot and I'm a person. Totally different".

LOL OMG Humans are so racist against robots, right? We treat them all like crap, and even the good guys in the movie are all "you're just a stupid robot, robot, so shut the fuck up!" So true, man.

YOU GET IT!? The Engineers see us as just stupid robots! They think of us the way we think of robots! OMG it's so deep and shit!


I need to get drunk.


(109 replies, posted in Off Topic)

It gets worse. If they were going to wipe out humanity with bio weapons, why would you go to earth to have ancient humans paint dots on the wall instead of either nuking the planet or infecting them with the bio weapon while you were there? Also, why would you make people in the first place if the goal was to then eradicate them? Also, why would you want to eradicate humanity by replacing them with a far more dangerous form of life? The Engineers are easily capable of killing the shit out of humans, but as we see at the end of the film, they are apparently no match for the resulting mini Lovecraft vagina tentacle monsters the bio weapon produces.

But you can rationalize this a bit: They're aliens so they don't think or act in ways that we'd find logical. They may have some kind of plan. Or maybe these guys are some kind of terrorist group that hates the fact that their kind are going around seeding life on other planets, so they set up a trap to kill off the races they've seeded with some kind of bio weapon. Whatever.

The problems I have with the movie revolve around David and the 'humans' on the ship. None of them are real characters.

The alien ship is taking off. We need to stop it. What's Plan A? Ram the only space ship we have into it, killing the three of us. Interesting. How about we try something else first? Or maybe we can cripple their ship by having our ship land on top of it, or by smashing the side of our ship into it's propulsion systems. As opposed to just ramming straight-on, cockpit-first into the thing. So that there might be some slight chance that we could possibly survive.

And let's not let this most important decision we've ever made in our lives have any sort of emotional impact on us. Just another day at the office, really. Well, the boss wants us to kamikaze into the side of an alien ship again. And they lowered our benefits last year, too. Buncha jerks. I might just hand in my letter of resignation after this trip. *crash*

Going back a bit further, we've got the revelation that the old guy is still on the ship. This is supposed to be a revelation, even though this is clearly what's going on due to the prior "David talking to some mystery figure in a hypersleep chamber. Which has it's own logic flaw of "how the fuck do you talk to someone in hypersleep", but they kinda wave their hands at that with the whole "i can see your dreams" bit, so fuck it. Anyway, Lisbeth walks into sick bay and there's the old guy and she's all "Oh, you're here too? Huh." I didn't get any sense that it was some kind of big deal. It didn't feel revelatory, possibly due to that scene, but just the way everyone is so blase about it in the room. How did no one else on the ship know about it besides Theron and David? And the medical guys? Like... No one noticed that they had a half dozen medical guys on a ship that otherwise had only a dozen other people on board? Doesn't seem weird at all?

The Engineer's ship just crashed. What's the first, most logical thing to do after your ship has crashed? Go kill the scientist bitch, right? Even though that guy had no clue where the fuck she was, and had no real reason to go try to kill her.

Further, how the fuck did he get there without some kind of breathing apparatus? If they need the keep their ships set up with an earth-like atmosphere and the humans - who share the same fucking DNA, apparently - can't go outside without helmets and breathing apparatus, how did he get to the ship? Better question, tho, is why the fuck didn't he go to one of the other alien ships that were all lined up and waiting for someone to just hop on board and fly it to earth?

You've got probes that go around picking up life-forms that apparently didn't pick up the life forms in the soil in the room as soon as they opened the door.

You've got David concocting some kind of scheme to have an alien baby put into hypersleep while still in the womb so it can be brought back to earth. Why? Did the old guy tell him to do that? WHY!? To make it a weapon or something? They don't know what the fuck it is! I can get why they'd want to do that in Aliens, and I can get kinda why they'd want to do that in the first film, although I kinda assumed that the droid just went fucking batshit in that movie. However, in this film, the thematic ideas presented kinda make you wonder if the androids aren't trying to do to humans what you assume the Engineers were going to do. They're sick of being second-class citizens and they want to use this alien species to kill off all humans. That kinda fits with the first movie's robot as well, and possibly MOTHER's motives, given that if this film is correct, then MOTHER must somehow figure out all of this. It's making me think about it too much and breaking things in the first movie and every subsequent movie where the robots aren't acting that way.

