1,776

(36 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I've already done this homework for 75 movies, so I'm not taking a block. Here are my top picks.

Terminator Salvation
@0:15:26
"[McG] thinks that people don’t like the movie because his name is pretentious. … Your name could be Hitler McSodomy, for all that matters. [laughter] If you make a good f***in’ Terminator movie, people … wouldn’t dis the movie."

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
@1:51:45
"That dragon actually looks pretty decent. … It’s still right before they had the sub-surface scattering going on. … And you can see the wings feel kind of plasticky. Hey, your wings feel plasticky. Your mom’s wings are plasticky."

Legion
@0:02:16
"It’s really spectacular how you can pull this survival/zombie movie … with angels and God … and not even accidentally— [laughter] —hit some kind of point."

Alien 3
@0:06:00
"You like it? … I have a special place in my heart for it— [laughter] We should get you X-rayed right away."

Raiders of the Lost Ark
@1:21:10
"When he goes under the truck, that’s the clearest Yakima Canutt [homage]. … Trey represents the knowledge of this podcast. Well, just the old and cranky knowledge. [laughter] But isn’t that the best kind of knowledge?"

@0:55:00
"[re: Indy's later war service] Why didn’t Indiana Jones [say], ‘Okay, long story short: I know you guys have a box that melts Nazis. [Laughter] Just get that out of storage. We’ll end this real fast.’"

@0:04:40
"Once the Nazis get the Ark, if Indy went home, it would turn out the same way. … Now, if this was a Vin Diesel movie, he would kill all the Nazis and then he would punch God back into the box."

Hook
@1:31:15
"[as Hook] ‘When the time comes, do you want to be saved?’ Like, oh— This is actually really well done. … Are you admiring his brain-washing? Huh? Yes! [laughter] I have to say, it is impressive brain-washing."

The Truman Show
@1:12:33
"If there’s text, the audience will read it, and they use the sh*t out of that in this movie, geniusly. Already, in her room: ‘Free Truman’ rallies. … In the hands of maybe a less skilled film maker, they’d actually have to show the rallies."

@1:22:26
"Why cut transmission? … That’s captivating. People who hate the show would start watching it. Yeah. Like, if the Big Brother house caught fire, [laughter] I would run to the computer, and be like, ‘What?!’"

The Blob (1988)
@0:59:04
"[That's a] hand puppet trick. … No rigs, no nothing, just me and my hands. Okay, tell the truth, when you’re doing that, and you’re alone on set, are you going, “Yaahr!’ [laughter] Yep. Pretty much. ‘Uurr… I am the Blob!’" — Down in Front,

@1:01:30
"Boy, Kevin’s just smokin’ the hell out of that cigarette. … That cigarette knows it’s been smoked, man. … You know, this is, like, take 20, and they didn’t bring smoke machines into this forest. [laughter] It’s all Kevin."

The Matrix Reloaded
@1:11:51
"So here we have the orgasm cake. … If I went to a place that gave me an orgasm every time I took a bite of their cheesecake, I’d go back. I’d go back there a lot. Yeah, but nobody would take you."

@0:17:27
"Every time [Neo] walks into a room, you can say to yourself, in his voice, ‘I’m confused.‘ [laughter] And it’ll work every time, I guarantee you."

@0:10:38
"I really have a problem with Morpheus’ attitude. … ‘Don’t ask me for reasons, because you’ll find out I have none.’ … Morpheus is basically an analog for the Wachowskis. [long pause] Wow. Whoa."

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
@1:14:02
"I would love a bathtub that was shaped like a giant sink. Yeah. I would seriously love that. I would get drunk and panic."

The Fifth Element
@0:00:04
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Down in Front! Our movie this week is the gay, French Blade Runner. [laughter] It is! … You’ve crystallized The Fifth Element. It’s Blade Runner as done by Cirque du Soleil."

Star Wars 5: Empire Strikes Back
@1:02:23
"This became canon, the age thing, whereas he’s just pulling it out of his ass. [as Yoda] ‘No, he’s too old! No, I don’t like his face! Fine. I’ll do it.’ ‘He’s a size 11!’ ‘I got things on Saturday! I can’t do it!’"

Star Wars 4: A New Hope
@0:47:30
"We’ve got a more recent visual effects blockbuster with a tried-and-true story that is not really hailed for its story-telling abilities. So why is Star Wars better than Avatar? Well, there’s a difference between a form and a formula."

Independence Day
@0:16:17
"Does Jeff Goldblum always play a rock star scientist?! Is that what he does? Yes. Yes, he does. … [as Goldblum] Uh, chaotician. Chaotician."

