I'm not available today. Lots of meetings where I look concerned yet optimistic.

I googled it. It's called a smart phone.

I also googled Newt Gingrich. He's an out-of-touch, fat-headed, pseudo-intellectual, failed politician.

For the Doctor himself, I can imagine that his curiosity gets the better of him ("What's gone wrong here?"). But for the companions, who just want to go to the greatest ever theme park or library or honeymoon cruise or Elvis concert or whatever, it's silly.

Those prices are galling. This can only be the result of a failure of competition in the marketplace.

It's preposterous to think that a single piece of consumer software should cost as much as the computer plus operating system it runs on. Software engineers should be starving, groveling animals, snuffling hungrily for morsels tossed to them by customers.

You know, like artists.

Yeah, all of Kyle's stuff sounds great. I'll use it anytime I'm standing overnight watch at a morgue or exploring a haunted house. Especially that rendition of "Drunken Whaler". Creeptastic.

So, what is really wrong with Van Helsing? I mean, I can point to specific things I don't like, and the panel did as well, but what's the bottom line? Is this script just too much of a mess to save?

To me, it's got about three movies' worth (or a whole TV season's worth) of monsters and villains and crazy happenings. I can't imagine how anyone read a script like that and gave it the green light. It must have read like a story made up by a breathless 8-year-old.