Cheers Tom, can we use your titles too?

Hooray, community!

Don't forget to credit the production babies.

HOORAY FOR THAT JOKE

Filmin' again, I guess.

I'm gonna go off of the version of the script I have, lemme know if any of the lines I say no longer make sense with the updated scripts everyone got.

Looks like it's taking shape. Obviously the sound levels are all over the place, and I think there needs to be swapping here and there, but yeah. good job.

HOLY SHIT

Editorially, I think it just needs a bit of fat trimming and score, to be honest. There's some heads and tails that could be lopped off to tighten down individual shots, it could "feel" faster just with some more judicious slicing on the takes. Plus with some score, and more driving shots to separate the vignettes, I think it'd feel more like a short film and less like a string of lines. A brief musical interlude every now and then with pretty out-the-window driving shots from everybody.

My offer to help with the audio stands, I'd love to help there... but also, I could score this thing. I'm thinking something cute and synthy, sort of an ongoing incidental score, with touches of moving here and beautiful there.

What all other driving shots do you want?

I can see use for more and/or better generic exterior driving shots, as well as a McDonalds arrival (and maybe a Mcdonalds departure, but I think the gag there works better as a hard cut to a generic driving shot, not actually leaving the restaurant).

That would probably work nicely.

Awesome job, Dave. We're actually getting there!

Any other shots you want me to get today? It's pretty easy for me.

This is pretty cool!

Keep up the good work guys. My main impression is that if the editing is like the bit between Dave, Teague and Ewing discussing keelhauling, it will work very well.

More exterior shots would help break up all the different bits too, I agree with that.

Poem's working just fine. Except the levels.
End sequence is fantastic. It really works. Some needs a bit of stretch, actually, and try and keep the shots where people actually leave the car on separate sides. Like: Back left to front right instead of back left to front left. Kinda shatters the illusion.

Also, is it just me or is Pavlich getting into the car cut from this version?

*side note: Instead of always showing Teague's car, you could cut in some of the footage shot out of windows. I know I shot a great deal of Norway, for instance.

Dave, just... you rule, dude.

This is outstanding. I'm totally impressed by how much this is working. (I mean, I knew it would work all along, but still, you're really making my case for me. Remember when you all thought this was insane? Ah-HA!) I also don't think I've said this yet, but I'm really impressed by some of the performances in here. Who knew everyone could act.

Thoughts:

Don't worry about holding off on the magnificence of Tom opening his door at the expense of making the overall show cooler, I agree more outdoorsy vista stuff throughout could help, especially once there's music in here.

I'd say swap the order of "I'm worried about you" and "Paaaaaaavlich."

Gimme a take of you saying "Norway" more audibly for the sound mix on the "while we were in Norway" joke.

I'll do VFX on shots where the BG is moving/not moving when it shouldn't be. Maggot at McDonalds, for instance.

Haaaaaa, nice reverse on the leaving-McD's shot.

8:29, this is the exact moment for a many-shots-long, say twenty seconds, driving montage. Cool exteriors, people looking out windows, music. ... I press play, and look, a driving montage! Great minds. I'd add ten or fifteen more seconds into that anyway, people looking out windows, the best external shots. The music will sell it.

Jim's one Space Jam might be the biggest laugh line in the whole thing. I know there was originally a buuuuunch of Space Jam jokes, but as it stands with what we have, having a guy who didn't ever get introduced randomly end a poem with "Space Jam" reeeeeeeally tickles me.

ROFL @ "Fluid on me."

End montage, I'd have it go Teague, then Pavlich, then a horizontally flopped Ewing... stack the beginning of the montage with a few comparatively unimpressive vistas, but more importantly, several shots WITH in-car-door-opening happening. A footprint in the snow on "they're all getting out of the car now" will really put the sequence on solid footing. THEN Tomahawk, which is a door opening AND an impressive vista - the score would be timed so when he slides open his door, the "already moving music" kicks it up a notch to "holy shit is this moving" music - which takes us into the other cool ones, like Saniss, and everyone else. Establish car doors opening up front, so we A.) "get it" for the rest of the time, and B.) don't have to cut back into the car. Also, Teague-Pavlich-flopEwing-Tom goes left-right-left-right. Which, that's nice.

Montage-specific notes: I'd reverse the footage on Paul's shot, so it starts tight OTS and pulls back to see more city. Same with blue guy at 11:04. (Jimmy?)  If Owen's take has more running in it before he arrives at the post bumper stick thing, I'd put that in. Running joyfully goes well with the kind of music that's going on. And I'd lose the shot at 11:16, nuthin's happnin.

LOL, I never would have thought to have Greg's line almost inaudible under music, and maybe your intention is for that to be temp, but it's funny like it is.

Overall notes, I'd say there's still some air between lines here and there that could be pared down a bit, but holy shit do you rule.

How much more do you wanna work on this thing before calling it picture lock and moving onto the next phase? (That'd be audio work, scoring, VFX, and color correction/titles.) I don't wanna step on your toes, so if you wanna do it, you've well earned it... but I'd love to CC/title/credits this thing in addition to audio and score. I know, it's the easy last step after you've done all the hard work, but offer's on the table. In that case, you'd gimme a high-rez (higher rez than any of the footage even is) render of the show as it stands, as well as the audio-stuff mixdown that I'll tell ya about later. And a further offer, at further risk of stepping-on-toes: if you'd rather be done with this thing, I can handle the "cutting the air between lines down a bit" stuff in that same process.

If the answer to the offers is "go fuck yourself, dude who dropped the ball on this project for a year and a half and needed someone else to do all the hard work," that would make plenty of sense. 

Just. Fucking. Awesome. You're a credit to the community, dude.

I'm happy to hand over, if you are willing to put together some more training stuff so we can play along at home. 

Think of it as penance for being 18 months tardy?