I watched these with 10-year-olds and had a good time, altho neither goes to the top of the list.

I'd heard Josie and the Pussycats was a lot of fun and figured it would be about the band solving a crime, but really it was pretty much the old success-spoils-you story with a thick coating of commercialism-is-bad. It mostly hit the right notes, but plot-wise the girls are WAY too passive. Almost nothing that happens is driven by their actions. There is, I think, one single scene in which Josie does some genuine sleuthing.

Aside: my niece said "That's not Carson Daly. His face is too fat."

I'd heard ParaNorman got good reviews and was happy to find an animated movie my niece and nephew had never seen. It started out pretty great, but I started to feel like it was a bit hollow. It takes quite a while for the plot to develop, for one thing, and Norman is left guessing as to what he needs to do, which seems frustrating in a kid-oriented film. There's really no clues about the nature of the terrifying events until the end of the second act, which seems too late.

Last edited by Zarban (2013-08-18 05:51:03)

Celebrating Roman Polanski's 80th birthday?

Watched James Gunn's Super the other day. I found it pretty meh. Some of the early sequences were great, but the movie felt a little aimless, and it didn't have much to say about the superhero genre, even though its premise is ripe for parody. Still, Gunn has a very distinctive style, and I'm really excited for Guardians of the Galaxy.

I've seen Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome a few times, so I decided to check out the first one.

Don't expect too much from Mad Max. It's a clunky and simplistic action movie that will entertain you for 93 minutes. If you're looking for the quintessential grindhouse experience, see this one.

Jake muthafuckin' Busey, in a Busification story like no other. It's possible that the Asylum's budgets are growing, their "lead actress" (Tinarie van Wyk Loots) converses with her husband (C. Thomas Howell) topless for several minutes (and then becomes nothing but a voice on the phone until the final shot). Their acting and chemistry could and should have carried the film, IMO. The VFX were no worse than you'd expect, the set extensions in particular were fairly spot-on. In truth, I only watched about 35 minutes of it and then skimmed forward to the final few moments in the vain hope of more boobage.

War of the Worlds, from The Asylum:

Last edited by drewjmore (2013-08-19 23:18:12)

Huh, I never realized, poster looks fine to me. Wiki poster substituted.

If you're hotlinking somebody else's image, it's a good policy to do a hard refresh of the page after you post.   If the image successfully reloads, then you're probably good to go.

And shame on them for leaving that door open. 

We did.

Oz: The Horrible and Mind Boggling

Alright, I knew this one was gonna be bad, but boooooy howdy did it ever blow harder than I ever imagined. This one actually makes an interesting counterpoint to the Croods that I talked about in my last post. They both depend heavily on me buying into this really wacky and wild universe and letting that carry the bulk of the weight. And where the Croods succeeded in that, this failed HARD. The problem is that at all times it feels like it's screaming "LOOK HOW COOL IS THIS!! OH MY GOD IT"S SO WEEEEEEIIIIIRD!! DON"T YOU THINK?? IT'S SOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOLL!!"all while trying to shove pages of crayon scribbles and glitter as far into my eye sockets as possible. It suffers from the same problem as Burtons Alice In Wonderland, that tried and failed to do the same thing; it overuses it's digital-ness and so everything very quickly becomes this same monotone digital smear across the screen that fails to hold any attention whatsoever.

The...erm..."acting"...and I use that term incredibly loosely was so overdone and...just bad. I lack the synonyms to properly express it, it was just painful to watch at times. I'm pretty sure everyone thought it was supposed to be awfully charming, but it's like no one even cared. When the characters aren't trying to be some variation of charming they are so completely overdone as to be completely laughable (Literally at the transformation of Mila Kunis' character, I literally burst out laughing, threw my hands and in the air and said "I'm out".

The digital characters felt about as lifeless as the environments did, again just adding to that digital smear accross the screen, not really making themselves known, but not truly blending into the background either. They were just kind of there and apparently I was supposed to care about them, but...eeeh....not so much with the that.

It's been said before, but I'll say it again, James Franco is usually great and can carry a lot on his shoulders, but in this either the weight was too much or something. My main problem with his character is that he such a MASSIVE dick to everyone indiscriminately and without cause. It's like the screenwriters/Franco (Cause I know half that shit was improv) got a one line character description and had to run with it: "Is a massive dick but then later isn't, kinda." Even up til the end his an asshole: Spoilers for the end, but trust me you don't care.

Ultimately the movie just fails on every front it tries. It's just bad. i can't even say it's pretty because after 30 seconds in Oz everything blurs together and I just wind up feeling like my eyes are at some sort of paint flinging orgy or something. And yeah, just bad... horrible. Adds nothing to the Oz universe and is just 2 hours of an un-entertaining mess.

Honeslty what hurts more than ANY of that... we have James Franco, Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz, threee incredibly talented and gorgeous people, all on screen together. And it's....this. Ugh.

I'm just gonna be over here in the corner crying.
.
.
.
.

So BDA...tell us how you really felt.

Last edited by BigDamnArtist (2013-08-20 07:34:41)

Decided to go back and watch Star Trek: The Motion Picture. 

I enjoyed it.  It has a certain cheese element, but I didn't have a problem with that.  As I was watching it, I couldn't help but think of The Black Hole, and even wondered if it was the same director.  It turns out they both came out the same year, so the similar feel makes sense.

