Topic: The Hyacinth Disaster
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The Hyacinth Disaster (Page 1 of 3)
Friends In Your Head | Forums → Creations → The Hyacinth Disaster
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- Writhyn
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
I think this might help: if you're looking to give just general feedback, here's a few points you can affirm or deny.
1) I tried to make the characters sound and behave different
2) I tried to avoid "as-you-know" dialogue while also giving the audience enough info to figure out what's going on. Characters should talk about things in a way that people might.
3) It should be fairly obvious what emotions are being conveyed by each line, based on context and word choice. Parenthetical "director" stuff should be almost completely unnecessary.
4) The story should make sense. Obviously.
If you don't know what to look for, let me know how these points are met, and I will work on what needs it. Thanks!
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- ShadowDuelist
- Resident Dungeon Master
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
I like it. It read great in my head, the story and setting were easy to follow and the characters were all working. My only real quibble: it's really unclear to me just how crunched for time they are, they seem to be in a hurry but at the same time feel like they have plenty of time. Also the rate at which Dreadnought is drilling through dense rock with subpar gear seems a little outrageous.
+1
- Writhyn
- Furious Roadster
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Two excellent points. I totally agree. I'll probably throw in a line or two about how much faster it'd be going with better equipment. Just to give a proper scale.
Dunno how to fix the time crunch issue yet, although I see what you mean...would you be able to pinpoint something in particular that defused it for you?
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5 2016-06-21 07:06:28 (edited by Boter 2016-06-21 07:07:32)
- Boter
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Dang. I really, really like it. Tension seemed right to me (though I know it's a live document and I know it's probably been updated since Shadow read it), as did timing. And I was totally invested, to the point where I started skimming lines looking for brown after the last squealer.
As far as what they're doing and it making sense, it totally works. Ransom money for the Corvus crew, right? (Might be wrong on the ship name.)
Hell yes I want to be a part of this. Argus or Blue, maybe. Blue's nervous chatter and sarcasm are kinda my archetype, so I'd be fine playing that or doing someone else against type. If you want I can read an "audition" page for a few so you can cast me as you see fit.
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
7 2016-06-21 17:56:19 (edited by ShadowDuelist 2016-06-21 17:58:51)
- ShadowDuelist
- Resident Dungeon Master
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
+1
- Boter
- Administrator
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Episode 2: You Know the Drill.
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
- Boter
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Loving it so far! Left comments in the first three episodes.
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
- Writhyn
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Thanks! I'll probably put out for comments one more time once I edit and tighten as much as I can. But the interim advice is super helpful.
I can't wait to record this!
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- Boter
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
I can;t wait to hear it - or also record if I made the cut 
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
- Boter
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
:'( You monster.
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
- Writhyn
- Furious Roadster
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
If you can pull off that scene, you're hired*
(*metaphorically. I don't have money.)
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- Boter
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
I've yet to survive to the end of a series (insofar as voice acting goes, though admittedly my resume isn't extensive). My sister just called me Sean Bean. I might be okay with this.
Anyway, remember how we were talking about recording together if possible because of playing off of each other with conversations? That scene is definitely an exception, though I'd want to be on call with you for direction.
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
- Writhyn
- Furious Roadster
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Yeah makes sense. We'll figure it out when it comes time to record. I'm shooting for having the script ready by thanksgiving.
And I'll have to figure out how Teague wants to do it (if he's still in).
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- Teague
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
I've been a distracted person, but I'm always down to record some dialogue for a thing.
- Writhyn
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Thanks! I'm still working, so I'll give you plenty of heads-up before the time comes.
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- Boter
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Oh I hope Teague plays Grimm, that'd be hella fun to play off of 
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
- Writhyn
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Lol I'm currently thinking of casting him as Dreadnought
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+1
- BigDamnArtist
- "I'm Canadian, you can trust me on this.
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
BTW, since I'm not sure if I ever officially did say... I'm down for voices. I've been only half keeping an eye on this, so not sure where you are with casting and shiz, but count me in as etc's if ya need em or a main if you need it.
I'm sure you know where to go to find ample samples of my voice
ZangrethorDigital.ca
- Writhyn
- Furious Roadster
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
I'm still not sure who's voicing Eric Temple (the recording from the beginning and a brief speaking part at the end).
my email is writhyn@gmail.com
If you want, get in touch with me and we'll see if that would be a good fit.
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- Boter
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Re: The Hyacinth Disaster
Boter, formerly of TF.N as Boter and DarthArjuna. I like making movies and playing games, in one order or another.
Posts: 1 to 25 of 72
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