Well there's no accounting for taste 

An exchange I particularly enjoyed:

CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD: You would not believe the morning I’ve had.

JAFAR: Why is the Captain of my Royal Guard covered in shit?

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD: Well, my men and I just jumped from a window and into a cart of Crazy Hakim’s Discount Fertilizer.

JAFAR: Why?

CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD: We were chasing a man - no, a devil. A thief who every day robs from the common folk. Bread, laundry off of clothes lines...and even watermelons. We try to catch him but he’s always just one jump ahead.  Today things got a little out of hand and a lot of good people are dead.  The sword swallower slit his throat from the inside when the thief’s pet monkey ripped the sword right out of it.  You know the guy who sleeps on the bed of nails?

JAFAR: Yes...

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD: A fat guard fell on him. Now he’s dead.  Then when we fell into the cart of manure, Kabal snapped his neck on impact, two more choked on shit... All this, for a loaf of bread.

I tried to sleep through the last hour of The Hobbit 2. I would've just left but I was there with my family...but I took the 3D glasses off and closed my eyes and just anger-listened to the ridiculousness. I saw it at The Embassy (which Peter Jackson basically owns) with the whole super fast frame rate thing, whatever it is, and no that did not make it more watchable.

I hated it. Worse than the first one. It was so BORING and pointless. And it made me so sad and angry because I loved Lord of the Rings so hard (still do). I would have to hear serious 5* reviews for the next movie to even consider going to see it.

And of course Peter Jackson has the NZ Government under his thumb, he's build a huge film industry in Wellington and brought in an insane amount of money (which I'm not complaining about at all). Also John Key is our current Prime Minister and if anyone is a pushover it's him. Ugh.

I also know from people who work at Weta that Desolation of Smaug was not finished until almost literally the last second before its release, because Peter wouldn't stop changing things. Not an easy man to work for, I believe it is true that power has gone to his head because while he's always been a perfectionist, it has apparently got incredibly hard to work for him and stay sane.

As some friends of mine who rode horses on Rings said after seeing the first Hobbit movie, "It's like all the heart has gone out of it...like he doesn't love it anymore."

My take on Man of Steel – silly. boring. Over-blown. I’m with Teague on the lack of character development. Way too many buildings are destroyed. WAY too many people die. The music and explosions hurt my ears. Also, there's a thing called a steady-cam. Look it up.

On the upside, Henry Cavill could not be more beautiful to look at. Damn. He’s pretty much the only reason I went to see it on opening night anyway, and for him alone, I say WORTH IT.  (Call me shallow, I don't care. I'm human.)

But as far as the movie itself went – meh. I probably got most excited when I recognised two actors from Battlestar Galactica in quick succession and was then totally distracted for the next ten minutes thinking about how much more interesting this movie would be if it had Starbuck in it.

And the only part I don’t like about Jake Lloyd’s reboot idea is keeping the first 20 minutes. I was bored out of my mind watching that crap (I hated Avatar anyway) and if I hadn’t paid my money mostly to see Henry Cavill in tights, I honestly might have walked out at that point. I did genuinely consider it, and I rarely walk out of movies. But if it was on TV, I'd have changed channels.

Overall, I’m not going to be recommending this to people, unless they would think Henry Cavill in tights is worth paying $17 to go and see on a huge screen. Which it is, actually...but only once. Make a better sequel, and I’ll be back. I might even go twice.

Really enjoyed this commentary, because it backs up so much stuff that I've been trying to convince teenage girls of for quite some time! (I worked as a summer camp counselor for several summers in a row.)

Especially loved the comments about the kids would love Edward even if he was played by a mop. I have long believed this, particularly because I find Robert Pattinson incredibly unattractive.

For the record, Stephenie Meyer has gone on record saying that in her head, Edward looked like Henry Cavill (specifically from his scenes in "The Count of Monte Cristo").

Thanks for this commentary, it kept me sane today while work was driving me crazy. And I love Titanic because I was a 15 year old girl when it came out... I had all the Leo posters on my wall, etc etc.

Nowdays, I look at it and wonder quite what it was that I saw in Leo's baby face, but I still love the movie. 2/3 of the way through your commentary, I popped over to YouTube and watched the original trailer, and discovered that it still gives me goosebumps.

Quick thoughts on Star Trek:

I'm no Trekkie - I literally know next to nothing about the franchise, characters etc. I saw the earlier Star Trek movie, but only once and I barely remember it.

I went to Star Trek Into Darkness with my mum, as an excursion (dinner and a movie) for Mother's Day. And considering she found Serenity to  be "too violent", it's possible that part of my consciousness was wondering what she was thinking of it (she is a fan of the original show as a teenager) but loathes violence in general. She enjoyed it, I enjoyed it. Sure, there were massive plot holes and some scenes made me roll my eyes uncontrollably, but overall, I liked the message of the movie, that people in power have a responsibility to be careful and respectful of that power, and of other cultures. In direct contrast to how I felt leaving the cinema after Iron Man, which seemed to believe the exact opposite (certainly from a world-view perspective) and I walked out of Star Trek with a smile on my face. I didn't think too hard about it, but it didn't offend or annoy me on any serious level. Overall I give it a 3 / 5. I wouldn't pay to see it again, but I didn't feel like I'd wasted hours of my life.