Although, I would have thought the exact opposite of trimming from the middle, that's the thinnest part of the entire thing I feel (Unless you meant taking the reveals at putting them at the end as trimming?).
Personally, if I had the free reign to, I would have rewritten the opening to be at least half the length, as it is, I already editted out 4-5 lines of dialouge in post. That entire section just feels bloated.
And that's an interesting idea of putting all the reveals at the end, definitely gives it a different feel. But to defend what Riley had written/what I was trying to do, the joke as written was leaning way more heavily on the punch-line of the pun, than the actual reveals of the acts themselves (as written we'd see the joke/reveal in one shot). Which I'll grant you is a feeble excuse at best, and only really works when you don't know the title beforehand.
Ultimately, I think, it stills just comes down to the whole adapting things written for the stage to film, in most cases being hemmed in by the script verbatim. As well as all of the actors being stage actors where the flow and timing is completely different, namely slower. It's something I'm trying to get the cast adapted too, but it's a work in progress.
And it played... alright. Not as well as I hoped. There was some good laughs, but the problem with the space they perform in, is that the acoustics suuuuuuck, so you get any decent amount of laughter and that's all you can hear. So most of the verbal jokes/reveals get paved over by laughter and get missed. -shrug- ah well, way it goes.
My movies: ZangrethorDigital.ca
Let's plays: youtube.com/bigdamnartist
Other movie thing I do: youtube.com/BullskitComedy