The Fly
@0:26:46
"We had video taps even in ’85. You could have shot directly out of the movie camera. … But how did you make movies without electricity? Well, we just rubbed two sticks together until Jeff Goldblum caught fire."

Watchmen
@0:56:46
"It is kind of this absurdist take on it. … Life is chaos. It’s random. It’s absolutely absurd the things that go on, but … underneath that absurdity, you can find beauty. And I think this is absurdism without the beauty."
Avatar

Avatar
@1:55:12
"We don’t get exposition in the world. … ‘Here’s an animal. And here’s another animal. And these animals glow. And this tree is big.’ And that’s the exposition that we get."

Star Trek
@0:02:52
This movie exists in a quantum state. [laughter] … As long as you don’t look at it directly, it seems to be working fine. But … once you actually start observing it directly, it starts doing all of these erratic things."

Transformers
@0:15:56
"There’s a comparison to be drawn between Michael Bay and Stanley Kubrick. I think they’re both about conveying an experience and not about telling a story."

Men in Black
@1:32:30
"He swallowed Tommy Lee Jones whole. … Don’t you want to savor the taste of a Tommy Lee Jones?"

Ghostbusters 2
@0:06:44
"It’s gonna be like domestic abuse. I’m gonna be slapping this movie around, telling it I love it, but it kind of deserves it. … ‘Why do you make me do this to you?!’ ‘You think I like hurting you like this, Ghostbusters 2?!’"

Gremlins
@1:05:50
"I think it’s completely irresponsible for a store to sell gremlins in the first place. … We were trying open negotiations with China, so we had lax import restrictions on gremlins at the time."

Monsters, Inc.
@0:40:28
"I wonder how genetics and procreation works in this universe. … Each time you get in a new relationship, it’s like, ‘I don’t know what to put in where! We’re gonna discover this together. It’s an adventure!’"

Jurassic Park
@0:54:58
"This thing doesn’t have to do much. … But this is … a damn good puppet. It’s not a puppet, Trey. It’s a triceratops. Yeah. Shut-up your mouth." — Down in Front,

@0:49:43
"Theme park design is like slaughterhouse design. Don’t give the cows any room to do anything wrong, because they will. … What do you need the steering wheel for if [the vehicle is] on a track?"

The Mist
@0:42:08
"Not to get all high-brow here, but the villain is really human nature. [grumbling] You mean this movie is about ideas? … Why can’t it be like a Michael Bay film?"

Spider-Man
@0:19:32
"The thing about casting Willem Dafoe— … He doesn’t have to be scary to be scary. Right. … The part about it that I don’t buy? I don’t buy that this character was ever not insane."

The Abyss
@2:42:34
"[This is] the kind of heavy-handed scene where he’s like, ‘They were going to destroy us because we’re mean. But … we’ve got a second chance.’ … Well, thank you, 1980s, for giving us that moment and Superman 4."

Jaws
@2:11:44
"If we wanted to wave our special edition magic wands—if we fixed about five shark shots, I think we’d be done. … Just cleaned up a couple seams, or whatever. … And maybe do something with Murray Hamilton’s jacket."

--------------

There's also some really good stuff in the first anniversary show and Ryan's mashup, (maybe while the DIF logo, recording room, or end credits are showing).

@0:11:24
"One of your talents, I've noticed over this last year, is that you can articulate failure in a beautiful way...."

@0:25:43
Discussion of humility and how the forum helps and Trey learning that if he says something authority, the rest of the panel buys it.

@0:29:50
Michael talks about Adam Bertocci's observation about Ghostbusters 2, which he wishes he'd come up with.

@0:52:30
Eddie explains that we're lucky to have The Prestige with its flaws (and Brian observes, "'Cause you could've gotten Transformers 2, people.") Then Eddie encapsulates The Prestige and its problems really nicely.

@1:02:45
Trey talks about how Dennis Muren only comes out of hiding for the Oscars, and you get 6 more weeks of Transformers if he sees his shadow. And then he complains hilariously about how all visual effects are done with computers.

1,777

(1,649 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Whoa. Who is this Dan Trachtenberg guy? Does he have a movie commentary podcast and a cool forum?

/fickle

1,778

(142 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I would suggest trying to keep to comments that go well with the scene happening at that moment.

1,779

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

Have you been half asleep
and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.

1,780

(142 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Well, there's my six pages of suggestions.... with time codes.....

At the moment, "Hitler McSodomy" is my go-to chuckle... Also "you MOM's wings are plasticky" And a lot of the stuff from Truman was nicely insightful.

