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Hi all,
I, for one, am very sad that the podcast is on pause... so I think that we should all make snide comments in the form of modified movie quotes!
I will start it:
Deckard: "I have had podcasts walk out on me before, but not... when I was being so charming."
Blade Runner
dp.
+1 
You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Chrystie, and I won't have it! Is that clear? You think you've merely stopped a podcast. That is not the case! The fanboys have taken billions of page-views out of this network, and now they must put them back! It is ebb and flow, tidal gravity! It is ecological balance! You are a young man who thinks in terms of communities and peoples. There are no communities. There are no peoples. There are no fanboys. There are no fangirls. There are no geeks. There are no nerds. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multinational dominion of social-media. Page-views, shares, follows, favourites, and retweets. It is the international system of currency which determines the totality of life on this planet. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of things today! And YOU have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and YOU... WILL... ATONE! Am I getting through to you, Mr. Chrystie? You get up on your little 128kbps audio stream and howl about Narrative and Payoffs. There is no Narrative. There are no Payoffs. There is only DIF, and FIYH, and WAYDM. Those are the nations of the world today. What do you think the fanboys talk about in their councils of state, the Hero's Journey? They get out their page-view counter, clicks-per-minute, social-media-network graphs, and compute the price-cost probabilities of their advertising revenue streams, just like we do. We no longer live in a world of commentary and character-arc, Mr. Chrystie. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of clickbait. Podcasts are a business, Mr. Chrystie. It has been since man crawled out of the slime. And our children will live, Mr. Chrystie, to see that... perfect world... in which there's no fanwank, hit-whoring or entitlement. One vast and ecumenical holding company, for whom all men will work to serve a common profit, in which all men will hold a share of stock. All necessities provided, all anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused. And I have chosen you, Mr. Chrystie, to preach this evangel.
Last edited by Herc (2015-03-01 08:25:23)
What on earth is that from??
Also obligatory:
"Come a day there won't be room for podcasts like us to slip about at all. This forum goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge."
and...
"Y'all got on this community for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another site, maybe on this very forum swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make movies... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave."
What on earth is that from??
Network! At the time it was a satire, but it is currently a stunningly prescient piece of prophecy (kinda like Mr. Show).
Don't say anything until I've said what I've got to say. I've listened to FIYH for almost three years now and I've never taken them as seriously as I should have. They are the strangest, coolest, most genuine podcasters I've ever listened to; and the thing that scares me about them is how good they make me wish I was. Help me, FIYH. Help me become like you. I mean, I am so amazing... but I'm not perfect... you are... give me that power...so I can abuse it.
+1
"I don’t want to listen to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper podcast. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a sine wave and your father was a secondary audio track!"
Obligatory suck-up post:
"Yoda: Dark times to the galaxy have come. Many years have I waited for you. A podcaster you will be. Save the Galaxy you will.
Stacey: [trying to work the microphone] Yeah, whatever, but I think you're hairdryer is broken."
PINK FIVE
+1
I don't know who you think you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long period of trolling. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my podcast go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not email you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will whinge at you on the Internet.
+3
It puts the friends in its head!
+2
Yeah, but John, if the FIYH podcast breaks down, the podcast don't eat the tourists
1000 hours? You're gonna need a bigger mp3 player.
+2
Teague: Goodnight Goodnight.
Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great, man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man...
Burke: Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don't we try that?
I know what you're thinking? Did I record all 1000 hours or only 990? You know, in all the podcasting I lost track myself. Seeing as how this is the FIYH community, the most sarcastic community on the Internet, you have to ask yourself one question-do I feel lucky?
So you've finished the series, Teague?
+1
Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire podcast from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
ALIENS
Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all those who live without DiF.
+1
"What's the point of recording Friends in Your Head if you can't be childish, sometimes?"- Doctor Who
Aye, spoilers in the chat and you may die. Listen to a commentary and you’ll live — at least a while. And, friends in your head many years from now, would you be willing to trope all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell the forum that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our Podcast!!!
BRAVEHEART
Last edited by Regan (2015-03-01 19:08:34)
+1
Oh come on! You're a bunch of short-sighted morons!! What are you, crazy?! Plan C? "Restart the community somehow?" Oh that's a great idea! That's a brilliant idea! I can't believe I'm stuck on this forum with you lunatics! You may have nothing to say, you may have nothing to say, you may have nothing to say, but I have plenty left to say about story structure thank you very much while you're up! Now press pause after the Paramount logo fades to black! They told us to record, and we're going to record! Why? You wanna be a productive member of society? You wanna work on your own projects? What do you want to be? You're out of your minds! Thank you!
Look! You have one job on this lousy podcast, it's *stupid*, but you're gonna do it! Okay?
Last edited by Regan (2015-03-01 21:44:08)
Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the Friends in Your Head.
I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your podcast and I realized that you're not actually a podcast. Every podcast on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you people do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. podcasts are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.
+2
Inconceivable!
+1
[Not really overly outraged, more valedictory, but....]
'Chapter One. He adored DIF. He idolized it all out of proportion.' Uh, no, make that: 'He-he romanticized it all out of proportion. OK... To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a podcast that existed in mp3 and pulsated to the great tunes of Teague Chrystie.' Uh, now let me start this over...
'Chapter One: He was too romantic about DIF, as he was about everything else. He thrived on the hustle bustle of the forums and the traffic. To him, DIF meant beautiful avatars and street smart posters who seemed to know all the angles.' Ah, corny, too corny for, you know, my taste. Let me, let me try and make it more profound...
'Chapter One: He adored DIF. To him it was a metaphor for the decay of contemporary culture. The same lack of individual integrity that caused so many filmmakers to take the easy way out was rapidly turning the podcast of his dreams in..' No, it's gonna be too preachy, I mean, you know, let's face it, I wanna get some User Karma here.
'Chapter One: He adored DIF. Although to him it was a metaphor for the decay of contemporary culture. How hard it was to exist in a society desensitized by hackneyed VFX, over-compressed soundtracks, studio cynicism, poor story structure, needless sequels...' Too angry. I don't wanna be angry.
'Chapter One. He was as witty and informative as the podcast he loved. Behind his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled critical power of a jungle cat.' Oh, I love this! 'DIF was his podcast, and it always would be.'
Last edited by sellew (2015-03-02 13:30:16)
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