The old guy clearly just wanted answers, or to be fixed by these aliens or something, but the robot seemed to want to kill everyone on the ship for no particular reason. He also doesn't do a very good job of hiding the fact, given that he sticks the alien jar thing in the fridge with transparent doors.

The geologist guy, when he first goes into the alien structure, acts like he's about to have a claustrophobic breakdown or something. When that happened in the movie I was like "Well, you were stuck on a space ship for a couple years, so that's kinda weird." Then he blatantly says "I'm a geologist". At this point I was like "You're a fucking geologist? Do you do that in between playing bass with your punk rock band?" The guy doesn't act like a geologist, and makes his weird nervousness about being IN that place even weirder. You're a geologist and you're not used to dealing with enclosed spaces? Wait, you're a geologist and you've not once said something like "huh, these rocks are kinda cool" or ANYTHING!?

The biologist guy finds an alien life form on another planet and immediately tries to interact with it without knowing a single thing about it other than the fact that it looks like a penis with a vagina face. How does he interact with it? He sticks his finger in front of it's... vagina? Mouth? What the fuck am I looking at, here? Is he about to get his finger bit off, or is he about to sexually molest a worm? What the fuck, creature designers?

David gives that guy some contaminated booze. Guy drinks it, then fucks his wife, implanting her with some kind of creature. Had she not cut the creature out of her, one can assume it would have bursted out, yeah? Out of her womb? Not out of her chest, tho. Anyway, following that logic a bit, let's say that some Engineer drinks a little bit of that stuff. Did he then get his cock sucked by the Engineer in Alien that we see dead with a chest burster type damage to his... suit (no exoskeleton... ok...)? So that his... throat or stomach or whatever is impregnated? Wait, if the aliens take their shape from the things they replicate from, how the fuck do they have exoskeletons? Or acid blood? I guess the acid blood could be from the stomach acid? Cock sucking is the only thing that makes sense, here. The Engineers apparently swallow. Maybe the alien next impregnated a lobster or something and got the exoskeleton that way.

"That's because I'm a human being and you're a robot." Worst line in the movie.

Lindelof's method of writing seems to be to come up with a bunch of scenes that would be cool and cryptic, and then write scenes in between those scenes that serve as an excuse as to why the last scene makes sense or why the next scene is about to happen.

Cool scene where they're running from a cloud of silicon ... rocks... that, OK, why the fuck was that scene there? They pilot dude was like "oh shit bros, get back to the ship or y'all gonna die in this dust cloud thing" and then you're all "oh shit I hope they don't die in the dust cloud thing" and then they get caught in the dust cloud and nothing happens, and then those two guys are still in the thing and nothing happens to them... So why the fuck is that dust cloud thing an issue? Lose communication? They keep communicating with the guys all fucking night, telling them about the life form and where to go and all that shit. I would understand if they had to move the ship or something and thus stranded them all there for a while. I could understand if those silicon chunks had been like little flying razor blades and cut them all to bits. But it was just a chunky version of a dust storm with strong wind.

In the first couple alien movies, that would have crippled the ship, killed one of them, doused communications and created a sense of being trapped and isolated. In this movie it just kept the two stupidest guys trapped in a structure where they then flip-flopped from being completely idiotic to flying into hysterics for the slightest reason.

"I believe in things because that's how science works. I'm a scientist."

The real reason this pisses me off so much is because you could SO EASILY have made a bad-ass movie out of this. I had like a dozen different possible ideas in my head before watching this. Things they could have done. Aliens made us was one of the things. The aliens being a doomsday weapon to use against humans was one of the things. You could make that work logically and have an actual reason for that to be the case. Or you could have had these guys entire home world be destroyed by the alien creatures after having discovered them during their explorations. Our future destruction would have been preceded by their previous destruction. An advanced race whose goal is to push their boundaries and explore succumbs to a horrifyingly primitive one whose only instinct is survival and multiplication. The ship they find is crashed and maybe there's a survivor or something living in cryostasis. Give one of the intelligent aliens the same sort of backstory that Ripley had in Alien 3. Just pick it up without the prior movies to give it some mystery.

