Would Seth Macfarlane singing lewd songs about Teague's boobs be a punishment or a reward?

Anyone else's footage missing? For instance, MINE? I'm sure I can re-upload to somewhere if required.

When I see Doug Liman's original Bourne Identity, it's so much more coherent visually than Greengrass's wobbly chop-suey sequels.

The action scenes in Quantum of Solace are just a depressing ruin, particularly given the amount of effort everyone must have put in to make exciting things happen in front of the cameras, only to have confusing things happen in front of the audience.

I'm so pleased that there are still directors who know how to shoot action with long, steady shots, such as Brad Bird in MI: Ghost Protocol, and that know how to maintain coherence as they cut between moving camera shots, such as JJ Abrams in Star Trek.

I'll tell you what really annoys me: frivolous twitchiness of the camera when the scene is just talking heads. I've seen a reporter doing a piece to camera in a news item, and the shot is full of changes of framing, short snap zooms and faffing with focus. "Sod off and create music videos on your own time!" I want to yell at the camera operator.

Meanwhile, in other alleged news, the 50th anniversary special will supposedly feature all eleven Doctors.

Maybe we should ask Terry Gilliam to cut the thing, then; I believe he's used to working on cursed projects.

As a Scot, I can also speak English, and (with a warm-up) reasonable German and touristy French. My wife can also speak touristy French and reasonable Italian. Immediate work colleagues can speak (at least) Urdu, Chinese, Swedish, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Polish and French.

Maybe I'm spoilt by working in London, but is this that unusual these days?

I'd love to see the storyboards used to plan those videos. Where, by 'storyboards', I mean 'drugs'.

If you enjoyed this film with awful villains, Film-O-Tron 5000 believes you might also like:

• Supergirl -- my, how Peter Cook can't do film acting

• My Super Ex-Girlfriend -- Eddie Izzard is quite surprisingly terrible

Note: Film-O-Tron 5000 is within 61% of your taste envelope 83% of the time. Your liking may vary. Void where empty.

I certainly wouldn't bet on it.

Translate, please, Mr Spock:

Also, I notice that, in this Italian one, Leia has been coloured pink and Luke blue:

It's as if they didn't expect people to know who was the boy and who was the girl without colour-coding.