Topic: Worst film you've ever seen?

For me, it has to be one I saw just yesterday, a direct-to-DVD "thriller" titled Water's Edge that starred, surprisingly enough, Nathan Fillion. His involvement was the only reason I decided to watch the movie when it popped up on my Netflix streaming feed. And...boy howdy. It wasn't bad in the Plan 9 "so-bad-it's-good" way; it was just bloody awful, horrendously, tediously awful. Fillion did the best he could to bring some dignity to it, but the dialogue was horrendous, the acting from everyone except Fillion ranged from mediocre to completely abysmal, the plot devolved into nonsense that was impossible to follow, characters' motivations were just...ugh. View it here, if you're in a masochistic mood and want to share it with Captain Reynolds.

Last edited by Abbie (2013-07-20 04:01:57)

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Almighty Thor, from The Asylum, was just a miserable exercise in capitalizing on the Marvel Thor movie. It made no sense, starred an abysmal actor, featured Richard Grieco shot separately doing nothing.... Just awful.

Plan 9 From Outer Space really is stupendously bad. Bizarrely written and laughably acted; cobbled together from various leftover footage and stock footage. Complete nonsense, but so inept as to be vaguely interesting.

Also, most of everything I've watched from Something Weird Video. Those guys have cornered the market on 1960s schlock.

Warning: I'm probably rewriting this post as you read it.

Zarban's House of Commentaries

Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

What Dreams May Come stands out among the all the bad movies I've ever seen as the only one my whole family watched together and despised with equal passion. Usually, at least one person's tastes will diverge and we'll have a rollicking back and forth, discussing the movie's various pros and cons. But we were all of one opinion on that one.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

"Knowing" starring Nicholas Cage. It couldn't pick a genre or stick to it and then had an ending that was ridiculous to the point of being laughable. With Rabbits.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Disaster Movie (a Friedberg & Seltzer "comedy"). It's not really a movie, it's just a series of bad jokes. Even Twilight: New Moon is more watchable.

Plan 9 From Outer Space really is stupendously bad. Bizarrely written and laughably acted; cobbled together from various leftover footage and stock footage. Complete nonsense, but so inept as to be vaguely interesting.

Stupid minds, stupid, stupid! big_smile It's the best unintentional comedy of all time.

Last edited by MartyJ (2013-07-20 12:51:26)

So honor the valiant who die 'neath your sword
But pity the warrior who slays all his foes...

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Phantom Menace, Transformers 2, Prometheus. In this case, 'Worst' defined as the difference between expectations and reality, or between resources and final product.

not long to go now...

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Moulin Rouge, without a doubt.


Dishonorable mention:

Titanic, Higher Learning, Batman Forever (the damage was done, Batman & Robin was inevitable after this), American Beauty, Corky Romano, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Red Dragon, Charlie's Angels, Popeye, The Green Mile, At First Sight, Million Dollar Hotel, The Weight of Water, Absolute Power, Ghosts Of Mississippi, The Grinch, Men in Black II, The Fan, Meet Joe Black, Wicker Park, The Devil's Own, Hannibal, The Relic, One Night Stand, Crash (2005).

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Manos: The Hands of Fate.

"Life is about movies; anything else is a bonus!"- Me   cool

Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

/worked on the restoration of Manos

/I ain't skurred, you don't know me, what

Worst movie I've ever seen? Going with the generally accepted "okay, well it's hard to just give one answer" disclaimer one also adopts for "favorite," I vote Apollo 18.

Teague Chrystie

I have a tendency to fix your typos.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

I'm going to have to go with the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

S. Darko (the sequel to the great Donnie Darko) deserves a special mention in the "worst direct-to-DVD disappointment".

Call me crazy, but I think Red Dragon is slightly better than Manhunter. Brett Ratner is no artist, but (on na good day) he can put together a watchable movie. He would make a fairly decent TV director. Manhunter just didn't work very well for me and Red Dragon has Anthony fuckin' Hopkins.

Last edited by MartyJ (2013-07-20 16:25:49)

So honor the valiant who die 'neath your sword
But pity the warrior who slays all his foes...

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Teague wrote:

/worked on the restoration of Manos

Did it help?

"Life is about movies; anything else is a bonus!"- Me   cool

Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Superman IV: The Quest For Peace.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Jimmy B wrote:

Superman IV: The Quest For Peace.

Another unintentional comedy... Breathing in space is just awesomely stupid.

So honor the valiant who die 'neath your sword
But pity the warrior who slays all his foes...

