Sorry about releasing that kraken. I just panicked.

Sorry everybody.

Goddammit! I'm 14 years clean and sober from Dungeons & Dragons, and you give me this?! Now I have to call my sponsor!

/Maybe I can make a saving throw against charms....

I feel the second page has already become too clever by half and overcomplicated things to the point that it's confusing when it's trying to be funny.

There still some good things in it, tho.

I hope the third page ties up some of these loose ends.

Is there really much of a mystery? Lucas changed important aspects of the original trilogy and added a bunch of clutter to what had been great films, then told everyone they could go to hell if they preferred the original versions.

As for the prequels, Lucas wrote a good first draft, which no one had the guts to tell him needed to be revised a couple of times to be good as a final draft. Then Lucas got overly involved in the casting, which he was never any good at, and hired some wrong people for the key roles.

Any further analysis is just fan nerdery. Of course, I'm as guilty as anyone of fan nerdery, but I'm not making a documentary to show off my high-water pants, pocket protector, and eyeglasses with tape on them.

Flavin.

Buckaroo Banzai. I can still whistle the theme, 25 years later.

*sigh*

/That has all kinds of uses.

Oh, sure. You thought someone named "Landporpus" would just automatically love anything with ships and water in it? And he'd just be clicking and chirrupping away and slappin' his tail and breaching with glee, didn't you?

"Oh no, no!" I hear you protest. "That's not what I meant at all! Some of my best friends are cetaceans!" And yet you wouldn't let a bufeo negro date your daughter, would you?

It's funny that you say that about a sequel. If you like Ripley in Alien, and you like Ripley in Aliens, then what does your sentence mean? Are you talking about the character's arc?

Without Jack, PotC:CotBP would whither on the vine. Barbossa is a great villain but not nearly enough to sustain it with only Will and Elizabeth to root for.

I love both story and character, but story is the elder child and will inherit my lands and titles. Still, I've seen good stories play blandly because of dull characters. (Heist and Ronin) And I've seen so-so stories play well because of great characters. (Beverly Hills Cop and The Town)

I would say that good story will practically never save a movie with dull characters but good characters absolutely can save a movie with a dull story. But there's no excuse for not having both.

...And that is why Point Break is the greatest movie ever made.

It's okay with me if it's okay with your mom.

/would make a great father, ladies....

Not having themes, arcs, and motifs doesn't make a movie bad. Being dull makes a movie bad. But what makes a movie dull or pointless is very hard to define.

The best movies I can think of that don't have a strong theme are probably Ghostbusters and The Blues Brothers, and they're undeniably great. Even Back to the Future proposes the theme "be bold: get what you want". Bllues Brothers has strong character arcs (they're on a mission from God, after all), but Ghostbusters doesn't (well, Venkman stops torturing college students, so that's something). Ghostbusters DOES have strong visual motifs (statues are repeatedly used to suggest that spirits are all around us).

PotC:CotBP doesn't have any of these ("pirates" doesn't count as a visual motif; it's a pirate movie), but it looks great and is a lot of fun. The writers tried to give Will and Elizabeth arcs (assertiveness and independence), but it's weak tea compared to Jack's rags-to-riches greatness.

Yeah. One of us.

Saw the trailer before Thor and noticed that there's no Will and Elizabeth, which seemed like a sensible choice. I'm looking forward to it in a modest way.

After following along with the DIF Pirates 1 and 2 recording, I watched Pirates 3, and my view softened on all of them. What generated confusion and exhaustion the first time around in 2 and 3 weren't so overwhelming.

Yeah. I kept hoping the film would tie Thor to Earth more securely. I thought he would have to fight an Earth supervillain (which is what I thought the giant magic furnace robot was) and decide that Earth and Jane needed his ongoing protection. Or maybe frost giants would come to earth or something.

Even right at the end, I thought... SPOILER when Loki falls presumably to Earth, he would boast that he would fuck it up just to spite Thor, so Thor would follow him and be trapped where he could at least protect Earth. But that really needed a theme of Thor being a loaner and learning that he has a moral duty to protect weaker people, which wasn't in the movie.