Ooh, I like that idea. Also: fun film, Sam Jackson in plaid, and you can also do the "what the heck happened to Renny Harlin?" thing.

Come on.
Not one single goddamn person knew about Disney buying Star Wars, but now suddenly people's "inside sources" are reliable? Don't do that to yourself. Don't give these hit-whoring assholes any more page views. If there's news, we'll know from the right sources when appropriate.

Fantastic Four would be an interesting one, in that regard. After all the years of people shitting on it, I was surprised by how much I didn't hate it. It does some things right (Chiklis and Evans, comedy, and most of the tone) but then it does some things very wrong (Alba, Doom, Welsh dude playing Reed, drama, the rest of the tone).

Sharklumbo
I really needed this laugh today. It's exactly what you think it is.

A 23 year-old Jeff Goldblum and his sideburns appearing uncredited in a '75 episode of Columbo.
Later in the episode, they enter a teleportation device together and become Goldblumbo.

Speaking for the splatter: the other possibility is that for promotional material which is going to be widely accessible, they may have replaced the gorier elements with more PG-13ish effects, while the movie itself will have effects more like the original.

Hi, and welcome! 

I loved this episode. I got a big kick out of your off-topic, free-form blues-jazz (wait, no, jazz-blues) odyssey.

Herc's Understatement Cornerrrrr!

Gosh! What an entertaining and satisfying movie. And oh, how we laughed! I would greatly enjoy watching it again.

Herc's (spoiler-free) Fair-and-Balanced Cornerrrr!

  Show

This did everything it intended to do, it did it well, and it did with charm and good humour, without overstaying its welcome. A thoroughly enjoyable sci-fi romp that so effortlessly buys goodwill that it would be almost churlish to give too much weight to any criticisms. There possibly are criticisms to make, don't get me wrong, but they're hard to spot and easy to dismiss. And the sense of humour delivered just as I'd hoped. From time to time I do leave a cinema pleasantly surprised, but this is the first time in a long time, if ever, that I had high expectations and had them matched. Lovely

Herc's (spoiler-free) Hyperbole Cornerrrrr!

Uh, yes.

Okay, that was the fault of my new personal assistant. They thought it was a refusal of the call, but when they called to confirm, really I just didn't get the call because my PA gave them the wrong area-code, so it was this whole thing where they thought I wasn't on board and I thought they were being weird and pushy. We laughed about it later though.
Anyway, I told the filmmakers to leave that kerfuffle out of the adaptation, or to add a scene showing my refusal of the call, but they said that wouldn't be accurate and they wouldn't want to disrespect my story.

Squiggly, your sufferance was not entirely in vain, as I got a few laughs out of your write-up, cheers.