*cracks knuckles* Lets do this.
Fisherman's Wharf Touristy as fuck but also goddamned gorgeous views of the bay. You can see Alcatraz, Golden Gate, Berkley, even Oakland. If you're down with shellfish I recommend Hog Island Oyster Co. (they actually own their own Oyster farm, and everything you eat there was farmed that morning) and Crab House. That's not far from the....
Embarcadero Which is just goddamned serene. If you ever want to know why Hitchcock called SF America's Paris, this is part of the reason why.
Chinatown It is the largest Chinatown in the US, and it actually has real historic value. And unlike LA's Chinatown, it actually has great Chinese food (OOOhhhh Burn!). You could easily lose a whole day here. I don't recommend that because you still need to see..
The Haight What was the epicenter of the hippie counterculture is now a good cross section of crunchy granola culture and silicon valley bro culture. Still, there's lots to see and do in the Haight, and that is set evident once you get there.
The Metreon I mean, yes, it's a mall. But its unlike any mall you've been to. The food court is better tasting and healthier than most restaurants, the theaters there are great, and it is SPECTACULAR people watching.
Berkley Would you like a glimpse of a utopian society? Then take the BART (the subway, which is vastly superior to LA's and like a million times cleaner, except for the Mission District and the Tenderloin). Trees as green as Oregon, everyone is shockingly friendly, most everyone is of mixed race. If you need to chill and get away from the city, there's no better place to sip coffee, do some yoga, and/or get blazed as fuck (if that's your thing).
Everywhere It bears repeating that San Francisco's public transportation is the best on the west coast. Just get out there man and explore. It's technically a small city (40 square miles) but its so packed people an deplanes and refreshingly diverse.
Resteraunts In addition to the two on the Wharf I mentioned, I recommend Tartine Bakery, Ryoko's sushi, Chotto Ramen, La Taqueria. Canela Bistro, Slanted Door, Rich Table.
Eddie Doty