Topic: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Huh? This is joke; it has to be. Or some guys did it on a dare. Or this is exactly the kind of movie we expect Hollywood to spit out in January. As silly as this looks, the 13 year old me that lives in a back corner of my brain is going, "This will be awesome!" I don't know, maybe even 13 year old me would see through the bullshit of this one. I would gues this still won't be as bad as the Robocop remake.

"Back to the Future is great, and if you disagree then you're Hitler." -Dorkman
"You sucking is canon!" -Brian

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

The only way to enjoy this is to have your mind erased of the last 40 years of movies. Then it'll appear fresh and original and awesome. Rather than just checking off the clichés.
Maybe one day there'll be a drug that knocks out your hippocampus, so every movie will be like Star Wars / LOTR for the first time.

Last edited by avatar (2014-01-25 18:27:20)

not long to go now...

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Poor Miranda Otto deserves better than this.

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Darth Praxus wrote:

Poor Miranda Otto deserves better than this.

So do we.

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

I'm pretty sure this will turn out to be another one of Kimmel's.

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

I don't know. This is exactly in keeping with everything Hollywood has done lately. Recycle an old property, take it in a different direction, Americanize it with guns and California accents, tart it up with effects.... Is this any different from Hansel & Gretel?

Warning: I'm probably rewriting this post as you read it.

Zarban's House of Commentaries

Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

I think if only the film had been about Frankenstein's monster, rather than its creator Dr Frankenstein, it would have been a lot cooler.

For the next hour, everything in this post is strictly based on the available facts.

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

sellew wrote:

I think if only the film had been about Frankenstein's monster, rather than its creator Dr Frankenstein, it would have been a lot cooler.

"Frankenstein's monster, named Adam and having taken the surname of his creator, becomes involved in a war between two immortal clans in an ancient city."

Also we shouldn't forget, this is based on the graphic novel, hence some of the more comic book elements.

Honestly I'm excited to see what it's actually like, watching the trailer it feels like one of those things that they just didn't know how to make a trailer for and just tried to cram it into the usual sci-fi action mold. Could be wrong, but there's nothing that screams it'll be downright atrocious to me (using the modern scale of hollywood action movies).

ZangrethorDigital.ca

Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

BigDamnArtist wrote:

"Frankenstein's monster, named Adam and having taken the surname of his creator, becomes involved in a war between two immortal clans in an ancient city."

Ah, fair enough then.  Yeah, I mean it seems like it could be fun in a mindless sort of way (and I don't mean that as a criticism), but it probably will fall into that paradox for me of "not fun enough to watch at home (where the lack of super loud explosions and vision-filling screen will draw attention to the plot, writing, etc.), but not fun enough to spend ungodly amounts of money to see at the theater". 

I've just realized this:  you know what this country (the UK) needs?  More dollar theaters.  Maybe those fancy folks down south in London Town with their fine hats and streets paved with gold have 'em, but there certainly aren't any 'round my way.

For the next hour, everything in this post is strictly based on the available facts.

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

This is one of the most cynical pieces of product I've ever seen, like you can practically imagine the computer algorithm that came up with the pitch. And being based on a comic doesn't excuse anything, everything is based on a comic these days, that's the fucking problem. Aaron Eckhart, you are better than this crap

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

bullet3 wrote:

This is one of the most cynical pieces of product I've ever seen, like you can practically imagine the computer algorithm that came up with the pitch. And being based on a comic doesn't excuse anything, everything is based on a comic these days, that's the fucking problem. Aaron Eckhart, you are better than this crap

I believe that has already been established.

I was going to say, the fact that is a comic book/ graphic novel adaptation did not excuse Spider-man, or Thor regarding how the film was put together. I'm withholding judgement, simply because I am not a huge Frankenstein fan. The story has been done and done again so this one just doesn't grab me but it might be worth a watch.

God loves you!

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

I never said it could get away being shit because it's a comic book. I said it's based on a comic book hence looking like a comic book and having comic-esque elements. Period. Full stop. Thank you very much.

ZangrethorDigital.ca

Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Just don't watch it, nobody's holding a gun to your head (go watch it, because it was shot in Melbourne).

http://if.com.au/2013/01/18/article/I-F … BWSZY.html

It's being released here in January 2014.

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

BDA wrote:

I never said it could get away being shit because it's a comic book. I said it's based on a comic book hence looking like a comic book and having comic-esque elements. Period. Full stop. Thank you very much.

