I like it. It read great in my head, the story and setting were easy to follow and the characters were all working. My only real quibble: it's really unclear to me just how crunched for time they are, they seem to be in a hurry but at the same time feel like they have plenty of time. Also the rate at which Dreadnought is drilling through dense rock with subpar gear seems a little outrageous.

Dang. I really, really like it. Tension seemed right to me (though I know it's a live document and I know it's probably been updated since Shadow read it), as did timing. And I was totally invested, to the point where I started skimming lines looking for brown after the last squealer.

As far as what they're doing and it making sense, it totally works. Ransom money for the Corvus crew, right? (Might be wrong on the ship name.)

Hell yes I want to be a part of this. Argus or Blue, maybe. Blue's nervous chatter and sarcasm are kinda my archetype, so I'd be fine playing that or doing someone else against type. If you want I can read an "audition" page for a few so you can cast me as you see fit.

Last edited by Boter (2016-06-21 15:07:32)

At one point he drills through 20 meters in the time it takes to say 3 words. Unless there's meant to be dead air there, that's hella fast.

It's just, at one point they get called to come back immediately, then they just keep doing what they would have done anyway. In fact, they drill through an extra 200 meters of rock then they intended too. Which they do fast enough that I wonder why they didn't just drill it in the first place. Maybe if they decided to toss aside safety practices and attempt something much faster but really risky after they get the call?

Oh, and here's a punny title suggestion: "This is just a drill"

Last edited by ShadowDuelist (2016-06-22 01:58:51)

Yup. Dead air. I'll have to do a read through to see how much a pause I can get away with considering the tension.

Aha. Yup. You're right. While the time-scale is mentioned to have been shortened (going from 4 hours to less than 1) I totally get why it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
But your suggestion that they specifically toss safety aside is freakin perfect! It will escalate the tension, and give them a likely explanation when things go wrong. Self-blame ensues, Drama! Excitement! Conflict!
Thanks, man!

Loving it so far! Left comments in the first three episodes.

I can;t wait to hear it - or also record if I made the cut

:'( You monster.

I've yet to survive to the end of a series (insofar as voice acting goes, though admittedly my resume isn't extensive). My sister just called me Sean Bean. I might be okay with this.

Anyway, remember how we were talking about recording together if possible because of playing off of each other with conversations? That scene is definitely an exception, though I'd want to be on call with you for direction.

I've been a distracted person, but I'm always down to record some dialogue for a thing.

Oh I hope Teague plays Grimm, that'd be hella fun to play off of

BTW, since I'm not sure if I ever officially did say... I'm down for voices. I've been only half keeping an eye on this, so not sure where you are with casting and shiz, but count me in as etc's if ya need em or a main if you need it.

I'm sure you know where to go to find ample samples of my voice