I can now exclusively reveal that Trey didn't abscond with all the Kickstarter dough. My Pink Five t-shirt arrived today, apparently from Prague.

Italian Spiderman

If we do work through various directors and composers, realize that we'll surely get to Michael Bay and Hans Zimmer at some point.

While you're shuddering, why not consider Thomas Newman as a composer? He's got the chops and the range: Finding Nemo, American Beauty, Skyfall, The Player.

Or draft in someone oriental, like Joe Hisaishi or Nobuo Uematsu.

Or someone 'serious', like John Adams.

Otherwise, if we could somehow put David Arnold, Michael Giacchino and John Powell in a talent blender, I think it might work.

Tom Hardy.

No, wait. Johnny Depp.

Hold on. Sandra Bullock. Sarah Michelle-Gellar. Gillian Anderson.

Or, due to her donation of regenerations to save the Doctor, Alex Kingston. Who will still be married to River Song, obviously.

My memory of Event Horizon from watching it once in the cinema is that it seemed like eight-year-olds had written it, eight-year-olds who had just wet their pants repeatedly when watching Alien and Hellraiser and Evil Dead, eight-year-olds that would think pact with the Devil stories were original, eight-year-olds who threw every scary thing they'd ever seen in their short, excitable lives at a blanket, and found all of it sticking.

But did anyone spot the little Easter Egg that ILM put in? I've heard there's a tiny Jar Jar inside Spock's helmet for one frame, but I couldn't see it.

Uh-oh. I'm on to me.

Quick! Make like a Malkovich!

I so want to see the show that Patricia Routledge did that funny walk in, if only to understand the context of it. (I outrageously presume it wasn't Keeping Up Appearances.)

Also, should I watch Apollos 1 to 17 first before listening to this lunar podule?

Yeah, but you might get better treatment if you either speak German (for then, you can't be English or American), or you use a broad Scottish accent (for Scotland and France are historic allies against the English).

No promises, though; it's a while since I've been in Paris, so local surliness may have been re-allocated.

Klingon Style