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Friends In Your Head | Forums → Posts by fcw
I've never seen it, who get's naked? 7 of the top 8 starring credits are guys. It's not Patrick Stewart, is it? *shiver*
Sure, why not?
In my inexplicably unpublished Curious Dikshunary of English Wordes and Frazes, the entry for "objectively bad" cites Lifeforce as the defining example.
Oh brother...
Some Website wrote:"Recently Timur Bekmambetov came to us with this never-before-seen footage, apparently of the Apollo 18 space mission, and, as filmmakers, we were absolutely compelled to bring it to the screen for audiences to judge for themselves."
"...because, as journalists, our ability to judge things is clearly appalling."
Wait.... 1776 BC. Oh, man, new Asylum screenplay comin' up! "Timequake"...! American heraldry...! Bison-drawn chariots...! George Washington fights a dragon...! Somebody, get me Barry Bostwick's phone number!!
EDIT: Wait, wait! He fights a gigantic snake that he has to cut into 13 pieces! DON'T TREAD ON ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
How about: George Washington and Ben Franklin have been banished to the distant past by Nazi scientists, determined to prevent American entry into WWII. And they have to travel to Egypt to steal the Eye of Horus from the Great Pyramid of Cheops, to power their Chariot of the Gods that takes them to 1945, where it turns out George Washington killed Hitler and liberated Paris on the same day. Meanwhile, Ben Franklin invents nuclear-powered underpants that safely blast him and George back to 1776 with relatively few permanent injuries, while accidentally destroying two Japanese cities, before dropping panty shrapnel in Roswell, New Mexico.
And that's how we got the glowing-eye pyramid on the dollar bill.
Too subtle? It's too subtle, isn't it?
Al Pacino might be a good example - six Oscar nominations without a win, finally on the 7th turn he wins... for Scent Of A Woman? Was that really Pacino's most Oscar-worthy performance? Compared to Serpico or Godfather or Dog Day Afternoon? Really?
I think that was a "just give him one fer pete's sake" win.
Or, for that matter, Jerry Goldsmith. Eight nominations for best score, including Planet of the Apes, Patton, Chinatown and The Wind and the Lion, yet he finally wins for The Omen.
Then, another eight noms, including Star Trek: the Motion Picture, Under Fire, Basic Instinct and Poltergeist, without another win.
What's also annoying are movies that apparently re-write actual events for no good reason other than that Americans can be credited with them. For example, U-571, where a British operation from before US involvement in WWII got re-written as an American operation.
There are tons of relationships in, oh say, TNG that absolutely don't work for me, that might work for you.
For some reason, I'm thinking of Deanna and Worf as a couple.
But it's worth recognizing your hate for this movie has become self aware and spawned an engine of perpetual motion that cannot be dissuaded from its supposition of this movie sucking, irrespective of wether or not the performance of two actors simply "works," for someone else or not.
I have a friend who really likes Star Trek: Nemesis. I think it's an object lesson in bad story-telling, and I was once tempted to rigorously prove to them, with diagrams and everything, just why they were objectively wrong to like it. But I didn't, because I figured they were as entitled to enjoy it as I was to rigorously prove its suckiness.
And your mom's hole is driven by dick.
Plot...hole...none of this worked.
And that's why writers get the big bucks.
Yeah, I think we're on the same page, I'm just asserting my opinion to make sure everyone knows how big my dick is.
8===============>
Where 1 "=" = your penis
Your dick is plot-driven.
Right, totally. My only contention is that plot versus character driven are not so much two equally valid sides of the same coin as one is diligent storytelling and the other is lazy storytelling.
Oh, I agree. I think of plot-driven as an insult, and character-driven as how you're supposed to do it; I didn't mean to suggest they're equally good.
fcw wrote:I explain this to people as the difference between plot-driven and character-driven stories.
That's a false distinction I think. If your characters are properly crafted, they will create the plot that you want. "Plot driven" is just a nice way of saying what happens in the movie happens because the filmmaker wants it to happen, as opposed to crafting the characters that would create those events organically.
Yeah, by plot-driven, I mean that the character's decisions are not flowing from who they are, what they believe and what they need right now, but apparently arbitrarily, according to what the next scene in the story requires them to have done by then. Sure, the writer will probably have had a plot in mind when crafting the characters, but it has to seem like the characters are in charge of their own destinies for it to be character-driven to me.