But this movie fails in just about every conceivable way. The dialogue is unbelievably bad, the characters are either completely flat archetypes or fucking bipolar, none of them act like scientists to the point where when you are blatantly told that they are scientists you say "what the fuck? those dudes are scientists?", the questions it poses aren't thought-provoking questions about humanity or life or religion or science, they're cryptic guessing-game questions where any answer that seems to be correct is totally illogical or nonsensical.

I haven't seen Lawrence of Arabia, tho. Maybe the movie makes complete sense if you've seen that flick?


(133 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Did the film critics all get together and agree to punk everyone by pretending this movie is a near masterpiece of sci-fi brilliance, or are 74% of the people getting paid to write film reviews just out of their god damn minds?


(133 replies, posted in Off Topic)

OK, I just got back.

Fuck Damon Lindelof.

Who the fuck is this guy and what has he done with Ridley Scott?

This movie is terrible. Every five minutes I wanted to scream "WHO THE FUCK WRITES THAT AND WHY DID YOU FUCKING FILM IT!? WHAT THE FUCK!?" This is one of the most poorly written things I've ever - EVER - fucking seen, but I have to wonder how Scott could have possibly thought that this was even a serviceable script.

Though I guess it's not quite as bad as Alien: Resurrection.


(133 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I'll be seeing it in about an hour. Be prepared for the resulting wall-o-text.

... inside a spoiler tag, I guess...


(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Invid wrote:

Usagi Yojimbo. The only furry animal comic you need to read, about a samurai rabbit in Japan. Stan Sakai uses such simple lines to convey so much emotion and detail...



(449 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Holy shit that movie looks great, but they just showed me the whole fucking movie.

It's getting to a point where I don't want to watch the fucking trailers at all anymore so I don't get major spoilers for the movies I'm gonna see.

I started watching the Asylum's version of Snow White last night and stopped half way through because it was so god damn boring. I know they're mostly aware of how schlock their films are, but someone needs to tell their directors to stop making dull shit. The last several I've seen have been hard to watch, with the Three Musketeers being the only exception. I've not seen Lincoln Vs Zombies yet, tho, and Brad Jones apparently loved it a lot, so I'll have to check that one out.

When I first heard they were making a movie called "The Raven" about Poe, I was hoping for a biopic, cause the dude lived a really tragic life that would make for a very compelling story. After I saw the trailer I lost interest, but the visuals looked pretty good. Haven't seen it yet, tho. My parents liked it.

My parents, however, have horrible taste in film. If it shows up on netflix instant I might watch it just to see how bad it actually is.


(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I give you permission to just read the first book from Sin City and just skip the rest. Or just watch the movie and you've essentially seen the first couple-three books... I'm still kinda pissed off at Frank Miller for getting all Frank Millery on The Spirit.

A couple more comics to check out, though these aren't single books...  these are series and you should start at the beginning:

Blade of the Immortal - Manga set during the Tokugawa period of Japan about a dude who becomes more or less immortal (less, actually) and a girl who's looking to get revenge on a guy who is one of the greatest swordsman alive. The series starts out in a very action-oriented sort of way, but the author keeps injecting all of these characters who all have conflicting philosophies into it. The series is coming to an end in the US now. I think book 25 will be the last... not sure. The artwork is really good at the beginning and in the current books it's fucking incredible.

Powers - What happens when you're a homicide detective living in a world where there are these guys who have super powers running around? How do you perform an autopsy on Superman, and how the hell are you supposed to arrest the guy that killed him? That's the basic premise of this book. I will not lie, the first couple books are a bit rough around the edges cause they weren't really sure how to handle the concept, I think. They hit their stride by the time they get to the third volume, tho, and the series overall is very compelling. One of the few comics I've ever read where I fucking HAVE TO KNOW what's going to happen next.

Word is they're about to shoot a pilot for a possible TV series based on Powers. That would be bad-ass.

