176

(35 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I don't understand why people need the movie to be so real.

That scene where Kirk is promoted makes 100% absolute perfect movie sense to me.  Pike always knew Kirk had potential as a leader and as a badass, he'd just saved the lives of EVERYONE on board the ship- and here's the important bit.  He didn't make him Captain.  He made SPOCK Captain.  He put the most logical, calm, rational thinking man on board in charge- and if logic, calm, and reason fails you, then Kirk's brand of fearless badassery is probably your last recourse.

Does that kind of shit happen every day in the modern military?  No.  Is that 100% sound logic in the real world? No.  You know what else we don't see every day, and doesn't make much sense if you think about it too hard?  Transporters, matter replicators, and most other things in Star Trek.  I don't understand why everything has to make real world sense and be real world practical... in a sci fi action movie.

Here's what it comes down to- Star Trek was a dying, terribly uncool franchise, and then we got a fucking BADASS movie that kept my nipples hard throughout as a lifelong casual fan of the original series and TNG.  And now Star Trek is cool again.  If you want the hardest of hard sci fi, that's out there but I wouldn't ever consider Star Trek that.  Or if you want a Star Trek story that makes perfect sense 100% of the way through, that may exist but I haven't seen it yet.

How anyone who loves the franchise could possibly not love this movie is a mystery to me.  I guess that's why there's different horses for different courses.

177

(13 replies, posted in Off Topic)

BrianFinifter wrote:

Kickpunching.

What the hell is kickpunching?

No, don't tell me.


Screw you, Brian, I'm GOING to tell you!

It's when you kick and punch.

178

(3 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I don't like it as much as you do, Teague (maybe because I didn't see it until years after it came out), but what I personally enjoyed about it is that it's a cast of VERY charismatic actors capable of doing very honest feeling performances.  The story is over the top and has holes in it, but as DIF has determined before, you can do over the top as long as everyone plays it straight and doesn't overdo it in their performance.

179

(13 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Ahh!  I've actually been secretly mortified for a bit that someone might take that in the latter sense.  I in NO WAY think I'm a badass or a tough guy at all- and I'm not saying that because real badasses and touch guys say that a lot.  What I do is intrensically a wild combination of ridiculous, illogical, and exceptionally gay.  I've no delusions that doing it makes me any kind of shoot fighter or anything- in fact, my brain is wired to throw punches that you feel and look mean but don't hurt you, and on the ground I know how to grab a lot of holds (with a willing "opponent") that I either don't know how to apply correctly to tap someone out or if I did, wouldn't because they're a bunch of bullshit anyway.

So what the sig is saying is that getting upset because I of all people said something dumb is like getting upset that someone said something less than logical in a youtube comment box.  It's gonna happen, bear with me.  tongue

As for Eddie, you make this shit sound fascinating.  Mind if I shoot you an IM sometime and we talk about kickpunching?

180

(13 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I just want to bump this to ask Eddie: after what we just saw against Carwin, and taking into consideration what just happened to Fedor... how do you see a Brock/Fedor fight going?  I admit, I don't have nearly the MMA expertise as many who disagree with me, but from what I've seen I really think Lesnar might have the tools to beat him.

Maybe it's just me, but how Toy Story isn't in the top three of all these lists is astounding to me.  That movie is nonstop incredible, and easily the funniest other than maybe Incredibles.

182

(10 replies, posted in Off Topic)

As a wrestler, I use the words brother, gimmick, heel, baby, kayfabe, sell, work, and mark in many conversations that have nothing to do with wrestling.  And some of those terms are 200 year old carny talk.

Haven't seen TS3 yet either, but

1. Toy Story
2. Wall-E
3. Bug's Life
4. Incredibles
5. Cars
6. Finding Nemo


Those are all the ones I've seen and really enjoyed.  I haven't seen Up or Ratatouille, and the others just kinda fell flat for me.

184

(13 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I flirted with the idea of making a "Kyle's Tribute To Fake Asskickery" thread, but instead I'll merely say that if this thread doesn't see Dan Severn, Volk Han, Brock Lesnar, and Bas Rutten (not a wrestler but should have been), I will be in my corner, rioting.

