A) What the fuck is the Great Movie Ride Montage?
B) Where do I find it so I know what the test is asking?
C) I have to fucking type the exact title of dozens of movies?
D) Are the star and year supposed to be hints? Because I think I can get about 12 of them just from that.

Great fun on Slither and The Shining! Thanks!

It's the feel-good stoner comedy of the decade! It's Dudes and Platitudes!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page are Grant Heckleman and Hattie Plankmeme, two graduate students who get paired up to write a paper on the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus. Thinking his cryptic proverbs must have been made while stoned, they venture out with Grant's burn-out roommate Hilgy (Jonah Hill) and into the stoner night life around campus, where they meet two English brothers/drunks (Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe), a dwarf drug connection with OCD (Peter Dinklage), a pair of slutty sisters (Hayden Panettiere and Michelle Williams) who go around in a pantomime horse costume, a foul-mouthed cougar professor (Emma Thompson) with two undergrads, and handlebar-mustachioed "doctor feel-good" Rex McPkAnk (John Hurt).

They spend the night in drug, sex, and philosophical debauchery, and Grant and Hattie wake up naked together only to discover Dr. McPkAnk's dead body in Grant's living room. Hung over, they watch a video Dr. McPkAnk made philosophizing about his imminent death from liver cancer, then stuff the overdose victim in Hattie's SUV and—after a wild chase thru town to evade the cops—dump him in front of the public library before bailing Hilgy out of jail for public intoxication and fighting with the dwarf.

Coming soon: The Sandals of Empire

Every robot story is either Pinocchio or RUR.

EDIT: Here are a few Pinocchios...

• Data from ST:TNG

• Bicentennial Man

• Johnny 5 from Short Circuit

• Edward Scissorhands

• Surrogates (of course)

You've waited all summer! Now it's here! The Boy in the Big Bee Fields

Nathan Smelts (Haley Joel Osment) is a young Missouri man who dreams of bringing back the bees, whose colonies have collapsed. From an American Indian friend named Calma (Gabby Sidibe), Nathan learns the secret of "bee calling" and conducts nightly rituals that require dancing in a loin cloth and body paint under a waxing moon in the open fields. Local townsfolk begin complaining, and Nathan clashes with his father (William Hurt) a no-nonsense ironwork artist who goes by the professional name "Dr. McPkAnk".

Things come to a head when Nathan, with Calma's encouragement, robs a liquor store with his father's tools and uses gallons of corn whiskey to fill a wading pool to attract bees. Drunk and pursued by townsfolk on his electric scooter accompanied by banjo music, Nathan spies Calma dancing in a field and goes to her. As the townsfolk close in, bees begin to arrive, and Calma reveals herself to a be a great Indian queen bee spirit who needed the townsfolk to be distracted until she could call the bees back. Great swarms of bees cover everything, and all the townsfolk are badly stung and run away as Calma floats into the night sky.

Nathan is reunited with his father in a touching tandem electric scooter ride.

Coming soon: Hang the Red Clown

I thought this was going to be lame, like a little girl in a wheelchair. But it was awesome, like an astronaut riding a shark.

Needs more compression, tho.

How are these for bad ideas?

• A serial rapist wins the lottery and uses his fortune to hilariously taunt his victims.

• Old women are recruited by an international conspiracy of embroiderers to create the perfect embroidery pattern.

• A young boy becomes fascinated by the motion in a mud puddle.

• A teenage girl, yearning to escape from her very strict parents, learns that everything she really needs is right at home.

Here's the practical problem, tho: audiences aren't interested in seeing the towering masterpiece you created using the building blocks of Biodome because Biodome sucked. But they are interested in seeing the steaming pile of dung that you created out of the building blocks of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was great but just had a few little problems. So the money in remakes is remaking good movies that aren't awesome movies.

Also, I think AI was a terrible idea for a movie, and The Island wasn't much better.

Most people seem to agree that there's just not much point in remaking a story that has been told in a definitive version (which I think is what Maul is perhaps overemphasizing), because you're either going to end up aping Curtiz's Casablanca (for example) or self-consciously re-imagining it. But there are TONS of stories out that that have been done well but could be done better or even just done well again.

I, of course, would start with Bugsy Malone. The kids should do the singing.

Boba and the Fetts. And we'd always open and close with "Benny and the Jets" with the lyrics changed.

Chewie and Han, have you seen them yet?
Ooh! But they're so spaced out.
B-b-b-boba and the Fetts
Ooh, they're all clones but they're wonderful
Oh, Boba, he's a-really keen
He's got magnetic boots, a jet-pack suit
I heard it from Emperor Palpatine! Oh-ho!
B-b-b-boba and the Fetts

For the record, I think that "on topic" includes (highest to lowest relevancy):

• This scene

• This movie (and the techniques used to make it)

• These actors (and their other movies)

• This director (and his or her other movies)

• Other movies otherwise related

• Explaining the plot to Teague

• Whatever movie story occurs to Trey

• Brian's definition of "acting"

• Star Wars and Star Trek

• Jeff Goldblum

GREAT SCOT! I've just thought of a DIF bingo game!