Open it. Knowing when allows me to get a fix on my life, and actively get around to hitting that bucket list.

You're faced with a paradox. You find yourself in 1989, and the only way of getting back to your time is to tap a very attractive person...of your own gender. (Thank you Dorkman and the Batman Returns commentary)
Do you ..tap it, or do you stay put in 1989, reliving the glory days of the late 80s/all of the 90s, with knowledge of what's to come(alá Back to the Future)?

Isn't there supposed to be a new question in here somewhere?

Well, yeah, I was referring to a sitrep, and since it's pronounced sitrap in Norwegian (SituasjonsRapport), I just went with that.

But yeah, that's one hell of a sitrap.

With that in mind, I'd like to throw in the Star Wars Prequels.

Thor.

*I really can't answer that, dammit*

No. I use Rock Smash to build a tunnel to whatever piece of land is closest. Duh.

You find yourself suddenly in the midst of a vampire night club, with all attendees hungry. How do you pitch yourself non-appealing to get out?

Well, an excuse to head to London for a couple of days isn't bad, but you'll be missing out on some serious nature

There's a ferry going from Newcastle(I believe) to Bergen, Norway. From there, it's only two hours by plane to land 500 meters from my house. Just sayin'.

Make a Marilyn Monroe sex tape.

You're face to face with God. You've one question, and you don't get to ask the meaning of life. What'cha ask?

IIRC, The name Spiff is taken from Calvin & Hobbes.

The video kinda sucks, but... yeah, if you know what an arctic spyder III is, you get the idea.

[video (cant extract ID)]

I've taken a few shots of the night sky and the moon, but I can't even begin to compete with telescopes.