Any of Brian Micheal Bendis' books are great, tho. He wrote a few graphic novels a while back called "Goldfish" and "Jinx" and a true-crime fiction comic called "Torso". Jinx is unarguably the best of the three.

Mr. Blank - If you can find a copy of it, get it. It's great. Action / comedy / sci-fi / fantasy that has a much larger scope by the end than it does at the beginning. Also has some of the funniest writing I've seen in a comic. I dare call it "Whedonesque". At least as far as the dialogue is concerned.

And as far as regular old book readin' goes, check out "Ten-Cent Plague" by David Hadju. It's about how the comicbook industry fell apart in the 50's in the US. If you look at today's culture, you could compare it to how senators and parent groups are out there arguing that violent games should be banned because they corrupt youth, etc. You can, through the history of comics, see what happened when that argument actually won.


(126 replies, posted in Off Topic)

It's not contagious, and apparently they think they've found and treated the source, though it's apparently very difficult to culture that particular bacteria so it could be over a week before they're certain.

So you probably don't have to worry much unless you live in the area they're talking about.

In other news, the Trololo guy died sad

If you had some mates and a DSLR, some lights, makeup and some time, you could make The Horseman. I know I've posted the trailer a few times already, but the movie is really good. It's super low budget AND good. I think the biggest "stunt" thing in the movie is they burn down a house (all you see is smoke pouring out the door... you just kinda assume it's on fire). The rest of it is a dude in a van, dudes yelling at each other in various Asylum-style generic offices and dudes being tortured / beaten in what is most likely the actor's own homes / garages. Total cast of maybe a dozen people + some extras in a couple scenes (who could probably be the same dozen actors with jackets and hats on...)

That's the sort of movie these web guys should be trying to make. You don't need special effects to have an intense action / drama.

Also, there are a lot of movies from the 60's and 70's that have maybe a couple scenes that your modern low-budget crew couldn't handle like car chases or whatever, but you could probably make most of the films out of that era today for next to nothing. Bring that shit back. Real acting. Smaller films about people in buildings with problems that are compelling and real and not people getting shot and elaborate fight scenes. How many elaborate fight scenes have you seen in the last week in real life? How many shoot-outs and car chases? How many giant robots?


(44 replies, posted in Episodes)

Battleship is one of the funniest things I've seen so far this year. The bluray for that is going on my shelf right next to US Seals 2.


(44 replies, posted in Episodes)

Well, I haven't listened to the episode yet, but I assume based on Teague's reaction to the film that it wasn't received particularly well by the panel at large. I dunno how I missed the live show, and I feel bad about that...

Anywho, I saw it and I thought it was OK. I have a longer writeup in the "random movie talk that blah blah" thread. I'm gonna guess that I liked it more than you guys, tho. I think it was Theron, her brother and the notion of giving her a bit of a tragic backstory thing that gave me that interest, though I wish they had acknowledged that at the end of the film instead of having Stewart basically just shit in her face with that last line.

I think it would have worked better if they had given Snow some kind of internal conflict to deal with. Or if they had given ANYONE some internal conflict to deal with. There really was none to speak of. The queen's brother seemed to have doubts in a few scenes, but never acted on them. The huntsman / prince / snow triangle could have been interesting, though that would have probably ended up feeling very Twilighty. Maybe have the prince grow up resenting his father's decision to flee, and have that resentment fester for ten years turning him into quite a dark fellow and not a heroic champion of goodness.

Oh well. I love the Mononokesque scene, and the abrupt end to it.


Executive Decision kinda does that as well. They set up Seagal to be the star who's gonna get on the plane and save the day, and then they kill him off before he can make it on the plane AND the scientist guy who knows how to defuse the bomb or whatever gets paralyzed. Didn't they also shoot fake bits for the trailer for that as well? So that the fact that they killed off Seagal was more of a shock?