And yes.  I don't follow MMA, but there may never have been a man as dangerous without a weapon in his hand as Fedor.

185

(31 replies, posted in Episodes)

I could go on for a good hour about the age of sail, the war of 1812, and the ancient history of the british isles (all three are subjects I grew up fanatical about, and as such I didn't get laid until college).  Instead I will merely say that I remember distinctly the story Teague is talking about.  It's about a family adrift on a raft or a zodiac of some kind, but he's wrong about the turtle.  They catch a sea turtle and are so thirsty they slit its throat and drink its blood, which is surprisingly not salty.  It goes into detail about the blood getting thick and clotty in the father's beard, IIRC.  Fucked up shit.  Can't remember the name of it though.

186

(7 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Pixels at dawn is actually clever as shit, if you came up with that.

187

(313 replies, posted in Off Topic)

TrowaGP02a wrote:

If there is a zompocalypse please remind me NOT to follow you tongue

I'll be at a Home Depot.

Not a lot of food at Home Depot, and once a building is secure, survival means more than just weapons.

I want to do this story thing, but the post would be a mile long to do those stories justice.

But if one can, in fact, sprint from one spot of the internet to another, that's what I just did from Youtube to here, because god dammit you guys deserve this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcsemGUl0xM

189

(43 replies, posted in Episodes)

TrowaGP02a wrote:

Damn that would be awesome. I'll start out, pick up AdamBertocci in Manhatten, and head west. Where am I stopping?

I should warn you, I smoke, smoke, drink, and have sex while driving.

Indianapolis, for one.  And I'm dead serious, I'd be down as fuck for a road trip to California.  I'll pay you in weed and anecdotes.

190

(43 replies, posted in Episodes)

downinfront wrote:

By the way, are any of you in LA? (That aren't already DIF guest types.)

I'd seriously come out but plane tickets are expensive.  No other commitments that day, though, so I'll definitely be listening in (and it's gonna be at 2 here, and a 2 is a backwards 5, so I'll be drinking beers).

191

(16 replies, posted in Off Topic)

BrianFinifter wrote:

What? No they're not. The last ones I read were the Civil War storyline, and that everyone's old favorites of Luke, Han, Leia, and Wedge still kicking around. It's like 30 or 35 years post-Yavin IIRC.

Yeah, but how's Chewie doing?

192

(21 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I'm subscribed on itunes just to give 'em the number boost, but I've never listened to a DIF episode in any manner other than streaming from the site.  Of the hundreds of times I've DIF'd, I believe I've DIF'd with a movie less than five times.

193

(6 replies, posted in Off Topic)

But I can make you smile when the blood it hits the floor... tell me friend, can you ask for anything more?

194

(6 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy!

195

(8 replies, posted in Off Topic)

It takes a long time for a lightsaber to feel heavy in your hand.  So long that you cannot even be sure if you have been training nonstop for a matter of hours or a matter of weeks.  Either could have been the case for our young Padawan, under the tutelage of a master the likes of Treystokes Pupettis.

The small boy listened closely.  He knew that to do otherwise was to invite misery, and that path was simply not an option.

"You have been told too many times that your saber is an extension of yourself.  Bullshit.  It's just a sword.  You are the weapon.  Remember that.  Now try to kill me this time."

It sounded like Sith rhetoric, but his master was no Sith.  The padawan knew that the man before him had fought hundreds of Sith and walked away without so much as a mechanical pinky finger to show for it.  No, Treystokes' wisdom was merely correct.  Morality had nothing to do with it.

The diminutive figure struck out, allowing the Force to guide his attack.  It was a good attack- a feint to the knees, a guided toss of the saber into his off hand spun into a backhanded slice to his master's belly.  Pupettis watched it come, taking a perfectly timed, perfectly timed breath to pull his entrails out from the way of the burning green blade, then swung his own saber down to knock his student's weapon more forcefully along its followthrough.  The padawan stumbled off his low center of gravity.

"You're holding your saber too tightly.  Don't do that.  That's your first lesson."