Whoops, sorry...

Dave wrote:

Just don't watch it, nobody's holding a gun to your head (go watch it, because it was shot in Melbourne).

http://if.com.au/2013/01/18/article/I-F … BWSZY.html

It's being released here in January 2014.

http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-support-australia-1.png

God loves you!

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

FireFighter214 wrote:

This looks like a big budget Asylum movie.

Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Xtroid wrote:

This looks like a big budget Asylum movie.

Yep, that's how I feel about it too

God loves you!

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Xtroid wrote:

This looks like a big budget Asylum movie.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts … 4011582599

not long to go now...

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

With any luck it might be 'so bad it's good', but you don't get many of those these days. More 'so bad, it's time to have a shower'.
It might be okay to flick through on Netflix one day so you can enjoy the nerd-snark when all the critics rip into it e.g. it's a portent of the demise of the western civilization.

Last edited by avatar (2014-01-25 19:25:16)

not long to go now...

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

I only just now realized he's saying "descender of the demon horde" instead of "defender" and oh god what is happening.

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Darth Praxus wrote:

I only just now realized he's saying "descender of the demon horde" instead of "defender" and oh god what is happening.

It's because he descends them. Like, he makes them go down. Into Hell. Brilliant writing.

I saw it yesterday. It's terri-great. I laughed my ass off. None of the actors are capable of selling the idiotic dialogue, least of all Aaron Eckhart. Miranda Otto's LOTR experience helps her out, but even she can't get away with lines like, "I am High Queen of the Gargoyle Order."

I'll let you see it for yourself, because it's truly amazing, but I do want to share one detail. The Gargoyle Headquarters is not only in the same city as the Demon Headquarters, but they're within walking distance of each other. And the Gargoyles apparently didn't know that.

"The Doctor is Submarining through our brains." --Teague

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Doctor Submarine wrote:
Darth Praxus wrote:

I only just now realized he's saying "descender of the demon horde" instead of "defender" and oh god what is happening.

It's because he descends them. Like, he makes them go down. Into Hell. Brilliant writing.

I saw it yesterday. It's terri-great. I laughed my ass off. None of the actors are capable of selling the idiotic dialogue, least of all Aaron Eckhart. Miranda Otto's LOTR experience helps her out, but even she can't get away with lines like, "I am High Queen of the Gargoyle Order."

I'll let you see it for yourself, because it's truly amazing, but I do want to share one detail. The Gargoyle Headquarters is not only in the same city as the Demon Headquarters, but they're within walking distance of each other. And the Gargoyles apparently didn't know that.

http://media.veryfunnypics.eu/2012/10/funny-picture-a-man-using-apple-maps-walks-into-a-bar-555x366.jpg

God loves you!

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

I was watching something with my mom the other day and a TV spot for this appeared. She said to me: "That video game looks really silly." I explained to her it was a movie and she couldn't understand why or how it got made. She legitimately thought I, Frankenstein was a video game because of all the crappy looking effects and color correction. I think that perfectly captures the general public's reaction to this turd.

Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/aaron- … vie,35072/

not long to go now...

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Zarban wrote:

I don't know. This is exactly in keeping with everything Hollywood has done lately. Recycle an old property, take it in a different direction, Americanize it with guns and California accents, tart it up with effects.... Is this any different from Hansel & Gretel?

Not seen this presumed POS, but Hansel and Gretel was great fun to watch.

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere. - Carl Sagan

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Re: I, Frankenstein..... what?

Hey, I just remembered a detail from the movie that I'm sure you science nerds will LOVE.

The finale is predicated on the impending reanimation of this Frankenstein's Monster Army. The demons need bodies to possess so that they can return to Earth, but those bodies are useless if they aren't alive (?) so they need a body that's alive but that doesn't have a soul (???). So there's a ticking clock element introduced when the villain starts the reanimation process, and we see an LED screen on each of the machines that reads "0% REANIMATED."

And it starts going up. "1% REANIMATED. 2% REANIMATED."

Hey, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that being alive or dead isn't a FUCKING SPECTRUM. Like, either you're alive or you aren't. What does it mean to be 45% reanimated? Especially considering that none of them wake up and start moving until the thing reaches 100%.

I can't believe I sat through this whole movie sober and didn't kill myself.

"The Doctor is Submarining through our brains." --Teague

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