The one about Kevin Dillon smoking the hell out of a cigarette in The Blob would be good with the visual of him.

1,781

(27 replies, posted in Episodes)

I still so want to hate Demi Moore.

And I still sooo want her.

1,782

(2,061 replies, posted in Episodes)

And we women disguised as religious scholars feel the same way about Yentl.

/shhh
//squashes boobs down a bit more

1,783

(1,019 replies, posted in Episodes)

Pfft on your public health care system. I still pine for the days of private fire insurance. If you didn't have insurance, the fire brigade would come, but they wouldn't put out the fire. Survival of the fittest was the rule of the land!

Oh, the fun we had, rolling hoops with sticks past the poor children just getting off work at the textile mill.....

1,784

(11 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I've said it before, so this may sound like a broken record*.... The site needs a central catalog that is easily browsed, with nice, big pictures and a log line for each.

As for the front page, I don't think anyone has it really figured out yet—not other commentary sites, not Rifftrax, not Hulu, not YouTube.... Ideally, I think listeners would best be served by a Recent Releases section of images (posters or frames from the movies) with the movie title and a snarky log line. Then a Fan Favorites section below that would have the most popular entries, like the Star Wars stuff.

Then maybe the whole other half of the front page should have an embedded video with short clips from various movies (fair use for parody) with your audio quotes over the top, mocking or explaining. That would give new visitors a really good idea of what to expect and would only need to be updated every month or so with a fresh clip stuck at the beginning.



* There used to be these things called "records", which were analog audio disks. When they got badly scratched, the playback device would hop when it hit the scratch, often causing the same few seconds to play over and over again.

1,785

(2,068 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Faldor wrote:

We just watched Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Ware Rabbit.  big_smile

I watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit and A Series of Unfortunate Events back to back with my niece (8) and nephew (8), and they loved them as much as I do. I've got all the W&G stuff; I'll have to check if they've seen them.

Next on the docket: Ghostbusters and Beetlejuice.

EDIT: Among other things, I've also watched Revenge of Frankenstein and Frankenstein Created Woman. The latter is quite well respected, but it really didn't do much for me. And these are pre-booby Hammer anyway.

1,786

(27 replies, posted in Off Topic)

This shit again? For an old-timey, anti-labor, rabid anti-communist, Walt Disney was a pretty good guy.

1,787

(27 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Awesome. Someone actually saying, "You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, and that's good enough for us."

He's actually willing to throw away Disney's long-term reputation as a reliable storytelling institution for short-term profits. Pixar is going to sell its movies for a HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS, whereas NO ONE is going to be interested in Tim Burton's Wonderbortion next year.

EDIT
Wait, wait. You know what's even more hilarious about this? He thinks he can emulate the top 12 highest grossing movies of all time by emulating Alice in Wonderland, like that's some kind of a strategy.

Let's look at that top 12 list he's showing off as a guide to Disney's future....

You've got Avatar and Titanic.... No problem. Just hire a renowned auteur director with a reputation for smart, big-budget action movies and a vision for reinventing cinema. How hard can that be?

There's a couple of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter movies there (and several more just below the #12 spot). That's a snap. Just adapt an epic series of novels beloved by hundreds of millions of children and adults worldwide, and don't fuck them up too badly. There's got to be plenty of those lying around.

There's a couple of Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I guess the lesson there is to make a huge, smart, fun, scary family movie with a little nostalgic factor in a neglected sub-genre, and then sit back and watch the Brinks trucks roll in when you pump out sloppy messes for sequels. That's not hard.

Toy Story 3 is there. Hell, that's animated—Disney's bread-and-butter! Just make two fantastically awesome family films with endless replay value and then pump out a touchingly nostalgic and still pretty awesome third one.

Then you've got Alice in Wonderland. For that, just hire a quirky and beloved, if slightly uneven, director and his favorite leading man who happens to be hugely talented and likeable and put them together with a beloved source material. Easy!

Then there's Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Fuck yeah! Now there's something to shoot for!

1,788

(7 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Other than the fact that I have no idea what the hell this is about, I think it's great.

However, I second Teague's skepticism of Zack's acting. And Scarlett doesn't look like she's been wandering the desert for more than about seven minutes.

The merchant guy tho, he can act.

1,789

(47 replies, posted in Episodes)

"Mal" as a woman's name is usually short for "Malory" or "Malinda". I couldn't figure out why Leo wasn't Anglicizing the pronunciation to rhyme with "pal" and "shall" in his American twang. He certainly wouldn't have corrected her if she had pronounced his name—Dom—as "dome" rather than "dahm". That's what accents are: the way you pronounce stuff.