(109 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Nice spreadsheet, tho I'd agree that if you're gonna do both the 'good' and 'bad' stuff, it should probably be separate lists. Just so you don't randomly pick something to watch and end up with a turd when you were looking to watch something good tongue

I feel like I should suggest these two films:

"Dreams" by Akira Kurosawa

The title is literally what the movie is. Kurosawa would apparently write down interesting dreams he had, and this film is a collection of several of them in short film form. I've found the first and last to be the most interesting to watch, but there are striking visuals in every sequence.

"Koyaanisqatsi" by Godfrey Reggio

It's an 'art' film / pseudo documentary I guess. Nothing but visuals set to music, but the juxtapositions and pace of the film along with the music is interesting. You kinda have to watch it to get it. The first trailer for GTA 4 was an homage to this movie.


M - Fritz Lang. Movie is AMAZING.


The post I made vis-a-vis anime films probably shouldn't be included on any list of 'best whatever' movies. Mind Game is not a 'great' film, although it's a great example of a movie that is balls-out insane. Tekkonkinkreet, tho... That's a hard call to make... That movie has some really well done character arcs and weaves a nice couple of themes throughout the film's various subplots... It just gets so god damn ANIME at the end, you know? I'd say keep it.

Well they are making at least one new take on the Wizard of Oz. I can't think of any others in production. I'm not against it as a trend. I think westerns are going to be a thing soon with Django and Lone Ranger both set to make lots of money. If you were to start production right now on a gritty western sci-fi/fantasy film, you'd probably make a lot of money OHSHITSOMEONEMAKEDARKTOWERRIGHTNOW!

Just got back from Snow White & The Huntsman. It's not bad. That's about all you can say about it, really. I like how they gave the queen a bit more of a tragic backstory to her. I like how they kept a lot of the weird fairytale aspects without having it interfere with the story too much via deus ex machina. There are a couple bits that kinda come out of nowhere, but they don't feel wrong or out of place...  more they just pop up and you go "oh wait...  yeah...  this is a fairytale...  huh... I kinda forgot for a minute..."

I do, however, dislike Kristen Stewart's portrayal of Snow White, in that she basically does the same thing Pattinson does in Twilight. I wanted to hand her a bottle of ex-lax and a magazine and say "go take care of that problem, then come back and finish shooting the movie". When she's not pulling a pooping face she does OK, but she does that a lot in this movie.

Also wasn't a big fan of some of the camerawork. Getting really sick of close-up jitter-cam action scenes where just keeping your eyes focused on the point of interest is a chore in itself. I don't think many movies are really planning out how the camera is working to tell the story.

I liked the dwarves, tho, and the movie becomes much more watchable after they show up as they provide the few lighthearted moments in the film. Unfortunately they also aren't really characterized all that well, and it leads to a couple hollow, undeserved moments that are supposed to be emotional but aren't.

I also really liked Theron in the movie. It's not a one-note performance (it's two notes... with a third note every once in a while), and she alternates between chewing the scenery and adding a bit of vulnerability to what is normally the definition of a one dimensional character in most other adaptations. I wish she'd had better motivation in this version, though they do try to rationalize what the typical motivations are. Kinda. It's not entirely successful... at all...

Spoony described it as being similar to the sort of fantasy films you'd see in the 80's like Willow and Ladyhawk, and he's right, but in those movies the fantasy stuff was more involved in the story. Here it's more of a background where the story takes place. The queen and her abilities are the only real fantasy aspect of the film that has bearing on the film. You can remove most of the other bits and not really notice.

There's no Medusa you have to kill in a certain way, there's no curse that needs to be lifted, there's no magic sword that must be found, there's no charmed trinket that bequeaths protection or some special ability. The fantasy aspects are more akin to... i dunno...  more like science, really. Biology. There are creatures. There are plants. They behave in ways that aren't typical of our reality, but in the reality of this world they just ARE a certain way. The queen is the only thing that doesn't really fit, but they magic bean her up, so it's OK. Everything else is just the way things are.

But I liked it overall. Definitely a movie worth picking apart for future study. It's an interesting take on the story that adds some pathos to the queen and thus gives it a bit of a tragic feeling. It's worth watching just for that aspect. There's also a blatantly obvious Princess Mononoke reference in the flick, which will always make me like your movie slightly more.

Congrats on your imminent fatherhood.