You are not logged in. Please login or register.
Friends In Your Head | Forums → Posts by Writhyn
Kibouchi is still occasionally active, he's newer.
Also, guys, you've been great. There's only a few of us especially active here, and you really don't owe us anything. It's been awesome to chat and make stuff, and whatever work you've put into this site is appreciated. We aren't entitled to this, by any means. Thank you!
Blade 4: Runner
o_O
Just saying, I've never seen Tom and Kibs in the same room...
Agreed. I'm also really pleased with the revamp and I'm not sure I would've thought to change anything if you hadn't voiced your opinion.
Libations for everybody!
Ok, in the meantime, I took a hard look at what I've got, and I agree that it could use a bit of a revamp. It's not on the level that I suspect Teague is getting at, but I:
1) Cut Blue's conversation with Con by two minutes
2) added a bit at the beginning to set up the sense of place and the group dynamic
3) streamlined some exposition
4) made Con a little more stressed
and 5) still managed to shave a minute off of the entire beginning (up until Con calls Argus about his suit)
See what you all think:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B34wSs … sp=sharing
EDIT:
Realized I used the wrong mic for Grimm on the couple new lines. I'll fix that later.
Sidenote: it's really, really helpful for rewrites that I played two characters 
Incidentally, if anyone else thinks the opening scenes are too long, it would be helpful to know if it's "just Teague" or more of an issue.
As Brian said: If 1 or 2 out of 10 people say something, it may not matter much. But if 9/10 people say it, you've got a problem.
I'd love to hear whatever details/suggestions you got sir. I can't say that I'll be able to redo that much of it, but if nothing else it may help edit some stuff to shorten the opening.
Another buddy of mine said the first scene with Blue was hard for him too, so it's not just you. Whether you wanna make more notes here or email them I'd be happy to take what you have.
Here's Draft 3, addressing the issues raised about gaps in dialogue. I've left those pauses I felt were necessary, though even most of those I've shortened a bit.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B34wSs … sp=sharing
Unless any major issues arise with this, I'm planning on attacking episode 2 tonight.
Yeah I've got that as feedback a few times now. I'll tighten it up more tonight and see how it sounds. Thanks all!
I'm not gonna be super-iterative about this, so here's an updated mp3 that I think addresses the right issues. If anyone has any suggestions, I'll fold them in and start working on the rest of the series.
I'm almost done, guys. Holy carp.
Thanks! I agree with your assessment of the Grimm/Con conversation. I think I've got too much pausing in it. I'll work on it.
Yeah, the squealer I'm proud of 
My guide for it was that I want the audience to be thinking, "What is the Squealer? Why do they call it that?.....Oh. That's why."
(Though if someone doesn't like it, I'm certainly open to your perspective)
I'm 3 minutes in, and while there are some bits that could probably be tighter, I'm liking it a lot.
Thanks for the listen!
Tighter in what way?
HERE WE GO FOOLS!
I've decided to post an episode for detailed feedback, so that I have some solid foundation to finish the rest of the series. If anyone is interested in listening, feel free, ON THE CONDITION that you leave some solid feedback. That's the price for Early Access 
So, details:
This is purely a story cut, so there's no intro or outro. That will come later.
Feedback I'm looking for is as detailed as you're willing to get. I appreciate positive AND negative critique: especially the latter, as it tends to produce more improvements
Feedback categories:
1) Story/experience: Does the story work for you? Characters sound good? How about the ambiance and sound effects? Do I need more? Less?
2) Audio/Production: how can the mixing improve? (I'm new to mixing, so PLEASE give me all the advice you can think of. I really want this to sound good!) Is the audio balanced? Is it pleasant to listen to? Is it unpleasant?
Thanks for all your support, friends!
LINK:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B34wSs … sp=sharing
PS The one thing I'm sure needs work is the low spaceship rumble in the background. I really like it, I want to keep it if possible, but it seems to wrestle with a lot of the dialogue. it gets a little muddy, but I don't know how to improve that.
I really like the one that one with a bend in the road with trees in the center.
Yeah, you're not allowed, Saniss.
Hey, gents. So I'm halfway done with the last character recordings (Grimm). I did two and a half episodes yesterday, so I'm pretty sure I can get him done and edited in by sunday.
Next stage: sound. Lots of ambient spaceshippy stuff, along with clicks and beeps and radio interference.
If anyone is interested in giving a listen before it's fully, fully done, I'll send out a version with the basic radio/dialogue/ambience for feedback when the time comes.
RE: Art
Teague is working on getting the Hyacinth model updated, although it's already 90% there just in his upload above. Saniss has volunteered to help with the art once we have the OBJ files.
Which brings me to one more thing: I'd like a model for the "shuttle" that features later in the story. That's a thing that I simply cannot do myself.
If Saniss, or anyone is able to design something, I'd really appreciate it. It'd be nice to have it available for art later on. Let me know if you're interested. It'd be a fairly simple vessel, much much smaller than the Missus.
As in all your gracious help, I won't be able to pay you (unless the optional donations on the end product yield a lot of money, in which case I will happily tip all you fools!)
Redwall. PG-13. This is a great story with badass visual potential. Especially with the current animal vfx. The main villain is described as a huge rat with scars, one eye, a stag-beetle-horn helmet, batwing cloak, and a tail long enough to use as a whip with a poisonous barb attached to the tip.
There's a similar discussion on the Noah DiF about watering (heh) down bible stories for children, which I agree with.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/pQp0RYoDC7EnRoB43
I'm fiddling around with some stuff. Thought it'd be neat to have a poster something like this eventually
Flippin' well-written, sir. I enjoyed this movie and this essay elevated my understanding of it.
This is hilarious, well-done, and incredibly weird.
I love it.
(I'd rather wander through the desert for 40 years than watch Exodus again).
I see what you did there ;D
Will do:
"test" is simply the once-per-week max pushups. Sunday morning is a good time for this. Just mark down your max each time next to each "test" on the corresponding date. This will help everyone see their progress.
"Goal" is simply 4x your first test. It is the number of consecutive pushups you are looking to be able to do at some point in the future. Mark it at the top so you know what you're aiming at. For me personally, I'm only shooting for 50 pushups before I change to more difficult variations.
the X on each day is to show you've completed your sets for that day: 4 sets of HALF your max pushups, with at least 30-minutes between each set, preferably 3 to 4 hours. On the 3rd week, each day will have 5 sets.
If I'm doing a terrible job explaining things, the links to the guide itself I posted above do a much better job.
Friends In Your Head | Forums → Posts by Writhyn
Powered by PunBB, supported by Informer Technologies, Inc.
Currently installed 9 official extensions. Copyright © 2003–2009 PunBB.