The Padawan immediately adjusted his grip, used his momentum to roll past the taller man's legs, and swung viciously at the tendons behind his ankle.  He wasn't quick enough.  Next thing he knew, his saber was skidding across the floor.

"Don't hold it like a fairy either."

"No, Master.  I'll remem-"

He could not finish.  Treystokes was launching an attack, his blade flashing out like a many-tentacled creature as his small student did his best to avoid certain death.

"You are the weapon!  Defend yourself.  You don't need a lightsaber in your hand to be murdered!  You don't need one to end a fight, either!  Lesson three!"

The small Padawan was barely in control of himself.  He put his faith in the Force, and flew, flipped, rolled, and spun until he was nearly a blur, knowing that a moment's hesitation could cost him more than a flesh wound.  Through pained lungs he managed to speak while maintaining his defenses.

"I am not afraid."

Barely considering his movements as he attacked, a small smile crossed the wise master's face.  "You should be.  You cannot dodge me forever.  Find a way."

Spying his saber, the Padawan mustered all he had and yanked it across the room towards himself.  Futility!  It was shorn in half before it was ever in arms reach.  Desperation took hold.  He could not keep flying much longer.  But he was the weapon.  He knew that the end to the fight lay dormant inside of him.

And then it came.

Treystokes eyes burned under the pressure.  The Padawan was using the Force to squeeze them from the inside!  Anguish rang through every moment of his shout of pain.  The smaller one summoned his will and in his moment's advantage, pulled the very blade from his master's palm, immediately swinging it to bear on his throat.

Pupettis froze, his eyes leaking tears but still locked on his student.

"Well done.  You used the second and third lessons to your advantage."

"Thank you, master.  Am I ready?"

"Not quite.  There is one more thing to know."

With that, Treystokes' fist flew out and struck his student a mighty blow betwixt the eyes, flinging him across the room.  He caught his saber as it fell, and strode over to stand over his charge.

"The bad guys know those lessons too."

The padawan looked up at the towering figure.  Everything was fuzzy.  "Your advice, forever remember it I shall."

As the young, green skinned student entered his ship to go maintain order in the galaxy on his own, Trey watched, muttering under his breath.

"I think I knocked that little fucker retarded..."

196

(21 replies, posted in Off Topic)

I don't think I've listened to any DIF episodes less than 3 times.  Maybe 4.

You are excellent background noise and going to sleep noise.  And I can't pick a favorite.  Maybe the Abyss.

197

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Hmm.

Well, the thing I keep hearing is that the fact that all the UFC guys are training in Muay Thai and BJJ above all is no coincidence.  That when they threw the sumo guy, the savate guy, the karate guy, the BJJ guy, and the Muay Thai guy in the cage, the BJJ and MT guys were the ones consistently coming out on top.

So, does that mean that we've definitively found the two martial arts on top, then?  I know that's a gross oversimplification, but it seems like from what you're saying and what the UFC has shown that if you're looking to fight seriously, those two styles plus boxing and amateur wrestling are all you can bother with.

I dunno, it just seems a bit boring, is all.  Most of my martial arts knowledge is based on Fight Quest and Human Weapon, wherein the young white MMA guys are consistently getting their asses beat by the wing chun or hapkido guys.  How does that factor in?

Sorry, it's a broad question.  I've no objection to Muay Thai, it's hard hitting and brutal and well adapted for throwing some pads on and sparring full out, but I haven't seen a place locally that seems to focus on that as opposed to how many inches they can take off of your bikini size.  Which, while grand for me, isn't the only reason I want to get involved in kick punching.

198

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Thanks for that, Eddie.  Great stuff.

I've done some googling, and the only martial arts schools around here that don't seem to be thinly veiled health clubs are a BJJ place and a Seven Star Praying Mantis place.  BJJ is something I definitely want to give a shot, but the lure of real actual kung fu is pretty strong.  If you're going to have to fight someone, it might as well look awesome...

199

(3 replies, posted in Off Topic)

These are awesome when they're on Mars. 

They will not be awesome when they have a minigun and they're coming after you.

200

(38 replies, posted in Off Topic)

Girls do that all the time these days.  Talk to me when you vote or become a doctor.