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

I hate that film with a passion. First film I saw at the cinema too.....

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Well I'm already up to 2 movies I really enjoy mentioned.

I think I'm just gonna avoid this thread from here on out. I'm not sure I can control that little voice in my head that wants to argue, with so much to disagree about going on here.

ZangrethorDigital.ca

Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

PorridgeGun wrote:

Dishonorable mention:

Titanic

Which one?
the German 1943
1953
or James Cameron's

Last edited by Snail (2013-07-20 17:04:29)

"Life is about movies; anything else is a bonus!"- Me   cool

Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

"Cracks" is pretty bad.
Also starring Eva Green, and surprisingly Matt Smith, is "Womb", which is another example of how to not do films.
Both perfect examples that actors alone does not help bringing a movie up in goodness. Matt Smith and Eva Green are both excellent thespians, but both movies are horrifically bad.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Withkittens wrote:

I'm going to have to go with the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies.

Then you need to get out more. There's a whole world of wonderful weirdness that you're missing out on, but it's mixed in with a lot of schlock.

Warning: I'm probably rewriting this post as you read it.

Zarban's House of Commentaries

Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Zarban wrote:
Withkittens wrote:

I'm going to have to go with the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies.

Then you need to get out more. There's a whole world of wonderful weirdness that you're missing out on, but it's mixed in with a lot of schlock.

No arguments there. It was a toss up between those, Transformers 2 and Jennifer's Body. Netflix appears to have a conglomerate of wonderful schlock, but streaming for me is out of the question for the most part, rural internet is a bitch.

But, for the record, I have seen Troll 2.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Last night I watched Miami Connection and Revolt on Netflix. Both are solid contenders for worst film ever made but I had fun laughing at how bad they were.

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

I don't have a single film I like the least, or even a bottom 5 - I don't hate film for being bad, as much as missing potential. Some films I really didn't enjoy:

The expendables
Batman forever
Iron man 3
Promethius
Source code

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

If you include no-name DTV movies, there's hundreds of awful ones, so I'm probably staying away from that.

In terms of things I've seen theatrically, for flat-out worst I'd probably say the atrocious Conan Barbarian remake, runner's up being Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle of Life, Ang Lee's Hulk, Transformers 1/2/3, 10,000 BC.

In terms of most crushing disappointment where I felt angry afterwards, I'd probably say it's a toss-up between Terminator Salvation and Prometheus, with Timeline (one of Crichton's most badass books) and Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (finally a big-budget adult animated film, oh wait, it's incomprehensible garbage) as runners up

Last edited by bullet3 (2013-07-20 22:05:55)

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24

Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

Wow, decisions..decisions. Like most, this thread isn't capable of holding the plethora of terrible films that get the green light. I could include any film with Eddie Murphy, the Joel Schumacher Batman films, any of the Friedberg & Seltzer movies, along with retarded science-fiction films like Apollo 18 & that supposed Alien prequel (fuck you Ridley Scott!).

However, for me the cardinal sin in film-making is shear laziness & incompetence and the piece of shit film that was the worst film experience of my life is Movie 43. An anthology comedy movie that is completely devoid of any semblance of humor in it. The film's biggest crime it commits is not that it's relies entirely on offensive (and racist) gross-out humor, but that it does it with a cast of A & B list across that hacks like Friedberg & Seltzer could only dream of employing. While F&S have Carmen Electra, Drake Bell, and Kevin Sorbo; Movie 43 has Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Naomi Watts, Kieran Culkin, Kate Winslet, Gerard Butler, Kristen Bell, Chloe Moretz, Richard Gere, Elizabeth Banks, and Patrick Warburton, just to name a few.

Movie 43 is a movie whose humor can't supersede the mentality of a 4th grade boy and even with all those talent actors, they created a film that will make a 10 year-old boy cringe more than laugh. Like Teague said during the Apollo 18 commentary; "You (Apollo 18) tried to shit on my face and you shit on my neck...you can't even do that right."
And this movie has wasted enough o

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Re: Worst film you've ever seen?

A truly bad movie, to me, is one that is not watchable, often even if you do have the help of the MST3K or Rifftrax guys. Sleepaway Camp is watchable. The Room is watchable. Plan 9 is VERY watchable, with great dialog ("This man is dead. Murdered. And SOMEONE is responsible!"). The incredibly long anime movie Odin: Photon Sailer Starlight is incredibly boring and stupid, but to me it is STILL watchable, if only to see how it can screw up even more. That it ends on a set up for a sequel is just icing on the cake.

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