My experience of analyzing stories is that, written well, characters pull every compelling story along, and the plot only becomes apparent when you back at the tracks they left. Whereas, those stories that fail have the bones of the plot sticking out like ribs on a supermodel. I can't think of a movie, off-hand, whose story could be fairly described both ways.
Right, the real heart of believability is human behavior. Do the characters behave in such a way that feels true?
I explain this to people as the difference between plot-driven and character-driven stories.
The perfect comparison is the original and prequel Star Wars trilogies. Exact same fantastical settings and one grips you while the other bludgeons you.
My favourite comparison is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan versus Star Trek: Nemesis: the former has a story pushed along by clearly-defined characters each doing their best in the immediate circumstances in pursuit of larger goals; the latter has muddled ciphers tramlining through a cocktastically insulting plot that was desperately cookie-cuttered from Wrath of Khan itself.
I have never seen Unforgiven. I feel ashamed.
Beer and ice cream! Oh, wait, ashamed. Um...beer, ice cream and strippers?
I officially don't know what's going on in this thread.
Oh, how did you get your understandable lack of comprehension officiated?
I've been looking for a bona fide rubber stamp of confusion for nearly as long as I've been typing this sentence.
I like you, Shifty. That's why I'm going to kill you last.
Trey Stokes, you are a fickle nemesis. What about our deal, that I will have given to a time monkey to take into your past only the other week, as far as you know?
fcw wrote:Or, how about doing Dern In Front?
The 'Burbs
Family Plot
The Driver
Silent Running
The Incredible 2-Headed TransplantNot necessarily in that order, of course.
I saw an online article recently that basically dismissed Bruce Dern as Laura's dad who also did some acting himself. Ptui. Laura's the daughter of BRUCE FRICKIN' DERN and DIANE GODDAM LADD, and get off my lawn if you don't know that.
The other week, I mentioned to an actual grown-up colleague that Tony Curtis had died. "Who?" he said, in all obliviosity.
Kids today, we haven't yet reminded them enough that they're born. Before I get back to that...
Anyhoo. Silent Running I've been trying to get my fellow Beatles interested in covering someday, with mixed success.
Did you assplain to them that the robots are called Huey, Dewey and Louie?
And Family Plot is a curiosity, but mostly a sad one - Hitchcock's last film, and in my opinion he made one film too many.
Hence my suggestion for DIFing. Any bunch of idiots can simper over Vertigo or North by Northwest, but it takes a really experienced bunch to do it over Family Plot, or Torn Curtain, or Marnie, or Frenzy.
But no Dern series would be complete without The Cowboys, a movie that I love for many reasons and Dern is only one of them.
I do not think I have seen that movie, and now I am sad.
But beer and ice cream will make me happy again.
Or, how about doing Dern In Front?
The 'Burbs
Family Plot
The Driver
Silent Running
The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant
Not necessarily in that order, of course.
...choose-your-Hitchcock...
Actually, for your upcoming Hitchcocktail, whose imminence you can no longer deny, I'd suggest a bunch of his others that might be more worthy of getting DIFed:
Rebecca
Rear Window
Strangers on a Train
Family Plot
Actually, there's something about the wobbling that screams "1980s!" to me, and that spoils the overall effect. I think it's because there's a depth to a face that's being undermined by those wobbles, which draw attention to the fundamental planarity of the image in a way that none of the rest of the effects do, if you see what I mean.
Now, if you guys had quaffed just ten more seconds of Haterade, you would have made this episode length 2:22:22. Which would have meant sooo much more to pointlessly paranoid Peter Parker pattern spotters everywhere. Or so the voices tell me.
That's the very picture I was going to draw, with the ass and everything.
My job here is done.
They even stole it before you had it.
That shows just how deep the rabbit hole goes... wake up sheeple!
Rabbits are just the fall-guys for the real time-immune villians, Jabba the Hutt's Chrono-Army of Backward-Facing Klepto-Monkeys. Which he keeps UP HIS ASS!
Did you never wonder why he suddenly just APPEARED in the official historical records after decades of not being in them? And why he walks like that?
And why Greedo nearly shoots first now?
MONKEYS!! STEALING YOUR PAST AND SHOVING IT UP THE FUTURE!!!
Do I have to draw you a picture?
P.S., Grand Moff Tarkin = 15 letters. *tap* *tap* Is this thing on?
Friends In Your Head | Forums → Posts by fcw
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