Dumb name. But Teague is right.

1,790

(11 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I liked BR when I first saw it, but I thought of it as a pretty standard noir picture set in a futuristic world. I can understand why some set designers and artists went ga-ga, but the fact that it looks like sci-fi is SUPPOSED to look like doesn't impress me. The fact that it and Alien were the FIRST to do that is historically interesting, but doesn't change my impression of the story.

Recently, I've come to more or less love it, except for the unicorn BS. I wish film makers would stop making Philip K Dick stories into movies without ditching his dumb maybe-it's-a-dream twists. They're in every fucking PKD story.

Hey, director— You're telling a lie in the first place. Why would I give a shit whether or not a guy who never existed is experiencing a "true" lie or a "fake" lie?

1,791

(47 replies, posted in Episodes)

Well, Blade Runner comes to mind.....  big_smile

/thread ninja!

1,792

(1 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I watched Splice this evening because I'd heard it got pretty good reviews and was cool and weird. And it was cool and weird, but mostly kind of meh.

I think it has a great premise but ends up being what I call "writerly". Characters do things because they do them. Things happen because they do. It's not "contrived" exactly because those things aren't implausible dramatic coincidences. They're just... unmotivated. The characters constantly react instead of acting, and there's little build from sequence to sequence, just a barely related string of events. The twist wasn't even a twist.

SPOILERS BELOW
There didn't seem to be a point to the main characters' choice of raising Dren. They didn't really even express any scientific curiosity about her. And there was certainly no sense to be made about Dren's biology. It seemed to be some kind of rabbit-bat-human-scorpion-Zoidberg hybrid.

Also, a pharmaceutical company is in desperate need of money? Tell me another one.

1,793

(1,019 replies, posted in Episodes)

Mine from last year.
http://www.zarban.com/kidney-stone.jpg

1,794

(1,019 replies, posted in Episodes)

Dorkman wrote:

Goddammit. I miss all the exciting episodes.

Once again, Michael misses the drama. Are you sure you're gay?

1,795

(1,019 replies, posted in Episodes)

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Tegway.

/been there, done that

I don't know shit about VFX, but storytelling-wise, we're very close on the hatch during landing but then tilt down from it before it opens to reveal anything. And we're too close to see the landing gear touchdown, so that shot doesn't make sense to me.

Overall, this has a great Sergio Leone feel. And Ron Selmour is amazing. Good get.

1,797

(50 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Oh, also, I want to point something out....

http://www.zarban.com/teague-start.jpg

1,798

(50 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Trey wrote:

Or better yet, imagine a world where Firefly was on HBO.   Holy god.

/for one thing, we would have seen Inara's breasts
/a lot

You magnificent bastard. Now I have THAT to think about for a while.  roll

1,799

(50 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Yeah, if a movie sucks, then oh well, no franchise. TV shows automatically get a couple of more shots. This has especially been true since Star Trek—after taking off in syndication, the network ended up kicking itself for not giving it more of a chance in the first place... and you can never go back.

So, keep in mind, Teague, that you're on the same side as Fox. They canceled Firefly, Futurama, Family Guy, and whatever else because they didn't seem to be getting traction. Then, whoops, a lot of people liked 'em. They were SO popular, that they actually got second chances, but it's not the same. (Well, Family Guy is the same, for whatever that's worth....)

Even so, after Twin Peaks, I've long had a policy of waiting out TV shows—especially since I got a DVR—until I was satisfied that they weren't going to suck or wander off into crazyland. (I'm lookin' at you, Lost.)

I guess what I'm saying is: William Shatner is the greatest man alive.

/stuck in Charlotte airport in a frickin' white squall

1,800

(50 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I'm kind of on the fence. I've had the same feeling as Teague—especially with 24 and Lost. But I gave in on Fringe and recently just finished the first season—15 hours later it's getting good.

But I also think that movies are often hampered by the fact that they're trying to cover an awful lot of ground in two hours—making you understand and like all the characters, follow the action, and so on. It's not at all easy. With TV shows, I think we should all WANT them to take their time revealing the characters and unraveling the mysteries. It keeps the shows from being Gilligan's Island: here are seven people from all social strata stranded on an island; enjoy a hundred identical episodes.

Still a TV show needs to really PULL you in with the first two or three episodes. That's its JOB. Set up the characters—leave some mysterious for now, but intriguing. Set up some conflict that isn't going to get resolved immediately.