I was going to jump over to 3 next, but neither prime nor netflix have it.  So i started on 5...i've only seen the first few minutes of it and I can't decide if Kirk free climbing El Capitan is fantastically hilarious, or just just plain dumb.  Either way, I kept watching (until I passed out).  i guess i'll see where it goes.

Man Of Tai Chi (2013) - 5/10

This might be a generous 5 rating, but this fighting movie directed by Keanu Reeves is somewhat entertaining, in a bad-movie way. Paperthin plot, and Keanu is more wooden here than ever before (also he barely does anything in the film), but the fight choreography is for the most part quite engaging, and not overly cut up or "overchoreographed" to the point where you can tell the actors are just going through the motions. A fairly pretty movie aswell. Expect no plot whatsoever, some Tai Chi mumbo-jumbo. Corny. Cheesy. But still sort of OK all considered.

Primal Fear (1996) - 6/10

Well-directed and plotted film. Ed Norton is great as a murder suspect. All actors do a fine job. My gripe is that the plot is fairly simplistic, most likely a sign of its age more than anything. Still, engaging about the lawyer (Richard Gere) who is going to defend Norton in court. Feels a bit like a TV movie, low-key and not really flashy at all.

Pain & Gain (2013) - 3/10

(that's a still from an actual scene...)

I only got through half of it (and that was with ice cream as comfort food mind you...). Imagine Transformers without Shia Labeoufs charisma and you are pretty much there. The plot (based on a true story no less) about some idiots that kidnap a guy and extort him is played as a slapstick comedy (the still above is from the scene where they try to burn him alive in his car... yeah, that's our protagonists, walking away from a 'splosion in slow-mo, in the act of BURNING AN INNOCENT PERSON ALIVE). It's just bizarre how they handled this material. The actors, The Rock in particular, sometimes manages to make small moments funny, but overall this movie just feels... wrong.

I think the RedLetterMedia guys found the best word for it: tonedeaf. They also had a slightly longer description:

It's the dumb jock in your High School trying to write a poem... that's what Pain & Gain was. Like... "Your tits... are as big as balloons. I squeeze them... yet they do not pop".

Just stay away. This will lower your IQ. Imagine a Michael Bay movie. You've now seen this movie.

Los Cronocrímenes (Timecrimes) (2007) - 7/10

Time travelling. Spanish. Done on a small budget. If you liked Primer this might be your cup of tea. The story starts out very small, but builds more and more. It feels overly bare at the outset, but once it's over I was very glad I saw it. Like Primer the filmmaking is pretty subdued, and the script and events take center stage.

Triangle (2009) - 8/10

I am including this film despite watching it quite a long time ago. I would probably recommend this over the "Timecrimes" movie above.
I actually kind of adore this movie. I've seen it 3 times so far, but there is something about it and the atmosphere it creates that keeps me coming back. After I've watched this film, I have this quite profound sense of loss and melancholy, and I love it for it. Written and Directed by Christopher Smith (Severance, also a great horror film), this one is mild horror/mainly thriller domain.
I don't really want to give anything away plotwise, but let's just say if you like The Shining, or movies regarding split realities or timeloops or similar themes, this will probably be right up your alley. What I will say that this film has a superb, surreal atmosphere. Great actors aswell.
This is one film I would really urge anyone to see. It's interesting, very well directed, very well acted, and there is a filmmaker behind this. Christopher Smith is one of my favourite writers and directors thanks to this and, to a slightly lesser extent, Severance.

Red Dragon (2002) - 6/10

"Manhunter" with slightly higher technical aspects, but made for the lowest common denominator, and lacking the personality and more somber interesting character moments of the original. Everything is spelled out or illustrated, or explained in voice-over. There is no room for your imagination in this film. It is crowded out completely.

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) - 6/10

The plot makes no real sense if you look at it. When watching it, you can follow it well enough. Individual moments are just restrained enough to where the characters can come through all the CGI. You can tell there is a filmmaker buried under all the gloss.
I don't know. Overall harmless. I was not bored at any point while watching it, which surprised me. I went in with low expectations and it exceeded them.

Now You See Me (2013) - 4/10

I like Louis Leterrier. The Ed Norton hulk was pretty good. Danny The Dog even better. This was pretty painful in all aspects, not overly so while watching it, but certainly after the fact. It's a movie about magicians that perform very elaborate stage shows while scamming people in the process.
The story makes a point of them simply being performers and illusionists, yet after the movie is over you'd swear these characters are are simultaneously Tony Stark (they've even got tech so mindnumbingly stupid it would feel out of place in an Iron Man film) and the Joker from The Dark Knight (their foresight of future events and ability to do anything they want).

It's just a stupid movie. There is nothing here really, it's the Stark expo scenes from Iron Man extended to a movie, complete with the same irritating, soundtrack playing to try to keep the momentum going so you don't stop to notice how hollow it is. You are supposed to sympathize with the illusionist characters, yet they are so completely superior in their planning there is no tension at any point. Wait, just now something seemed to happen. No, you are wrong. It was all part of the plan. The Joker strikes again.
Character interactions are either poorly directed, or edited so quickly that is almost feels like an episode of Gilmore girls. Quip, quip, quip, quip, next scene.
The payoff at the end is just a big black hole, no explanation.
This was a waste of time. It sort of felt like if Michael Bay watched The Prestige and then wanted to do something similar. Any scene, tech, or event is either stupid, overly contrived, or unbelievable.
To be fair, in the 2nd half of it I was interested in where it was going. But the answer was unfortunately the aforementioned black hole.

Last edited by TechNoir (2013-08-21 22:47:35)